The Definitive Jazz Snob Box Set

[Jazz Bug]

Is it true?

Are all those who listen to Jazz snobs?

What is the median income of a Jazz fan?

Must the Bass player have a goatee?

Is wine important?

Would you let a junkie sit in your house?

Would you open you door to them?

Funny how most of the heroes were the same thing, junkies.

Coltrane, Davis, Bird....the list goes on...

Music is music and good music is better.

The way the music was made really makes no difference to me, if it sounds good to me I will play it.

I have read that most Jazz musicians hold a BA or better. I have read that Wes Montgomery could not read music.

I'm all about listening to and experiencing good Jazz, good music that makes me feel good.

I could care less about who was shooting up or who had to be awake for their solo, let the music play.

I'm not a Jazz snob, and I have no intention of getting to that position in society.

We need to work together to get the opinion of Jazz to a new level.
We need to get the word out that Jazz is not all about big ticket prices and expensive suits...

Jazz is good music, spread the word-not the attitude.

[Tom Storer]

We need to work together to get the opinion of Jazz to a new level.

I respectfully disagree. We're not the marketing department of Jazz Inc. The musicians are playing, we're listening. If there are those who think this is snobbery, that's their problem. We know what's what!

Hit it, boys!

I'm hip, I'm not square.
I'm alert, I'm awake, I'm aware.
I am always on the scene,
Makin' the rounds, diggin' the sounds,
I read People Magazine
'Cause I'm hip.

Like, dig! I'm in step.
When it was hip to be hep, I was hep.
I don't blow but I'm a fan.
Look at me swing, ring a ding ding.
I even call my girlfriend "man,"
'Cause I'm hip.

Every Saturday night
With my suit buttoned tight and my suedes on,
I'm gettin' my kicks
Diggin' arty French flicks with my shades on.

I'm too much, I'm a gas.
I am anything but middle class.
When I hang around the band,
Poppin' my thumbs, diggin' the drums,
Squares don't seem to understand
Why I flip. They're not hip like I'm hip.

I'm on top of every trend.
Look at me go, vo-dee-o-do,
Sammy Davis knew my friend,
I'm so hip.

I'm hip, but not weird.
Like you notice, I don't wear a beard.
Beards were in but now they're out.
They had their day, now they're passé.
Just ask me if you're in doubt,
'Cause I'm hip.

Now I'm deep into Zen,
Meditation and macrobiotics,
And as soon as I can
I intend to get into narcotics.

'Cause I'm cool as a cuke.
I'm a cat, I'm a card, I'm a kook.
I get so much out of life.
Really, I do, skoo ba dee boo.
One more time, play "Mack the Knife,"
Let 'er rip! I may flip, but I'm hip.

[Dr Dave]

Well, for a long time now I’ve been aware
That like I’m alright but like the world is square.
So I’ll tell all you people you can take my tip
It does not pay to be too hip.

Now just last week I found myself in the red
With no way to meet my overhead
So like I went to my buddy
And asked him for some bread,
And here is what he said:
He said, “You want white bread,
Rye bread, pumpernickel, whole wheat
Cracked wheat, challa or bialy?”
I said, “Later”.
He said, “You mean three or four o’clock?”
I said, “Later”.
He said, “You mean Thursday or Friday?”
I said, “Forget it”.

Now I was feelin uptight, so like I went to see the man.
I heard he always had some stuff on hand.
I said, “Tell me, baby, can you spare some pot?”
He said, “You’re welcome to anything I got.
And I’ve got steel pots, brass pots, cast iron, aluminum
Pyrex, Winbex.”
I said, “Cool it”.
He said, “You mean put it in the refrigerator?”
I said, “Cool it”.
He said, “You mean turn on the air conditioning?”
I said, “Forget it”.

Now I was feeling strung out
And hung up and brought down.
There was nobody hip like in the whole damn town.
So I run upon a chick, and she was long and tall
And asked her would she care to ball.
And she said, “Football, baseball, volleyball, or basketball,
Handball, pinball, bowling ball?”
I said, “You’re putting me on.”
She says, “On the train, on the plane,
On the bus or on the sidewalk?”

I said, “I wanna make it”.
She said, “Make what?”
I said, “A scene.”
I said, “I want to make a scene!”
She said, “Shakespeare, Clifford Odetts,
Arthur Miller or Pirandello?”
I said, “Forget it”.

She says, “you know what I’d like to do?”
I said, “No, what?”
And she said, “I’d like to make love to you”.
And I said, “Go, baby, go!”
And she left.

[Shel Silverstein]

[clinthopson]

Is it true?

Are all those who listen to Jazz snobs?

Only those who have perfect taste


What is the median income of a Jazz fan?

Buddy, can you spare a dime?

Must the Bass player have a goatee?

No,. but his goat must have a good beat.

Is wine important?

No more important than any other mind-altering substance.

Would you let a junkie sit in your house?

Would you?

Would you open you door to them?

Only if Zoot Walks In

Funny how most of the heroes were the same thing, junkies.

Not to mention such addicts as Duke ELlington, Count Basie, Art Tatum, Dizzy Gillespie and Mary Lou Williams

Coltrane, Davis, Bird....the list goes on...

Shadrak, Meshack and Abednigo

Music is music and good music is better.


And there's nothing like a New York bagel

The way the music was made really makes no difference to me, if it sounds good to me I will play it.

But when you play it, does it sound good?

I have read that most Jazz musicians hold a BA or better. I have read that Wes Montgomery could not read music.

John Updike can't sight read

I'm all about listening to and experiencing good Jazz, good music that makes me feel good.

If it feels good, do it


I could care less about who was shooting up or who had to be awake for their solo, let the music play.

As long as they showed up in time for the gig

I'm not a Jazz snob, and I have no intention of getting to that position in society.

Name your favorite position

We need to work together to get the opinion of Jazz to a new level.
We need to get the word out that Jazz is not all about big ticket prices and expensive suits...

I'm working for world peace and to stamp out hunger


Jazz is good music, spread the word-not the attitude.

I wish you'd talk to my son-in-law

[Dr Dave]

The Complete Bumps Meyer Collection.

The Complete Tony Fruscella Collection.

For all I know, this one may even exist: The Complete Adrian Rollini: Master Of The Goofus.

[shrugs]

Is it true?


Would you let a junkie sit in your house?

Fuck no. Smack addicts are notorious for lifting valuables for the junk.

[Gary Sisco]

Yeah, I'd let a junkie in. But not out of my sight. I've only known one who was trustworthy that way.

[Dr Dave]

Wine is much more important than any other mind-altering substance. Any idiot can run a heroin lab.

[Gary Sisco]

Yeah, except for the hangovers, which are the absolute worst.

I've always thought that the Coltrane Complete Prestige was the ultimate jazz snob box. Two C's plus for countless blowing sessions. I love Coltrane to death, as we all do, but four or five of his Prestige dates are easily enough.

[Dr Dave]

That's funny! I got the Prestige Coltrane box as a gift for a donation to good old WBGO back when I lived in Joisey. I still listen to it quite a bit--with 16 freakin' CDs there's a lot to choose from. I admit I tend to skip over the sessions where John appears as a sideman with tubameister Frank Draper. But the sessions with Mal Waldron are super, and from disc 14 on I swear you can actually hear him becoming the guy who would go on to make "A Love Supreme" and etc. He takes "Rise And Shine" at about a million miles an hour and on subsequent tracks he gets more and more out there.