So now they've given us a personalised nutrition pyramid.

Of course I'll be designing mine and following it religiously (a real trick since I'm an athiest).

I think I'll change the whole grain segment for corn tortillas made with lard.

The meat segment will be enlarged to include a great deal more pork shoulder, the fatter the better.

The green vegs will be limited to asparagus, green beans, spinach and artichokes all served with hollandaise sauce.

A new segment will be added for Irish and Scotch whiskey plus a large wine portion.

Milk and dairy will be limited to selected artisan cheeses.

A chile segment will be essential.

I'm so happy our government has given me the right to "personalize" my diet. Just like they want to do with Social Security.