Livestock for Chelsea

Monte Smith · July-26th-2005, 10:38 AM

This story reaches us from Sky News on sky.com, Rupert Murdoch's outfit, you may all bitch that Murdoch is a reactionary devil and that this is a low blow and unbefitting and politically-inspired and yada yada. Shut up. I found this rather charming. You should be aware that the former President is currently on an African tour:

40 GOATS TO BUY CHELSEA

Former US president Bill Clinton has been offered 40 goats and 20 cows for his daughter by a love-struck African government official.

Mr Clinton was offered the deal on a recent trip to Kenya.

He was offered the animals as a traditional African way of getting a father to give away his daughter's hand in marriage.

The dowry is a very generous one by the country's own standards.

Godwin Kipkemoi Chepkurgor wrote to Mr Clinton through Kenya's Foreign Minister.

He said: "Had I succeeded in wooing Chelsea, I would have had a grand wedding.

"I would have invited South African Anglican Archbishop Desmond Tutu to preside at the ceremony."

The councillor gave the names of the former Kenyan president Daniel Arap-Moi and two of his college mates as character references.

Mr Chepkurgor also said he was also impressed by Mr Clinton's wife, Hillary, for standing by Mr Clinton during the Monica Lewinksy scandal.

He said Mrs Clinton acted like a "like an African woman".

Doc Martin · July-26th-2005, 11:02 AM

I see your 40 goats and 20 cows, and raise you 24 chickens.

Monte Smith · July-26th-2005, 11:06 AM

I'm all for romance, but somehow I can't see Chelsea settling for forty goats and sundry cattle. She went to Oxford, works in Manhattan. The problem with girls like that is they are high maintenance. I'm not saying Godwin Kipkemoi Chepkurgor doesn't have a shot, I'm just saying he should go into this with his eyes open.

Uli · July-26th-2005, 11:10 AM

I hear Texas Twins are a bargain.

Monte Smith · July-26th-2005, 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Uli

I hear Texas Twins are a bargain.

I had my stop watch going to see how long it would take for the Bush girls to make it onto the auction block. 42 mins. This place is so partisan.

Uli · July-26th-2005, 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Monte Smith

I had my stop watch going to see how long it would take for the Bush girls to make it onto the auction block. 42 mins. This place is so partisan.

what? mine was simply a free market comment.

Monte Smith · July-26th-2005, 11:19 AM

I hear you, Ules. I make no disparagement. The course of true love never runs straight. Every man must deploy his goats as his heart dictates.

Gentle Giant · July-26th-2005, 11:24 AM

Not exactly Indecent Proposal material. Still, I wonder what they would've given for Amy Carter.

Noj · July-26th-2005, 11:54 AM

Johnny Lingo knew Mahana was an eight cow woman.

July-26th-2005, 12:00 PM

Quote:

The councillor gave the names of the former Kenyan president Daniel Arap-Moi and two of his college mates as character references.

And in an extremely odd, but telling, twist, it seems that one of those "college mates" mentioned went by the name "Pumpy".

Hmmmm................

Lenny D.Guitarist · July-30th-2005, 08:06 AM

Bill Clinton is seeing how many cows(Lewinsky excluded) and goats he can get for Hillary.

vibes · July-30th-2005, 09:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Noj

Johnny Lingo knew Mahana was an eight cow woman.

The daughter of the woman who played Mahana was in my church congregation when I was in college. Personally, I think Mahana was only worth the horns and the tail.

vibes · July-30th-2005, 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Monte Smith

...I'm just saying he should go into this with his eyes open.

He'd realize that not only is Chelsea probably high maintenance, but he'd also realize that there are a lot more attractive women out there that can be purchased for 40 goats and 20 cows.