Christmas Specials

[crawjo]

I thought this list of the "Ten Least Successful Christmas Specials" was amusing. I think my favorite was:

Bob & Carol & Ted & Santa (1973)

This ABC Christmas special featured Santa as a happy-go-lucky swinger who comically wades into the marital bed of two neurotic 70s couples, and also the music of the Carpenters. It was screened for television critics but shelved by the network when the critics, assembled at ABC's New York offices, rose as one to strangle the producers at the post-viewing interview.

Joel Siegel would later write, "When Santa did his striptease for Carol while Karen Carpenter sang 'Top of the World' and peered through an open window, we all looked at each other and knew that we television critics, of all people, had been called upon to defend Western Civilization. We dared not fail."

Although honorable mentions have to go to "Noam Chomsky Deconstructs Christmas" and The Assassination of Saint Nicholas, a 1939 radio special that reported that Santa's Workshop had been overrun by a Nazi blitzkrieg.

[tippy]

Heat Miser man.

[bostontricky]

Heat Miser rocks!

[Scott Dolan]

The most unfortunate thing about that list is that some of them are perfectly believable.

[tippy]

Heat Miser rocks!

f*ckin' A, righteous!

[Scott Dolan]

Who the fuck is heat miser man?

[tippy]

You never saw "Santa Claus is Coming to Town," Scott? oh man you gotta see it...get it for the boy if nothing else.

[Scott Dolan]

Hmmm, yeah, I think I used to watch that when I was a kid.


I dug the little claymation dealies. I just don't remember that dude. But I was usually fucked up a lot back then.


I do dig the Charlie Brown special, but just because Snoopy kicks so much ass.


The only one I truly disliked was Frosty. He was a horrid actor, and that little fucking rabbit really used to piss me off!

[tippy]

yeah frosty was anti-climactic for me. too nicey nice. Snoopy was probably my first hero.

[Scott Dolan]

Well, my thing was why in the hell did they have to cook up some horseshit huggy-feely story?

And there were simply too many inconsistancies.

Besides, boo hoo, Frosty can't stay with the kids cuz he'll melt. Boo hoo, the kids can't stay with Frosty cuz they'll catch colds.

I got your cold right here, motherfuckerz!!

[tippy]

that's right--luring those kids into the hobo life just to keep himself rigid? sick and wrong

[Underhound]

The South Park special featuring "Christmas Time in Hell" was the best holiday show ever.

String up the lights and light up the trees
We're gonna make some revelry..
Spirits are high, so I can tell
It's Christmas time in hell!
Demons are nicer as you pass them by
There's lots of demon toys to buy
The snow is falling, and all is well
It's Christmas time in hell!

There goes Jeffrey Dahmer
With a festive Christmas ham..
After he has sex with it
He'll eat up all he can..
And there goes John F Kennedy
Carolling with his son..
Reunited for the holidays
God bless us, everyone!
Everybody has a happy glow
Let's dance in blood, and pretend it's snow..
Even Mao Tse Tung is under the spell
It's Christmas time in hell!

God cast me down from heaven's door
To rule in hell forever-more
But now i'm kinda glad that I fell
'Cos it's Christmas time in hell!
Here's a rack to hang the stockings on
We still have to shop for Genghis Khan
Michael Landon's hair looks swell
It's Christmas time in hell!

There's Princess Diana
holding burning mistletoe
Over Poor Gene Siskel's head
Just watch his weenie grow!
For one day we all stop burning
and the flames are not so thck
All the screaming and the torture stops
As we wait for old St Nick!

So, String up the lights and light up the trees
We're damned for all eternity..
But for just one day, all is well
It's Christmas time in hell!
Get a toast together and make it quick
We've gotta make room for Andy Dick..
Wake his mother and ring the bell..
It's Christmas time.. [christmas time x3]
Christmas time.. [christmas time x3]
It's Christmas time in hell!

[cookie]

I'm a Christmas special freak.

The Heat Miser and his chilly brother the Cold Miser are from The Year Without a Santa Claus.

Often, the originals are good but the sequels suck. Rudolph's Shiny New Year? Sucks. They did a new CGI Rudolph recently (Rudolph and the Island of Misfit Toys). Sucks.

[Scott Dolan]

that's right--luring those kids into the hobo life just to keep himself rigid? sick and wrong

I think I'm gonna be sick!!

How can this shit be allowed on television??!!

[Scott Dolan]

I'm a Christmas special freak.

The Heat Miser and his chilly brother the Cold Miser are from The Year Without a Santa Claus.

Often, the originals are good but the sequels suck. Rudolph's Shiny New Year? Sucks. They did a new CGI Rudolph recently (Rudolph and the Island of Misfit Toys). Sucks.

Hey Cookie, were you down with the abdomnible snowman episode of Rudolph?

that was my favorite!

[tippy]

oh yeah, Baby New Year. Rudolph the sequel...how could they disturb us like that? That's the kind of chaos that steers people away from God.

Cookie, is right--it's The Year Without a Santa Claus. The Miser musical number kicks ass.

[cookie]

Hey, Scott, I'm not sure I've seen that one. Only the Shiny New Year one Tip and I are dissin' on and the new CGI travesty on ABC Family last week.

Last night, we watched Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer. My kids were laughing out loud. I wasn't as impressed but still liked it because it was a Christmas cartoon.

I love Christmas cartoons.

The Grinch is my very, very favorite.

But I like others, too. I like that one about Jeremy Creek (Dick Van Dyke narrated it). I also like the Peanuts Christmas cartoons besides the classic Merry Christmas Charlie Brown. They aren't as special as the first one, but they're fun and the music's still good!

[tippy]

The Abominable Snowman is from the original Rudolph. Remember he turns good in the end? Doesn't he even put the star on the tree? Scott clearly was dosed in front of that tv set.

[Scott Dolan]

Merry Christmas Charlie Brown. They aren't as special as the first one, but they're fun and the music's still good!

Goddamn right!!!!

[Scott Dolan]

Scott clearly was dosed in front of that tv set.

There was something going on there, but for the life of me I can't recall.

[Jason Bivins]

David Bowie and Bing Crosby, baby.

[kedoane]

I bought the 1967ish Grinch for my roommate recently and I do own the CD of the Grinch.

I am glad that I am not working this Christmas. If I was working the NBC side of things, then I would be sitting through a chopped up version of "It's a Wonderful Life."