Rollhead (and me): The boys who cried seltzer in your pants.

[steve(thelil)]

I've been doing a little thinking about being offensive, and the VARIOUS ways Rollhead, Scott, me and others might offend. And about whether I might have been too offensive when I was doing my mean riff on John Middle Initial Cooper on the Women We Love thread.

Maybe it's because I know him offscreen, but to me Rollhead and I are posters who who play roles (and the fool) in an attempt to amuse.

There may be some truth and/or actual sentiment behind what is being said when it appears that we are attacking, but we're not motivated by animosity or desire to hurt. (I think Rollhead IS sometimes motivated by getting a rise out of people who DON'T see that he's clowning.)

Which isn't to say that there haven't been times that I have attacked out of animosity, but I'm talking about the usual absurd/silly/nasty/not-based-in-reality stuff. Like posting a picture of a mutant or two male trannies on the "Women We Love" Thread.

For those who look at this place as a serious discussion group that is ruined by cut-ups, I know this kind of behavior can be a pain in the ass. But i'm basically someone who is often looking for attention and I often perceive others' posts as just OPENINGS for responses. Now if someone was posting about the loss of a friend or something, I woudn't do that, but I just don't think a post with discussions of the appeal of famous babes is something you can ruin by being a wise guy.

Please feel free to ignore this thread.


Thanks

[rollhead]

pantywaist. You must be the only one who finds me offensive here. I get Valentines from everyone but you these days.

By the way, I am always PROUD to host any of the various turds you would like to drop on a thread.

[rollhead]

Just what exactly is a "boy who cried seltzer in his pants"?

[Vince Kargatis]

I am not getting thelil's presumed joke.

[rollhead]

It is my understanding that steve(thelil) and Rollhead are both "Yes Men," or at least know Yes Men or reside in the same geographic region with Yes Men.

The are both into "identity correction."

The Yes Men are a group of culture jamming activists who practice what they call "identity correction". They pretend to be powerful people and organizations and then use their newfound authority to espouse what they think those groups really believe, or in some cases what they think the groups should believe. Its two leading members are known by a number of aliases, most recently, and in film, Andy Bichlbaum and Mike Bonano. Their real names are Jacques Servin and Igor Vamos, respectively. Servin is an author of experimental fiction, and was known for being the man who inserted images of men kissing in the computer game SimCopter. Vamos is an assistant professor of media arts at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, New York. They are assisted by numerous people across the globe.

For their first prank, in the 1990s, they swapped the electronics of talking Barbie and GI Joe toys and then returned them to the store. They then issued a message as the "Barbie Liberation Organization." The pair later set up a mock web site claiming to be that of the World Trade Organization. When the site received invitations to speak on behalf of the WTO, they made a series of keynote lectures at international conferences with deliberately absurd proposals for economic development and labor relations.

WTO
The Yes Men's most famous prank is placing a "corrected" WTO website at gatt.org (GATT is the treaty that led to the WTO). The fake site began to receive real emails from confused visitors, including invitations to address various elite groups on behalf of the WTO, which they obligingly took up.

Showing up in newly-purchased suits, The Yes Men gave speeches encouraging corporations to buy votes directly from citizens, arguing that the US Civil War was a waste of money because Third World countries now willingly supply equivalent slaves, and claiming that people should listen to the WTO, not the facts, because the WTO had a lot of experts.

Their experiences were documented in the film The Yes Men, distributed by United Artists, as well as the book The Yes Men: The True Story of the End of the World Trade Organization (ISBN 0972952993).

George W. Bush
In 2004, The Yes Men went on tour posing as the group "Yes, Bush Can!" encouraging supporters to sign a "Patriot Pledge" agreeing to keep nuclear waste in their backyard and send their children off to war. They appeared at the 2004 Republican National Convention and drove across the country in a painted van.

Dow Chemicals

Andy Bichlbaum, a member of The Yes Men, appears on BBC World to take full responsibility for the Bhopal disaster.On December 3, 2004, the twentieth anniversary of the Bhopal disaster, Yes Man Andy Bichlbaum appeared on BBC World as "Jude Finisterra", a Dow Chemical spokesman. Dow is the owner of Union Carbide, the company responsible for the chemical disaster which killed thousands and left over 120,000 requiring lifelong care. Finisterra said that Dow planned to liquidate Union Carbide and use the resulting $12 billion to pay for medical care, clean up the site, and fund research into the hazards of other Dow products. After two hours of wide coverage, Dow issued a press release denying the statement, ensuring even greater coverage.

At the International Payments Conference on April 28, 2005 'Dow representative' Erastus Hamm unveiled Acceptable Risk, the Acceptable Risk Calculator, and the Acceptable Risk mascot — a life-sized golden skeleton named Gilda — to an audience of about 70 banking professionals. Details

Quotes
"Now some Civil-War apologists have stated that Civil War, for all its faults, at least had the effect of outlawing an Involuntarily Imported Workforce. Now such a labor model is of course a terrible thing; I myself am an abolitionist. But in fact there is no doubt that left to their own devices, markets would have eventually replaced slavery with "cleaner" sources of labor anyhow. ... Suppose Involuntarily Imported Labor had never been outlawed...What do you think it would cost today to profitably maintain a slave [here]?"
"[L]eave the same slave back at home--let's say, Gabon. In Gabon, $10 pays for two weeks of food, not just one day. $250 pays for two years of housing, not a month's. $50 pays for a lifetime of budget clothing! Health care is likewise much cheaper. On top of it all, youth can be gainfully employed without restriction."
"The biggest benefit of the remote labor system, though, is to the slave him or herself--because in Gabon, there is no need for the slave not to be free! This is primarily because there are no one-time slave transport costs to recoup, and so the potential losses from fleeing are limited to the slave's rudimentary training. So since the slave can be free, he or she suddenly becomes a worker rather than a slave! Also terrific for morale is that slaves--workers!--have the luxury of remaining in their native habitat and don't have to relocate to places [where] they would be subject to such unpleasantries as homesickness and racism."
-- from a lecture by "Hank Hardy Unruh" entitled "Towards the Globalization of Textile Trade" before the "Textiles of the Future" conference at Tampere University of Technology in Tampere, Finland

The lecture is printed in full in the book The Yes Men.

[patricia]

For some reason, the "Yes Men" remind me of an essay that the Canadian author, Pierre Berton wrote, years ago, that made a satiric case against publicly funded education, which of course exists and should exist. Berton is well known here as a serious, albiet boring author of historical non-fiction.
There were those who didn't "get it" and wholeheartedly supported Berton's position. The item laid out the cost to taxpayers, the paucity of intelligence of those on whom this expensive project would be wasted and the idea that there should be a standard scale to which those who wished to receive this schooling, designed to assess the cost/benefit of such a luxury would be subjected.

There will always be those who don't understand satire, or just general foolishness.
steve[thelil] and our newly returned rollhead are well-known around this board for their tomfoolery. We love them and allow them these flights into fancy, occasional belly laughs and occasionally posts and indeed entire threads based on their off-beat humour, bad taste and occasionally astounding creativity.
Both appreciate the ladies, their adolescent meanderings notwithstanding as evidenced by their periodic sanity.

[steve(thelil)]

There will always be those who don't understand satire, or just general foolishness.
steve[thelil] and our newly returned rollhead are well-known around this board for their tomfoolery. We love them and allow them these flights into fancy, occasional belly laughs and occasionally posts and indeed entire threads based on their off-beat humour, bad taste and occasionally astounding creativity.
Both appreciate the ladies, their adolescent meanderings notwithstanding as evidenced by their periodic sanity.

Thanks, Gorgeous: I'm definitely going to use this in my defense at sentencing hearings. (I think it'll help whether or not I claim insanity)

[patricia]

Thanks, Gorgeous: I'm definitely going to use this in my defense at sentencing hearings. (I think it'll help whether or not I claim insanity)

Go with insanity, darlin'.

[Doc Martin]

Just what exactly is a "boy who cried seltzer in his pants"?

"A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants." - Chuckles the Clown (RIP)

[patricia]

"A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants." - Chuckles the Clown (RIP)

Doc, that is one of the few hysterically funny lines from the old "Mary Tyler Moore Show" that I remember. The whole episode was so funny. There is nothing funnier than people losin' it at a funeral. Laughing in the face of the Grim Reaper is classic.
Thanks for the smile and isn't it interesting that we both even remember that line?
Wasn't there a scene in which they talked about the unfortunate Chuckles who had been dressed in a Mr Peanut costume for a parade and was crushed to death by an elephant? Murray speculated, as I recall, that he was lucky that he wasn't dressed in a banana suit, because then he might well have been peeled to death.
I laughed til tears started to come. Genius!!

[Doc Martin]

Wasn't there a scene in which they talked about the unfortunate Chuckles who had been dressed in a Mr Peanut costume for a parade and was crushed to death by an elephant? Murray speculated, as I recall, that he was lucky that he wasn't dressed in a banana suit, because then he might well have been peeled to death.
I laughed til tears started to come. Genius!!

[steve(thelil)]

Loved that episode too. I think I did get the expression from it.

What I meant by "the boys who cried seltzer in your pants) was kind of a variation of "the boy who cried wolf": to (half) wit: That if Rollie and me claim that all kinds of offensive shit we post is "just a joke" we will lose credibility when we really are JUST joking.

(Yes, I know that when a joke needs explaining, there is a difficult to rebut presumption that it sucks.)

[rollhead]

that reminds me of the guy who came back from the Iraq war after he had his dick shot off. He lost his dick in the desert, but the surgeon said, "no problem, we'll just graft the tip of an elephant's trunk on the stump."

After months of rehabilitation at Walter Reed with lovely nurses, he left for the real world with his brand new johnson, and told to come back in month for an evaluation.

Pretty Nurse: "How did your new dick do?"

Soldier: "Very well, until one night at a welcome-home party they passed peanuts around ... "

[patricia]

Jokes are like giant balloons.
Some are helium-filled and live on.
Some are filled with air and leak and collapse, looking kind of embarrassing. Those who choose to amuse their friends and total strangers always take the risk that all their joke balloons may be the ordinary air-filled ones, lying collapsed and pitiful.
But humour is what sometimes is the only thing that keeps us sane.
So, keep 'em comin'.

Rollie, I'm smiling slightly.

[rollhead]

Rollie, I'm smiling slightly.

Funny, i thought it was hilarious. So did Steve(thelil)

[rollhead]

I am not getting thelil's presumed joke.

It helps to hit up some retsin and put on some post-modernist music.

[patricia]

It helps to hit up some retsin and put on some post-modernist music.

Ah yes. Retsin, the nectar of the godless. Recommendations of just what post-modernist material would raise the joke to belly laugh level please.

[scrotum boy]

Funny, i thought it was hilarious. So did Steve(thelil)

Actually, I thought it was conceptually flawed in that I would be even prouder of my new trunkshlong AFTER using it when they passed the peanuts.

[patricia]

Actually, I thought it was conceptually flawed in that I would be even prouder of my new trunkshlong AFTER using it when they passed the peanuts.

Absolutely and I can't believe I'm agreeing with the infamous
S.B.
Rollhead's joke lacked layers, therefore the joke was indeed conceptually flawed. The progression is the giggle, the chuckle, the laugh, the guffaw, then the losing control of one's faculties due to hysteria. LAYERS . Just an observation, of course. I am not a teller of jokes. I am an immortalizer of shadow and light. Therefore, for what it's worth.

[rollhead]

Absolutely and I can't believe I'm agreeing with the infamous
S.B.
Rollhead's joke lacked layers, therefore the joke was indeed conceptually flawed. The progression is the giggle, the chuckle, the laugh, the guffaw, then the losing control of one's faculties due to hysteria. LAYERS . Just an observation, of course. I am not a teller of jokes. I am an immortalizer of shadow and light. Therefore, for what it's worth.

Well, I should have known that a beauty like you wouldn't be surprised at all if a trunk-schlong came out of a guy's trousers to grab some goobers.

For a guy who looks like me, it's unusual.

[patricia]

Well, I should have known that a beauty like you wouldn't be surprised at all if a trunk-schlong came out of a guy's trousers to grab some goobers.

For a guy who looks like me, it's unusual.

Oh, I don't know, Rollhead. That sort of occurance never loses it's power to startle.
I confess. I laughed, in that dignified way I have, when I read your joke.