Would You Rather: the game

[sonic1]

Rules: to post you must answer the previous "would you rather" selecting one of the options made available; then you can post your own "would you rather.


Would you rather make love to Roseanne Barr or go to Iraq as a soldier.



OR

[graypencil]

I'd go with Roseanne .. PROVIDING she was retrofit with a Hummer Armor kit that covered every square inche of her body ( especially her mouth ) which was then tested with RPGs and .50 MM armor piercing rounds ..

Udderwise, I think I'd take the Iraq option ..even though I don't agree with the war.

Okay, heres mine:

If you were in an American bomber, and you were GUARANTEED of the information furnished you,
would you rather drop a daisy cutter high explosive bomb on:

1. A bus carrying Osama Bin Laden and all of his high lieutenants and panjandrums

or:

2. A bus containing DUBBYA, Rummy, Cheney, Tom Delay, Jerry Falwell, and all the other ethically challenged members of the christian right wing in congress?

[Dr Dave]

Surprising myself, I go with taking out Osama. The other assholes, most of them, can lose elections. But it's close. It's real close.

Would you rather live a life of complete and utter neurosis, totally uncomfortable in your own skin, but with the ability to predict events 24 hours in advance.

OR

Would you prefer to live a life of complete mental tranquility, like that of an idealized Zen monk, fully living in the Now?

[clinthopson]

Would you rather take your lunch or walk to work?

[graypencil]

Originally Posted by RBS

Would you rather:

1. Go ten rounds with Mike Tyson and be guaranteed one million dollar per round that you finish or
2. Make love to the ancient hag Lauren Bacall in every position imaginable for nineteen hours straight or
3. Face Roger Clemens during a major league game as a guest batter and get up there with no helmet on and call him a "washed up fuck?"

Door #2 ..no question ( I'm enough of an old fart to recall her better days ..and I aint no prize either )



now:

would you rather:

1. Rescue fatigued gerbils from the lils' nether orifices ..or:

2. Insert fresh replacements .. ??

( both operations sans gloves ..)

[Mike Schwartz]

I vote we make graypencil the KING of this game!

gp, you're killing me on this one:-))))

[steve(thelil)]

Originally Posted by graypencil

Door #2 ..no question ( I'm enough of an old fart to recall her better days ..and I aint no prize either )



now:

would you rather:

1. Rescue fatigued gerbils from the lils' nether orifices ..or:

2. Insert fresh replacements .. ??

( both operations sans gloves ..)

Easy. I'd want to insert fresh replacements.

Would you rather:

1) Have Robert Blake and Phil Spector as your only dinner companions for every night for a year, OR

2) Spend a month in Dick Cheney's company, having Dick lead you aroung on a dog leash, everywhere he goes?

[graypencil]

Originally Posted by steve(thelil)

Would you rather:

1) Have Robert Blake and Phil Spector as your only dinner companions for every night for a year, OR

2) Spend a month in Dick Cheney's company, having Dick lead you aroung on a dog leash, everywhere he goes?

Door #1 ..again , no contest .....

Now:

Would you rather:

1. Cram Roseanne Barr into a rubber cat suit without using any talcum powder and have her sit on your face ..

or:

2. Experience the finest vintage of Chateau Rothschild available, if it were served to you in a Coke can ..and you had to take a warm ,soapy shower with Michael Jackson afterwards?

[bruce massey]

Easy-#2

Not only is Michael my Bitch in the shower but I just might tag him for a few mill myself

This is a real one-

Had the same gym teacher for three years in junior high. When we swam he gave us a choice of punishment when we were in need of such..

#1-Take the traditional swat with his damn aeordynamic paddle across your thinly guarded ass or

#2-He would dangle said paddle about 6 inches above your big toe and drop it.

[Gary Sisco]

I'd fuck Roseanne *and* fight in Afghanistan, which would be a lot more interesting than fighting in Iraq. Arab societies don't interest me that much. I'd much rather ship for Afghanistan. My bet is that Roseanne'd be quite a thrill. Meat shaking on the bone, baby.

As for the choice of target from a bomber (one, you wouldn't want to use a daisy cutter, but never mind ....), there's no contest, really. They might be able to lose elections, but that's far from having to suffer any pain for the pain they've caused, especially since they're always far richer after losing elections than they were before they won them in the first place. I mean, when they won them and weren't just annointed by Scumbag Supremo. Osama and his boyz are small time hoods by comparison. It would be like taking out the bag man who hits the candy store while leaving Sonny Black to entertain himself as he sees fit.

[RBS]

Originally Posted by bruce massey

Easy-#2

Not only is Michael my Bitch in the shower but I just might tag him for a few mill myself

This is a real one-

Had the same gym teacher for three years in junior high. When we swam he gave us a choice of punishment when we were in need of such..

#1-Take the traditional swat with his damn aeordynamic paddle across your thinly guarded ass or

#2-He would dangle said paddle about 6 inches above your big toe and drop it.

#1 easy. Because #2 would really hurt.

Here's one:

Would you rather:

Go to Michael Jackson's facial surgery cosmetician and let him go haywire when you ask him to make you "Like Mike" or

Have a three-way with Roseanne Barr and Tom Arnold, both of whom strap on a nine inch dildo and go haywire on your butt for six hours?

[tippy]

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens

[graypencil]

Originally Posted by RBS

Would you rather:

Go to Michael Jackson's facial surgery cosmetician and let him go haywire when you ask him to make you "Like Mike" or

Have a three-way with Roseanne Barr and Tom Arnold, both of whom strap on a nine inch dildo and go haywire on your butt for six hours?

This is tough, but since the image of Tom Arnold with a dildo constitutes a very penetrating horror, I'd suffer the tortures of #1

now:

#1. Be stuck in an elevator for three days with nothing playing on the overhead speaker but Kenny G recordings ..and Kenny G is stuck in the elevator with you the whole time ?

or

#2 Slide naked down a banister that turns into a razor blade into a tub of grain alcohol ?

[RBS]

Originally Posted by graypencil

This is tough, but since the image of Tom Arnold with a dildo constitutes a very penetrating horror, I'd suffer the tortures of #1

now:

#1. Be stuck in an elevator for three days with nothing playing on the overhead speaker but Kenny G recordings ..and Kenny G is stuck in the elevator with you the whole time ?

or

#2 Slide naked down a banister that turns into a razor blade into a tub of grain alcohol ?

Ouch! Well, I'd have to go with number 1, since it would be over after three days. The other would grate on my groin for the rest of my life. Well, the first might, too.

Okay:

#1: Win an Academy Award for Best Musical Score and make a joke onstage about Clive Owen. Sean Penn comes on and tells you to get a grip and that Clive Owen is one of our best actors. You take your Oscar and hit Sean Penn in the head and tell him he should lighten up and you're escorted out by security. You've still got that Oscar, though!

#2: Have a great jam with Wynton Marsalis. You help him make a mint on his next cd and you get 50% of the gross profits. But your name is not even mentioned in the liner notes! Next time you see Wynton, you hit him in the head with a brick and get arrested. Wynton will forgive you and not press charges only if you sign a contract to work for free on all of his cds in perpetuity.

[graypencil]

Originally Posted by RBS

Ouch! Okay:

#1: Win an Academy Award for Best Musical Score and make a joke onstage about Clive Owen. Sean Penn comes on and tells you to get a grip and that Clive Owen is one of our best actors. You take your Oscar and hit Sean Penn in the head and tell him he should lighten up and you're escorted out by security. You've still got that Oscar, though!

#2: Have a great jam with Wynton Marsalis. You help him make a mint on his next cd and you get 50% of the gross profits. But your name is not even mentioned in the liner notes! Next time you see Wynton, you hit him in the head with a brick and get arrested. Wynton will forgive you and not press charges only if you sign a contract to work for free on all of his cds in perpetuity.

Well ..Door #1 again ..because I'd rather get the Oscar than even be in a room with WM ..

besides in case of #2, I might not stop with the brick.

okay:

would you rather:

1. Have a job of cleaning and emptying PortaPotties at a construction site ..in Houston TX ..in August ..when the temperature is 103F ..and the humidity is around 95% ?

or:

2. Have a job cleaning the chicken plucking/de-gutting /skinning machines at the Perdue Chicken factory in Ft Smith AK ..in December ..when the inside temperature in the kill shack is 20F ( except inside the machine itself ,where the festering chicken entrails raise the temperature to 48F ( and the consequent odor as well )

well ..inside or outside work ?

[RBS]

Originally Posted by graypencil

Well ..Door #1 again ..because I'd rather get the Oscar than even be in a room with WM ..

besides in case of #2, I might not stop with the brick.

okay:

would you rather:

1. Have a job of cleaning and emptying PortaPotties at a construction site ..in Houston TX ..in August ..when the temperature is 103F ..and the humidity is around 95% ?

or:

2. Have a job cleaning the chicken plucking/de-gutting /skinning machines at the Perdue Chicken factory in Ft Smith AK ..in December ..when the inside temperature in the kill shack is 20F ( except inside the machine itself ,where the festering chicken entrails raise the temperature to 48F ( and the consequent odor as well )

well ..inside or outside work ?

Oh, Jesus Christ. I'd have to choose #1. I hate the cold.

Now, would you rather have:

#1. Really bad sex with Angelina Jolie or
#2. Great, awesome balls to the wall sex with Carol Channing, who then makes you her bitch for the rest of the year and gives you your rent money for two years because "she's never met a lover like you."

How could you have bad sex with Angelina Jolie?

[bostontricky]

Define "bad sex". As long as it doesn't involve physical injury, #1.

Could you get by for the rest of your life

#1 without listening to any music whatsoever

#2 without reading whatsoever
(includes liner notes)

[Monte Smith]

Originally Posted by Scott Dolan

How could you have bad sex with Angelina Jolie?

You know the pizza burns you get on the roof of your mouth? You could end up with those on your balls.

[graypencil]

Originally Posted by bostontricky

#1 without listening to any music whatsoever

#2 without reading whatsoever
(includes liner notes)

thats a really tough one .. akin to " which of my dogs will I shoot? "

Originally Posted by Monte Smith

You know the pizza burns you get on the roof of your mouth? You could end up with those on your balls.

And unlike the roof of my mouth, I couldn't lick them every now and then to make them feel better.

Hahahahaha..............

[Mike Schwartz]

Originally Posted by Monte Smith

You know the pizza burns you get on the roof of your mouth? You could end up with those on your balls.

What do you think petroleum jelly is for????

[Lenny D.Guitarist]

Would you rather:
1) Have Kathi Lee Gifford as your lifetime co-joined twin?
2) Have a cauldron filled with swamp rats taped to your groin?
3) Be stranded on a desolate island with Pee Wee Herman, Kenny G, a Great
Dane in perpetual heat, Deep, a quart of valvoline, and Mini-me
4) Listen to an infinite tape loop of "You Light Up My Life" while restrained by duct tape in the missionary position with Michael Jackson in a Yugo
5) Drink a stew comprised of the loincloths of the top 20 Sumo wrestlers
in the world....

More to come later

[frankenmeister7]

Originally Posted by Scott Dolan

How could you have bad sex with Angelina Jolie?

Originally Posted by Monte Smith

You know the pizza burns you get on the roof of your mouth? You could end up with those on your balls.

unless miss jolie has genital herpes, she could burn a whole in your balls.

other than that, i will voice my opinion on a mans thread.

i wouldn't do a lot of what has been posted. maybe i am not following the protocol here of what i have to follow. forgive me all, this isn't the first time that i have not reread a particular post and jumped the shark.....but here goes -

to much stress for one thing.

1. considering the menial jobs that no person in their right would do, i do have some goodies.

2. work at a thai zoo and clean up after the elephants, with bag in hand in back of elephants butt, watching the droppings.

3. sitting in a huge room of programmers and not have an inch within the next person to stretch out for leg cramps.

4. playing socker with a broken ankle and a twisted knee.
5. being a coach for the lakers and have to explain a foul to some of the very tall players.

6. tell most female country singers that patsy cline and kitty wells sang better than they do now.

7. clean up after anna nicole smith and her toenail clippings.

8. cleaning the bed pans or toilets of all the elderly patients when they missed the seat and dropped their false teeth in the water of brown.

9. lick out the toe jam of the used shoes at a bowling alley.

10. wash all the jock straps of every football player who had a wedgie when winning a game and has the flu to match.

11. wipe out a diaper pail of a homeless women who has six kids and all under the age of 4.

12. clean out the toilets of the inmates at joilet prison who had the runs.

13. clean up an overflowing toilet that you dropped your keys in.

14. pick up all unwanted condoms in the streets of paris.

15. clean up after a pimp and prostitute that just had a heroin fix and vomited on each other.

[GoodSpeak]

Hm.

OK...I'll play:

-Would you rather wear polka-dot clothes or listen to Mexican Polka?

-Would you rather be a republican or just look like one?

-Would you rather be a teacher or just complain about them?

-Would you rather pay taxes or live next door to one of the AH-nold's parolees?

-Would you rather have a healthy environment or be rich because of it's misuse?

[RBS]

Originally Posted by Lenny D.Guitarist

Would you rather:
1) Have Kathi Lee Gifford as your lifetime co-joined twin?
2) Have a cauldron filled with swamp rats taped to your groin?
3) Be stranded on a desolate island with Pee Wee Herman, Kenny G, a Great
Dane in perpetual heat, Deep, a quart of valvoline, and Mini-me
4) Listen to an infinite tape loop of "You Light Up My Life" while restrained by duct tape in the missionary position with Michael Jackson in a Yugo
5) Drink a stew comprised of the loincloths of the top 20 Sumo wrestlers
in the world....

More to come later

That's disgusting. All of it. But I'd have to go with 5 because it would be over much earlier than the others. 2 would hurt real bad. 1 is just horrific. 3 is hilarious. 4 is repulsive.

Now:

Would you rather:

1. French kiss Scott Dolan when he's in the middle of an anti-liberla tirade because this is the only way to calm him down
2. Watch Angelina Jolie have a torrid affair with Naomi Watts in your bedroom and finally, just when you think they're done, they ask you to "join the party for awhile" which is basically cleaning up their mess while they raid your kitchen and steal all of your money and your significant other
3. Have a bizarre three-way sexual encounter with Rick Santorum and Bob Dole after Bob has taken six hits of Viagra
4. Teach a music course at the Learning Annex, where you face a hostile crowd who beats the crap out of you because you don't know anything about "light jazz."
5. Get stoned, eat seventy White Castle Burgers and throw up. Then do it again.

I am appalled by the rude language and the low standard of intelligence used in here. This thread is not music related, it seems. Moderator, can you please shut the door on these juveniles who are giving jazz music a bad name?

Yeah, Lois clearly stated no profanity in user names or signatures back when I had my avatar problems.

Don't know who this Baise Moix cat is, but I'd say his/her time is quite short.

I wonder why Rita didn't jump on this one?

[groover]

Originally Posted by RBS

What's that name of yours translate to, speaking of rude language?

My linguist friend translated it as "kiss me", but he could be wrong.