Memorable quotes from posts

[crawjo]

Did these people lose their f**king minds? How can a Beatles or Simon & Garfunkel song possibly fit on this list, when vomit laced ass paste like "Young Turks" and "Love Touch" are nowhere to be found?

These lists are good for sh**. It's ridiculous, because that miserable, rotten f**ker is getting away with everything he's done and nobody has the balls to call his paleolithic ass out for it. God knows we have to put on the kid gloves and take it easy on the pompous f**k since he's such a "historic figure" and all. Jesus f**king Peter and Mary, this makes me sick to my ass.

Larry Nagel, in the 50 worst songs thread, today 4/21/04.

[mke]

any interesting upcoming concerts in Belgium?
I have some frequent flier miles piling up and I would love to be in the greatest country in the world for a spell.

(Brotzmann Tentet, Mujician, Vandermark 5 post #5)

[Alastair]

Deke, from "To Burn or Buy (was Hank Mobley yada yada)"

Go back and read my posts, and this time instead of trying to disect them, try to understand them. Think of it this way. I am right. Therefore the problem is you don't understand what I'm trying to say.

[Deke]

Yes!!! I finally made it! I'd like to thank you all for attending my little show, and if I've brought just a little happiness into your lives, then it's all been worthwhile. Thank you mum, thank you dad, thank you Lord, and remember...

I love you all!!!!

(Picks up rather cheap looking award and majestically decends from stage, slipping slightly on third step from pent up emotion, wonders how people who get to do this all the time put up with all the back-slapping).

[steve(thelil)]

As the Godster is my witness (and Ringolevio partner, FWIW), I will actually provide rewards to those who find posts of mine worthy of being memorialized on this thread and actually post them here.



Never having enough attention,

s(tl)

[MRS]

Dorward: The Toronto jazz festival has worked exactly in parallel to the Toronto Blue Jays--everything went swimmingly up to about 1993 & then it started to fall apart rather dramatically.

EDIT: Sorry, post #4

[Tom Storer]

Ahem! Please post full attribution for quotes!

[Enforcer]

tippy, in the My Perfect Day... thread
I swiftly grab the rosary dangling from one side where the bikini bottom ties. I reach behind and then start lunging with all my might, over and over, into the margarita server's chest. Blood spurts into my face and hair. I draw my lower lip into my mouth and savor the salty watery liquid. "The lord is your shepherd" I whisper into his ear as the servers sinks to the ground.

[Enforcer]

We were supposed to go for a ride (motorcycles), I was supposed to lead and he was supposed to sniff whatever comes out from my pipes...

[Deke]

As the Godster is my witness (and Ringolevio partner, FWIW), I will actually provide rewards to those who find posts of mine worthy of being memorialized on this thread and actually post them here.

I think that's worthy of a mention.

[Pete C]

From: Mike Tyson Knocked Out by Tomato Can

I know he's a convicted rapist/human-flesh eater, but I can't help but feel bad for him....

[Enforcer]

Dr. Dave

After all, Bush needs to demonstrate that he's Loving The People. Letting a debauched wastrel like myself screw his daughter is just another way of demonstrating his Love for the People.

[Tom Storer]

Ha! Nagel beat me to it. But as I keep repeating, and at the risk of provoking prolonged and contemptuous laughter, please use proper attribution: the quote itself in bold, then poster, forum, thread name, post number, date. As follows:

I want Jenna first. After all, Bush needs to demonstrate that he's Loving The People. Letting a debauched wastrel like myself screw his daughter is just another way of demonstrating his Love for the People.

--Dr. Dave, in The Alley, "The Bush Twins vs. Kerry's Daughters," post #18, August-1st-2004, 03:27 AM (GMT +1).

(Note that I say "GMT+1" because the timestamps come up in my local time, which is GMT+1. I doubt Dr. Dave was up at 3:20 in the morning posting about screwing Jenna--although anything is possible with such a debauched wastrel.)

[Enforcer]

Burroughs scares the hell out of me. I can imagine during a night out on the town with Ginsburg, you'd just have to fend off his passes; Burroughs, I'd be afraid I'd have a syringe stuck in my neck before dessert.

--bostontricky, in The Alley, "the Ginsberg thread," post #15, August-4th-2004, 07:13 PM (GMT-1).

Following protocol,
Larry

Edit: I originally attributed this quote to Dr. Dave, who didn't write it, and deserves absolutely no more credit than he already gets.

[bostontricky]

This one still rings a bell. I usually use a "tree/roots" analogy myself.

I started with mid-50's Miles and simply went wherever the connections led me. Everyone in the music is connected, ultimately. That's one of the things about "jazz" I love, the tributaries are endless and seemingly infinite.

--stonemonkts, in The Alley, "Top Five Albums You've Never Heard, But Want To ," post #53, July-27th-2004, 03:22 PM (GMT-let Storer figure it out).

- - -

Special mention: Steve Reynolds, for citing 63 albums on the "Best record *ever* - final countdown" thread in Speak Out. At least we've got the canon listed in one place...

[john williams]

Stoner, you have a good life: I have this vignette in my head of you playing poker, gettin' high & listening to an endless supply of box sets all day long...I wanna be just like you when I grow up, man!

Cem, " Imploded with content" Post 36 August-12th-2004, 05:41 PM

[Uli]

My man fraknipop on the eai.20.0 tred, August 2004:

as far as erstquake goes...when is it?

right now..iam not motivated enuf to go to nyc...(lazy)
i like the lake anyway in summer....
mayb i will feel diffenernt later...

my interest piqued upon the pass out stories..
i think that i would LOvE# to pass out at an eai concert upon a sachiko m driving ...........
..................... sine wave ...................................

[Enforcer]

I don't have blonde hair, nor a big mole on my cheek. But that could be me licking the icing off your pastry!

jazzy mary, in The Alley, "I changed my avatar..." post #49, August-20th-2004, 02:18 PM (EST)

[jazzy mary]

I think this is my first entry in this venerable thread. Thanks, Lar!

[Pete C]

From "Jazz is Dead Redux":

I have no patience with people that bitch and whine that they're not back when Bird and Dizzy held sway. Unless they can invent Mr Peabody's Wayback machine they should either shut the fuck up or go jerk off to their Ken Burns tapes.

[Tom Storer]

The slap deserves a come-back in this society, which has grown way too rude and disrespectful.

- Gary Sisco, post #8 in The Alley/GOP Embraces the Swift Boat Pinochios, August-21st-2004, 06:02 PM (GMT +1)

[Tom Storer]

I'd actually like you to slap me, Gary.

- Ennis Snavely, post #33 in The Alley/GOP Embraces the Swift Boat Pinochios, August-23rd-2004, 01:20 AM (GMT +1)

[bluenoter]

Bush's handler's "compassionate conservatism" was a masterstroke of bullshit, let's face it.

It nearly equalled that more brilliant Reagan tv ad from back in the day that said nothing at all. It just showed a quiet, sundappled street in Suburban Anywhere, USA, where, one guesses since no one's in the picture, that only white folks live, and happily ever after at that. No talking. At the very end, the print appeared and all it said (in silence) was Reagan-Bush. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Millions of American idiots found it utterly soothing. And that's of course the main thing, soothing them, so as not to interrupt their pleasant life of grazing while the world goes by, like Holsteins beside a country lane.

--Gary Sisco, post #41 in The Alley, New York City to Bush: DROP DEAD! August-30th-2004, 09:43 AM EST (GMT -4)

[Dr Dave]

"Sex with strangers is not about tenderness and familiarity--it's lurid and goal oriented."

--by Tippy, #564 on "Kobe Bryant and Sexual Intrusion" Sept. 2, 2004, 12:39 pm.

[bluenoter]

Is there ever a time when a woman might, under various circumstances, allow her body to be used sexually for profit, pleasure or psyhcologically emotional happenstance?

--GoodSpeak, post #583 in The Alley, Kobe Bryant and Sexual Intrusion, September-2nd-2004, 10:57 PM EST (GMT -4)

To blindly broad brush anyone of ANYthing is sheer testiment to our collective insensitivity.

--GoodSpeak, post #588, same thread, same date, 11:38 PM EST (GMT -4)

I have consistantly voiced the concern of women rape victims and how incredibly difficult it is to bring them to a point where they will bring an accusation against an accuser.

I have further dismissed the notion that men, simply upon the basis of their sex, are not necessarily guilty.

--GoodSpeak, post #592, same thread, September-3rd-2004, 12:05 AM EST (GMT -4)

[mke]

Is there ever a time when a woman might, under various circumstances, allow her body to be used sexually for profit, pleasure or psyhcologically emotional happenstance?

--GoodSpeak, post #583 in The Alley, Kobe Bryant and Sexual Intrusion, September-2nd-2004, 10:57 PM EST (GMT -4)

To blindly broad brush anyone of ANYthing is sheer testiment to our collective insensitivity.

--GoodSpeak, post #588, same thread, same date, 11:38 PM EST (GMT -4)

I have consistantly voiced the concern of women rape victims and how incredibly difficult it is to bring them to a point where they will bring an accusation against an accuser.

I have further dismissed the notion that men, simply upon the basis of their sex, are not necessarily guilty.

--GoodSpeak, post #592, same thread, September-3rd-2004, 12:05 AM EST (GMT -4)

How can you call those quotes memorable, when they are not even comprehensible?

[Jimmy Cantiello]

Because, they're incomprehensibly memorable?................

[Enforcer]

I have no idea. After reading other threads, coming into a thread where you are holding court is like entering some bizarro, schizophrenic village where the mayor speaks in tongues and gives away all the best jobs in government to mimes, drunken teenagers and traveling con men who have managed to convince the school board to bulldoze the library and build a museum made out of graham crackers in its place.

crawjo, post #612 in The Alley, Kobe Bryant and Sexual Intrusion, September-3-2004, 12:58 AM, (GMT-4)

[bluenoter]

How can you call those quotes memorable, when they are not even comprehensible?

Because, they're incomprehensibly memorable?................

Yes! They're wildly incoherent, comically illogical, or both.

And the hits just kept on coming. It was hard for me to stop there.

[Sergio Zamora]

Yes! They're wildly incoherent, comically illogical, or both.

And the hits just kept on coming. It was hard for me to stop there.

He's like a David Brent/George Costanza meets Luis Bunuel.