Giving lessons to unresponsive kids.

[Underhound]

I need advice in this area.

I've been giving guitar lessons to this 12 year old kid for about six weeks. He says he's into it and his mother claims he's excited about learning, but when we sit down for a lesson it always seems we're back at square one. Basically, he approaches the instrument with the zeal of a dead fish despite my numerous attempts to light a fire under his ass. I don't think he's practicing and if he is he sure ain't practicing like he means it.

Has anyone else had a similar experience?

Maybe some kids just don't have it ?

Is it me?

This is my first attempt at giving lessons so I'm charging half the going rate. Still, I'm starting to feel guilty about taking his parents' money every week.

The floor's open.

[A. Kingstone]

I feel for you.

I remember my first experience with a kid who didn't want to learn. I'd been used to curiosity and enthusiasm. I was so afraid when after 30 seconds I could see this blank look in this kids eyes.

I couldn't get to the beer fridge fast enough after the lesson.

It's not you Underhound but I can't offer any better suggestion than communication.

Good luck.

[cookie]

You should talk to the mother again. Explain that despite whatever she perceives at home, the student is making no progress and demonstrates little interest. You should tell her point-blank that this is a waste of her money and of everybody's time. It is useless for you to teach a student who has made no progress---frustrating for both teacher and student.

If she still insists her kid is "into it," suggest that he might make better progress with another teacher (and suggest some if possible). Another suggestion is to discuss the lack of progress and tell her that you want the kid to practice individually for a while and come back ONLY when he has something to actually show you.

This sounds alot like a case of a mother *wanting* to believe her kid is into it.

[vibes]

Underhound, this may sound like a dumb question, but have you asked the kid what kind of music he likes? If so, have you tried teaching him to play any songs he likes?

The reason I ask is because my mother forced me to take piano lessons for eight years. In all that time, not once did my teacher asked me what kind of music I liked or what I would like to learn more about. She just made me learn how to play songs from different books. Because of this, I grew to hate the instrument and dreaded spending any time playing it. I wish I could play now, but it's too late for that. When my parents finally bought me the instrument I wanted (guitar), I played it quite a bit - 3+ hours a day, on average. I didn't take lessons for very long, but the teachers I had did one thing right - they asked me what I wanted to learn, and what interested me most, and once they knew my preferences, that's what I learned. Mixing in a little bit of this might help to get the kid going.

[Underhound]

Underhound, this may sound like a dumb question, but have you asked the kid what kind of music he likes? If so, have you tried teaching him to play any songs he likes?


That's exactly what I'm doing. I'll ask him to put on a CD he likes (Sum 41, Good Charlotte, White Stripes, etc.), we'll listen to a song and I break it down to the basic chords for him. I'll also print out lyric sheets and write the chords in so he can learn it.
I agree with you that a student is more likely to make progress with an instrument learning the music he/she likes. That's how I started.
This kid likes listening to this stuff and I'm constantly drilling in the fact that he's gotta learn some boring basics before he can go further.

Cookie, thanks for your input. You have a good idea about requiring him to show me some solid progress before we continue. If not I guess I have to decide soon whether to cut bait.

This is my first teaching experience and I was excited about it at first. I was hoping this kid would have the same musical curiosity I had when I was his age.

[Dennis Gonzalez]

His mother needs to sit in on a lesson and watch what happens. Talk to her and explain what you see happening, and that you really need her to come and see for herself what is really happening in class. If you have an extra guitar, sit Mom down with the guitar and show her the first 2 bars of the song you are trying to teach the student, in front of the student, and then send them home to work together on the song.

Every time I bring a parent in on something like this, it leads to two things: either the kid gets better quickly, or the parent decides that this ain't happenin', and the lessons end.

PS... did the kid ask for lessons or is this a parent-induced torture?

[Jazz Bug]

If he is into the White Stripes then teach him Seven Nation Army, it is so easy to play.

I'm sure the kid would enjoy playing it, it's the most simple song to learn and it's fun to play-especially for a kid that age.

I know Jack White uses a slide but it's not necessary. I was at the Music Shop one day, a kid was in his lesson and Will the owner was teaching him Seven Nation, I picked up the Mandolin and began playing along with the part Will was going over. You should have seen the kids faces light up who were waiting for their lesson. I'm sure the kid you are teaching would love it to learn it.

[petros]

It's par for the course. It's simple, keep collecting the money and consider it being payed to practice/ jam together. Show him the two single half notes ( A and C) that make up the basic bass line to "Fever" and make him tap his foot and play it over and over while you take long solos over it. He will feel he has acomplished something by backing you up. Consider that the lesson. Do it every week and don't expect much else. Eventualy add another jam groove like " Louie Louie" or the "Green Onions" bass line or "Acid" by Ray Barretto ( A7 to G7 vamp). Maybe teach him Blues in G if he can handle it. Again, make him comp while you solo. Don't worry about any more progress than that. He's not ready for much else and you don't want to turn him off. LOWER your expectations.

And you really should raise your rate, half price hurts your reputation and other teachers.

[Jazzzoline]

The mom of my son's friend told me this (the kid was learning to play guitar ) :
The guitar were lent so no money was spent on expensive guitar. The kid had to go to 8 lessons. After that, the teacher told the parent(s) if the kid could continue or not. If so, the kid could have his own guitar.
That way, if the kid wasn't interested, or had no talent, or whatever, the parent doesn't push the kid to still attend the lessons for the only reason they bought expensive gear.