Favorite Seinfeld Dialogue

[Gordon B]

Kramer: Yello?

Jerry: Kramer, there may be a problem with the phone, hold on. >click click<

George: "There may be a problem with the phone, hold on"!

Jerry: Oh no! >click click< Kramer, this phone's a piece of junk, goodbye!

George: "The phone's a piece of junk, goodbye"!

Jerry: Oh no! Now she's heard everything! What are we gonna do?!?

[Scott Dolan]

Kramer: I'm out!!

[bluenoter]

I've seen only one episode of Seinfeld: the one about the chocolate babka.* It was okay, I guess.

*The Dinner Party, episode #77

[Scott Dolan]

Man, they'll put ANYTHING in Wikipedia!!

Blue, you've GOT to check out "The Contest" episode I'm quoting from in my previous post. Even an uptight broad like you ( KIDDING!) would appreciate it.

[Cem]

"Deloreeees!!"

[bluenoter]

Man, they'll put ANYTHING in Wikipedia!!

Blue, you've GOT to check out "The Contest" episode I'm quoting from in my previous post. Even an uptight broad like you ( KIDDING!) would appreciate it.

Well, thanks, Scott, but I don't have a DVD player or a VCR. Besides, I just read about that one in Wikipedia too. Eh.

Look, someone in North America has to fail to appreciate Seinfeld.

[Jimmy Cantiello]

Damn, there were so many great dialogues in Seinfeld. I can't remember which episode it was in but the dialogue that always makes me laugh out loud is between George and his boss as George is being fired for having sex on his desk with the cleaning lady after hours. Trying to plead his case and grasping at straws George says something like, "Well, if I knew that sort of thing was frowned upon...." as he's cut off in mid-sentence by the boss who repeats, "You're fired!". George slinks out of the office.............

[Brian Olewnick]

Look, someone in North America has to fail to appreciate Seinfeld.

You and me make two, Rita.

[Chris D]

JERRY: Hey! How'd it go with the cocktail franks?

GEORGE: Great! I ate the entire platter! Had to call in sick today.

JERRY: Didn't you call in sick yesterday?

GEORGE: Hey, I work for Kruger Industrial Smoothing: "We don't care, and it shows."

[Gentle Giant]

Sorry for the long post, but the whole damn scene is amazing.

The Intervention

To Elaine

GUY: The membranes get dried and it just starts bleeding. Since I was a

kid so I have to stick tissue up there

ELAINE: (very uninterested) Uh, you have to work like that?

GUY: Nobody minds Nobody has ever said anything to me.

To Jerry

OTHER GUY: Are there any ice cubes?

JERRY: In the freezer.

OTHER GUY: I looked. There aren't any ice cubes.

JERRY: Well I guess there aren't any ice cubes.

OTHER GUY: I can't drink this. It's warm! (walks away)

Guy: Shouldn't we rehearse this a little bit before Richie comes?

Steve: What's the plan?

JERRY: Do I have to talk? I don't feel like talking.

OTHER GUY: Well, if he's not going to talk I'm not going to talk either.

GUY: No, we all have to talk.

ELAINE: What's the order?

GUY: We'll go in alphabetical order. First Roberta.

ROBERTA: Why am I first?

ELAINE: Albano is your last name.

ROBERTA: That's not my name any more. I'm divorced.

Steve: I'll go first.

Kramer enters

KRAMER: Hey.

JERRY: Hey.

KRAMER: Is this the interference?

JERRY: Intervention.

OTHER GUY: What are you doing here?

KRAMER: Uh, is it all right if I stay for the intervention?

Steve: Hey, this is for close friends only.

KRAMER: I'm a friend. Who do you think told him to pour the Gatorade

over Marty Benson's head?

OTHER GUY: Let him stay.

KRAMER: Hey, you know I got someone to make up that cologne for me, big mouth.

Steve: Somebody's going to make that crap?

Some old guys enter

Old Guy: Kramer!

KRAMER: Hey, come on, these are some of my polar bear buddies.

OTHER GUY: They can't stay.

Old Guy: We're having a party here?

JERRY: No, we're having an intervention

Old Guy: An intervention? Who's intervening?

JERRY: There's a friend of ours on drugs and we're going to confront him.

OLD GUY: Sure, we used to do that when one of our polar bears stopped

coming. We would go to his house and say, "What you don't want to be a

polar bear anymore? It's too cold for you?"

Buzzer

GUY: It's him.

Roberta: What should we do?

ELAINE: Hide!

JERRY: It's NOT a surprise party! Yeah (to intercom)

GEORGE: It's George

JERRY: Yeah, come on up. ... It's not him.

GUY: If you don't go out with me it's because I'm a bar tender.

ELAINE: Look, I don't think this is appropriate right now.

GUY: Is it because I have a tissue in my nose?

ELAINE: You're getting warm.

George and Noel enter (Noel looks awful)

GEORGE: We just came from Chadway's(?) What's going on.

JERRY: We're having the intervention for Richie.

GEORGE: Oh, right, right, the intervention. Should we leave?

JERRY: Well, uh..

NOEL: (happily) Elaine, hi.

ELAINE: Oh, hi Noel

(Noel sits on couch with Elaine with Old Guy between them)

JERRY: Well, you're looking well.

GEORGE: Jerry, let me tell you something, "A man without hand is not a man."

I got so much hand I'm coming out of my gloves. I got to thank Kramer.

Steve: Even if I were dragged through manure I still wouldn't put that stuff on.

GEORGE: (to Kramer) This man is a genius. Genius!

Steve: You think so?

GEORGE: I don't think so I know so, Kramer, come here I got to talk to you

Old Man: The male kangaroo doesn't have a pouch only the female has it. The male has pouch envy.

ELAINE: (Chuckles)

Old GUY; at least give me a pocket.

ELAINE: (laughs)

Noel turns to Elaine. Jerry raises his eyes to heaven

NOEL: That laugh. That's the laugh. That's it. You're the one.

ELAINE: No, no. It was an accident. It really wasn't my fault. It was Jerry.

Jerry put a Pez dispenser on my leg.

NOEL: You put a Pez dispenser on her leg during my recital?.

JERRY: I didn't know she would laugh.

NOEL: You lied to me George, you lied to me.

GEORGE: No, I, uh, um, wa, wa, What did I do? ... Where are you going?

NOEL: I ... am breaking up ... with you!

GEORGE: You can't break up with me. I've got hand.

NOEL: And you're going to need it.

[Jimmy Cantiello]

George and Jerry at Monk's.


George: What's the deal with Aquaman? Could he go on land, or was he just restricted to water?


Jerry: No, I think I saw him on land a couple times. So how's the job situation goin'?

[Scott Dolan]

Hahahahaha..........

[Root Doctor]

JERRY: Oh, I'm glad you're here, so we can get this all straightened out. Would you like a cup of tea?

BOOKMAN: You got any coffee?

JERRY: Coffee?

BOOKMAN: Yeah. Coffee.

JERRY: No, I don't drink coffee.

BOOKMAN: Yeah, you don't drink coffee? How about instant coffee?

JERRY: No, I don't have--

BOOKMAN: You don't have any instant coffee?

JERRY: Well, I don't normally--

BOOKMAN: Who doesn't have instant coffee?

JERRY: I don't.

BOOKMAN: You buy a jar of Folger's Crystals, you put it in the cupboard, you forget about it. Then later on when you need it, it's there. It lasts forever. It's freeze-dried. Freeze-dried Crystals.

JERRY: Really? I'll have to remember that.

BOOKMAN: You took this book out in 1971.

JERRY: Yes, and I returned it in 1971.

BOOKMAN: Yeah, '71. That was my first year on the job. Bad year for libraries. Bad year for America. Hippies burning library cards, Abby Hoffman telling everybody to steal books. I don't judge a man by the length of his hair or the kind of music he listens to. Rock was never my bag. But you put on a pair of shoes when you walk into the New York Public Library, fella.

JERRY: Look, Mr. Bookman. I--I returned that book. I remember it very specifically.

BOOKMAN: You're a comedian, you make people laugh.

JERRY: I try.

BOOKMAN: You think this is all a big joke, don't you?

JERRY: No, I don't.

BOOKMAN: I saw you on T.V. once; I remembered your name--from my list. I looked it up. Sure enough, it checked out. You think because you're a celebrity that somehow the law doesn't apply to you, that you're above the law?

JERRY: Certainly not.

BOOKMAN: Well, let me tell you something, funny boy. Y'know that little stamp, the one that says "New York Public Library"? Well that may not mean
anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole hell of a lot. Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before: Flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. What's this guy making such a big stink about old library books? Well, let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers? Doesn't HE deserve better? Look. If you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you'd better think again. This is about that kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped! Or: maybe
that turns you on, Seinfeld; maybe that's how y'get your kicks. You and
your good-time buddies. Well I got a flash for ya, joy-boy: Party time is over. Y'got seven days, Seinfeld. That is one week!

[clinthopson]

"They're real and they're spectacular!"

[Jimmy Cantiello]

[setting: Elaine's office and Jerry's apartment]

(Elaine's on the phone with Jerry)

JERRY: No eight years isn't such a long streak.

ELAINE: It isn't?

JERRY: No I haven't vomited in thirteen years.

ELAINE: Get out!

JERRY: Not since June 29, 1980.

ELAINE: You remember the date?

JERRY: Yes, because my previous vomit was also June 29th... 1972. That's why during the '80 vomit, I was yelling to George: "Can you believe it? I'm vomiting on June 29th again."

ELAINE: Boy, you know when Joel told me he hadn't thrown up in eight years, I was wondering if he was normal.

JERRY: Your boyfriend is a normal guy. He just happens to have the same name as one of the worst serial killers in the history of New-York.

ELAINE: Yeah... (2 co-workers enter Elaine's office) Oh Jer, I gotta go. I gotta go. (she hangs up)

JOANNE: Hi, we just saw your boyfriend at a bus stop.

ELAINE: Oh, yeah?

JOANNE: Yeah. What's his name?

ELAINE: Joel.

JOANNE: Joel what?

ELAINE: Uh... Rifkin.

MICHAEL: Rifkin? Joel Rifkin?

ELAINE: Yeah. It's just a coincidence obviously.

MICHAEL: Guess you better keep on his good side.

ELAINE: Very funny. That's very funny.

JOANNE: I wouldn't sleep with my back to him if I were you.

ELAINE: All right. Well that's enough of that. That's enough.

MICHAEL: Hey Elaine listen. If you smell anything decaying in the trunk of his car...

ELAINE: (she's upset, gets up and yells) OK look this is my boyfriend we're talking about OK? And he's a gentlemen, he's good looking, he's a good shaver and he hasn't thrown up in eigth years so just shut up about him! Shut up!

[Root Doctor]

GARY: Okay. Well, the thing is, I've been living a lie.

GEORGE: Just one? I'm living like twenty.

[walto]

GEORGE: What is Pericles?

ALEX TREBEK: Pericles is correct.

JERRY: Like fire in a school is such a big deal. (Kramer enters)

KRAMER: Hey, you got any matches?

JERRY: Middle drawer.

GEORGE: Who is Sir Arthur Conan Doyle?

ALEX TREBEK: We were looking for 'Who is Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.'

KRAMER: Thanks. (Kramer leaves, phone rings)

JERRY: Hello?

KATIE: Jerry.

JERRY: Oh hi, Katie.

KATIE: I heard what happened to the junior high. They can't bump you like that. That is so unprofessional.

JERRY: Oh relax, Katie. It's not a problem.

GEORGE: What is Borax?

ALEX TREBEK: Yes, you're right.

KATIE: They bump you in junior high, the next thing you know you're being bumped in high schools, colleges, trade schools. Before you know it, Letterman's not returning your calls. (Kramer enters)

KRAMER: Ashtrays?

JERRY: No, I don't have any ashtrays.

KRAMER: Ooh, cereal bowls.

KATIE: Jerry, now don't freak out, I'll take care of it.

JERRY: No, Katie, don't-- (He hangs up phone)

KRAMER: All right, thanks. (Kramer leaves)

GEORGE: What is Tungsten or Wolfram?

ALEX TREBEK: We were looking for 'What is Tungsten, or Wolfram'.

JERRY: Is this a repeat?

GEORGE: No, no, no. Just lately, I've been thinking a lot clearer. Like this afternoon, (To television) what is chicken Kiev, (Back to Jerry) I really enjoyed watching a documentary with Louise.

JERRY: Louise! That's what's doin' it. You're no longer pre-occupied with sex, so your mind is able to focus.

GEORGE: You think?

JERRY: Yeah. I mean, let's say this is your brain. (Holds lettuce head) Okay, from what I know about you, your brain consists of two parts: the intellect, represented here (Pulls off tiny piece of lettuce), and the part obsessed with sex. (Shows large piece) Now granted, you have extracted an astonishing amount from this little scrap. But with no-sex-Louise, this previously useless lump, is now functioning for the first time in its existence. (Eats tiny piece of lettuce)

GEORGE: Oh my God. I just remembered where I left my retainer in second grade.

[Jimmy Cantiello]

Shouldn't that be "Who is Pericles? Just saying.........

[Jimmy Cantiello]

No doubt Jerry and George engaged in some of the most compelling conversations of the series........


[Jerry and George at Monks]

George: I can't eat this without catsup. Would it kill her to check up on us? Would that be a terrible thing? "How's everything? Do you need anything? What can I do for you?"

Jerry: I know what you mean.

George: Do ya?

Jerry: It's like going out with someone and you never hear from them again.

George: Same thing!

Jerry: Not really, but it's something. Ask the people behind you.

George: Excuse me. Are you using your catsup?

Woman: What do you think? You want to give him the catsup?

Man: It's up to you.

Woman: You know what? I don't think so. I'm going to need it from time to time.

Jerry: So what are you doing later? You want to go to the movies?

George: Nah - what for?

Jerry: To see a movie.

George: I've been to the movies.

Jerry: Not this movie.

George: They're all the same. You go, you sit, you eat popcorn, you watch. I'm sick of it.

Jerry: Did you shower today?

George: Yeah.

Jerry: That's usually the kind of mood I'm in when I haven't showered.

George: When is it going to be my turn, Jerry? When do I get my 15 minutes? I want my 15 minutes!

Jerry: Oh, quit complaining. At least you have your health.

George: Ah! Health's not good enough. I want more than health. Health's not doing it for me anymore. I'm sick of health.

Woman: All right, we're done. You can have it now.

George: Oh, very gracious.

[claude]

BOB: So! What's it going to be? Are you going to wear the ribbon?

KRAMER (nervously): No! Never.

BOB: But I am wearing the ribbon. He is wearing the ribbon. We are all wearing the ribbon! So why aren't you going to wear the ribbon!?

KRAMER: This is America! I don't have to wear anything I don't want to wear!

CEDRIC: What are we gonna do with him?

BOB: I guess we are just going to have to teach him to wear the ribbon!

[Jimmy Cantiello]

Yep, and Bob was one of the guys that stole the armoire from Kramer. Very mean thugs, those two............

RAY: Look at this.

BOB: It's an antique.

RAY: It's all hand made and I love the in-lay.

BOB: Yes. Yes. me, too. Ay, it's gorgeous. Completely. Pick it up. No. No.

Pick it up from the bottom over there.

KRAMER: Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. What are you doing?

BOB: What does it look like we're doing? We're taking this.

KRAMER: You can't take this. This belongs to a friend of mine.

BOB: Look, you wanna get hurt?

KRAMER: Huh?

BOB: I don't think you wanna get hurt. Because if you wanna get hurt I can

hurt you. Now, just back off.

RAY: Bob.

BOB: Just pick it up.

KRAMER: What is this, huh?

BOB: You have some kind of problem here? What is it you not understanding?

We taking the armoire and that's all there is to it. Okay?

[Gentle Giant]

Wayne Knight as Newman was absolutely brilliant.

NEWMAN: Hello Mrs. Seinfeld

HELEN: (like Jerry) Hello, Newman. Jerry's not here. (goes to shut the door on him)

NEWMAN: Uh ah (stops her from closing the door; walks in) Having a nice trip? (walks over, grabs a junior mint, smells it then puts it in his pocket)

HELEN: Wonderful, we went to the theater last night.

NEWMAN: Oh the theater. Because I was wondering.

HELEN: Wondering what?

NEWMAN: Why I didn't see you at Schindler's List with Jerry.

HELEN: Well we already saw it.

NEWMAN: Oh, well it's a good thing for Jerry that you didn't go.

MORTY: (getting up from the table and coming over) Why is that?

NEWMAN: Well he really seemed to have his hands full if you know what I mean.

HELEN: I'm afraid I don't.

NEWMAN: Him and his little buxom friend Rachel were going at it pretty good in the balcony.

MORTY: What?

NEWMAN: What, do I have to spell it out for ya? He was moving on her like the storm-troopers into Poland.

HELEN: Jerry was necking during Schindler's List?

NEWMAN: Yes! A more offensive spectacle I cannot recall. Anyway I just really came up to get some detergent.

HELEN: Jerry sends his laundry out.

NEWMAN: (laughing) Oh ho right. Well very nice seeing you folks and a by the way you didn't hear this from me. Tata (runs down the hallway laughing)






*Newman enters*

Newman: Hey, hey...

Jerry: Hello Newman.

Newman: Hello Jerry. So, any news?

Kramer: Yeah, he skipped out and *ptruut* went to South America!

Newman: South America?! What kind of snow blower did you get us mixed up with?

Elaine: Ok, gentlemen. The fact remains you still have no proof. This is all speculation and hearsay.

Kramer: Wait, there is one way to find out. We set up a sting. You know like Abscam. Like Abscam Jerry.

Elaine: What are you gonna do? You gonna put on a phony beard and dress-up like Arab sheiks and sit around in some hotel room. I mean come on...

Jerry: Wait a second. Maybe there is someway we can tempt him and find out...

Newman: If we put our three heads together we should come up with something.

--------------------------------------------------------

*Jerry, Kramer and Newman in the Saab*

Kramer: What's today?

Newman: It's Thursday.

Kramer: Really? Feels like Tuesday.

Newman: Tuesday has no feel. Monday has a feel, Friday has a feel, Sunday has a feel....

Kramer: I feel Tuesday and Wednesday...

Jerry: All right, shut up the both of you! You're making me nervous. Where is he already? He should've been out of work by now.

Newman: Hey, you know this is kind of fun.

Kramer: Yeah, maybe we oughta become private detectives...

Jerry: Yeah maybe you should.

Kramer: Maybe I will.

Newman: Yeah, me too.

Jerry: All right, what are you gonna say to him?

Kramer: Just gonna find out if he's interested.

Newman: Hey, hey maybe I should go with him?

Jerry: No, you stay in the car.

Newman: Who made you the leader?

Jerry: All right Newman, one more peep out of you and you're out of the whole operation! There he is. He's going to that bar.

Kramer: All right, I'm going in.

Jerry: Be careful Kramer.

Newman: I've should've gone in with him.

Jerry: No, you stay here in the car. I may need you.

Newman: What you need me in the car for?

Jerry: I might need you to get me a soda.

-------------------------------------------------------

*Back in the car with Jerry and Newman.*

Jerry: You should try this new dental floss Glide, it's fantastic.

Newman: I use dental tape.

Jerry: You should try this.

Newman: I don't wanna.

Jerry: Not even once?

Newman: No.

Jerry: You're an idiot.

Newman: Why, because I use dental tape?

Jerry: Right, anyone who uses dental tape is an idiot.

[Borat Pri Hagafen]

"The Opposite"

George : My name is George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents.
Victoria: I'm Victoria, Hi.

Mr. Cushman: Why don't you tell me about some of your previous job experiences?
George: Alrighty. My last job was in publishing. I got fired for having sex in my office with the cleaning woman.

Mr. Steinbrenner: Nice to meet you.
George: Well, I wish I could say the same, but I must say, with all due respect, I find it very hard to see the logic behind some of the moves you have made with this fine organization. In the past 20 years you have caused myself, and the city of New York, a good deal of distress, as we have watched you take our beloved Yankees and reduce them to a laughing stock, all for the glorification of your massive ego!

[shrugs]

"I'm back, baby" George after eating some really fresh mango.

[Captain Hate]

George: Well I just got back from swimming in the pool. And the water was
cold...

Jerry: Oh... You mean... shrinkage.

George: Yes. Significant shrinkage!

Jerry: So you feel you were short changed.

George: Yes! I mean, if she thinks that's me she's under a complete
misapprehension. That was not me, Jerry. That was not me.

Jerry: Well, so what's the difference?

George: What if she discusses it with Jane?

Jerry: Oh, she's not gonna tell Jane.

George: How do you know?

Jerry: Women aren't like us.

George: They're worse! They're much worse than us, they talk about
everything! Couldn't you at least tell her about the shrinkage factor?

Jerry: No, I'm not gonna tell her about your shrinkage. Besides, I think
women know about shrinkage.

George: How do women know about shrinkage? (They see Elaine walking down
the hall) Elaine! Get! (She enters) Do women know about shrinkage?

Elaine: What do you mean, like laundry?

George: No.

Jerry: Like when a man goes swimming... afterwards...

Elaine: It shrinks?

Jerry: Like a frightened turtle!

Elaine: Why does it shrink?

George: It just does.

Elaine: I don't know how you guys walk around with those things.

[Gordon B]

"So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen, you see an eclair in the receptacle, and you think to yourself, 'What the hell, I'll just eat some trash.'"
"No no no no no. It was not trash."
"Was it in the trash?"
"Yes."
"Then it was trash."
"It wasn't down in. It was sort of on top."
"But it was in the cylinder."
"Above the rim."
"Adjacent to refuse is... refuse."
"It was on a magazine. And it still had the doily on."
"Was it eaten?"
"One little bite."
"Well, that's garbage."
"But I know who took the bite. It was her aunt."
"Well, you, my friend, have crossed the line that divides man and bum. You are now a bum."

[Cem]

[George and Tara are in bed. George reaches out for a sandwich]
George: Oohoho...spicy mustard...woohoho, you're hot tonight!
Tara: Oh, George!
George: And now for the trifecta. [Picks up a hand held TV and gets back under the covers.]
Tara: George? George? What are you doing?! [Pulls the covers off. George is eating a sandwich and watching TV.]
George: Pleasuring you?

--------------------------------------------------

[Monk's Cafe. Jerry and George.]
Jerry: So, the free love buffet is over?
George: I got greedy. Flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami.
Jerry: Yeah, that's what you did...I can't believe I got another session with Izzy Mandelbaum, he's probably makes me box a kangaroo.
[George eats a sandwich and gets flustered.]
Jerry: What's going on?
George: I don't know. This sandwich is making me flush.
Jerry: Oh no, I'll tell you what you did Caligula; you combined food and sex in to one disgusting uncontrollable urge.
George: I think you're right. You gonna eat that?
Jerry: No, but please tell me that's all you're gonna do with it.

----------------------------------------------------

[Elaine is visiting Vivian.]
Elaine: Vivian...
Vivian: Elaine!
Elaine: Hi! This is my friend George.
Vivian: Hi...
Elaine: I'm gonna go say hi to Jimmy.
Vivian: Ok.
Elaine whispers to George: You're up.
Vivian: Oh, isn't Elaine fantastic?
George: Yes she is. It's a pity we won't be seeing much more of her.
Vivian: Really, why?
George: Oh, you haven't heard, she's going to live with her grandparents in Redding Pennsylvania.
Vivian: Her grandparent passed away five years ago.
George: Yes they did. I was covering. Elaine has been deported back to Scotland.
Vivian: She's American citizen, I have seen her passport.
George: All right, no more lies. Elaine is been chosen to represent the Upper West Side in the next Biosphere project.
Vivian: I haven't heard anything about another Biosphere.
George: That's because it's underwater.
Vivian: This is insane.
George: Is it?
Vivian: Yes it is.
George: Well, it's all for charity, so what's the difference.
[Oven pings]
Vivian: You...very knowledgeable.
George: Well, I'm also an architect. Is that pastrami?
Vivian: Yes it is. I find the pastrami to be the most sensual of all the salted cured meats. Hungry?
George: Very.
[They kiss and fall down to the floor.]
Vivian: Oh, wait...[Vivian turns the TV on.] Oohh...
George: Vivian!!

[Ron Thorne]

Antonio, you were posting before 6:00AM, my friend.

While I realize that's not something about which you were unaware . . . Damn!

[Gordon B]

JERRY: (sits next to Sidra on the couch) So, where were we?
SIDRA: I was just leaving.
JERRY: Right, you were leaving.
SIDRA: I can't believe you sent a woman into the sauna to do that!
JERRY: That was an accident!
SIDRA: I think you're both mentally ill. (leaves, then opens the door again.) ......... And by the way...they're real, and they're spectacular.

[Gordon B]

DONALD: OK, HISTORY. THIS IS FOR THE GAME. HOW YA DOIN' OVER THERE? NOT TOO GOOD!

GEORGE: All right BB. Let's just play... Who invaded Spain in the 8th century?

DONALD: THAT'S A JOKE. THE MOORS.

GEORGE: Oh, Noooo, I'm so sorry. It's the MOOPS. The correct answer is, The MOOPS.

DONALD: MOOPS? LET ME SEE THAT. THAT'S NOT MOOPS YOU JERK, IT'S MOORS. IT'S A MISPRINT.

GEORGE: I'm sorry the card says MOOPS.

DONALD: IT DOESN'T MATTER. I'S THE MOORS. THERE'S NO MOOPS.

GEORGE: It's MOOPS.

DONALD: MOORS.

GEORGE: MOOPS,

DONALD: MOORS!