The Collaborative JC novel Preamble

[patricia]

THE GUIDELINES

OK.
Prompted by a tentative start by Scott, let's re-visit the all-JC effort at a story, contributed to by everybody who is a frustrated fiction writer.

There are Guidelines [not rules and regulations which are anathema to our free-wheeling, merry band of misfits].

1. Each contributer may post as little as a couple of words to move the story along, paying attention to what was posted earlier.

2. The direction of the story will ebb and flow, sometimes like a wagon losing it's wheels. It's up to us to maintain a certain structure.

3. New characters may not be inserted without thought to the story line.
eg. Don't post a long intro for a character who doesn't fit with the story so far.

4. Creativity is encouraged.

5. Gratuitous profanity, or gross detail is verboten. That doesn't mean that dialogue cannot be in keeping with the character's personality, but let's not get gross for no apparent reason. That will simply to turn off the reader.

6. Remember that even if a JCr doesn't contribute anything to the story by posting, many more will read than post.

7. This is a fun joint project and I'm looking forward to seeing what's going on in our collective heads.

[patricia]

CHAPTER 1

I was sitting at my usual table at my favourite jazz club, enjoying my second drink of the night.
The band was swingin' when the elderly couple came in.
They caught my eye because they seemed oddly out of place among the much younger crowd.
Although nobody stared, they all took note of the newcomers. We were all regulars and newcomers always attracted attention.

But this couple were not just newcomers. They were totally different from the usual crowd, a bit more formal, a lot more dignified, though slightly shabby, as if they had seen some hard times.

The man was probably in his late seventies and his lady was about the same age. They quietly took their seats, away from the bandstand, paying close attention to the music, talking quietly to each other.

I wondered who they might be? He looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn't place him.

I continued to listen to the music and glance over at their table from time to time.

Then my friend, Bryson joined me and seeing the couple said, "........

[jazzfiend]

"You may not believe this, Patty, but I just saved a bunch of money by switching to Geico. Let's party!"

[patricia]

Realizing immediately that my friend, Bryson had already been hitting the sauce, I told him that he had made a wise choice for his insurance needs. I then reminded him that he was already at a club, where the patrons were expected to enjoy themselves. He grinned, sheepishly as he scanned the scene, catching the eye of the waiter.

Just then band took a break and I was mildly surprised that the bass player went directly over to the table at which the older couple was sitting and sat down with them.

This further piqued my curiosity, so I said to Bryson, "...............

[jazzfiend]

"No shit? Wow, exactly how much cash did you save?"

[Mike Schwartz]

"Quite frankly with my drving record and DUI history, I'm surprised I could get a policy_at all.
Hey, that couple hanging out with the bass player; isn't that Mr. & Mrs...........

[jazzfiend]

"Isn't that Mr. & Mrs. Goodspeak? The ol' broad still has that single, unsightly whisker protruding from her Jay Leno chin. Man, I think I'm gonna hurl! Hey, pass me that bowl of...."

[tippy]

oriental mix. I love those spicy crackers, but damn why are the peanuts always so OLD. Speaking of old..."

[tippy]

get a load of the bald patches on that fox stole. Sheesh, it's 85 degrees outside.

[tippy]

Hey, did you just hear the woman call him "Little Buddy"?

[frankenmeister7]

ah, nuts!!


never know what to wear in this city or how hot its going to be.

[tippy]

Everyone in the club watched as Frankie, the club's longtime waiter who had been born with the start of a tail, approached the couple to take their order. You coulda heard a pin drop as the elderly gentleman ordered a Shirley Temple for his "ladyfriend" and asked Frankie if they had any...

[patricia]

..extra grenedine that she could have as a chaser?
Then the lady spoke for the first time. "Never mind the Shirley Temple. Bring me three fingers of Old Overholt and put the ice in first so that you don't bruise the whiskey". Then she lapsed back into silence while.....

[Pete C]

nothing in particular happened.

[patricia]

Or so it would seem to those who expect amazing revelations, exciting action, perhaps a body being discovered on the first page of a novel. But, this was real life and real life isn't like that. Stuff happens, but not all at once.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw the club manager walking purposefully toward the bandstand as the musicians finished their break.
He looked toward the couple and whispered something to Hector the cornet player. Hector's face took on a strange look as he..........

[Pete C]

died.

[Sergio Zamora]

..of panic as he recalled the last time he'd seen the old couple. It was in a club in Buffalo around 1973. A real dive. Hector wasn't playing that night, but he was around when the thing happened. The thing that stayed ingrained in his memory for all those years.

What the fuck happened to my goddamn thread?!


That angry piece of shit Rainyday can say whatever the fuck she wants about everyone here, but my thread gets shitcanned?!


Fuck that Lois, that's a bunch of fucking horseshit. Stupid fucking call on your part.

[Brian Olewnick]

"What the hell's that loon going on about? It hasn't rained in days", people wondered aloud as the bald fellow with the beard rampaged through the club. "Lois?", the lady asked. "Wasn't that the bartender's old flame?"

[Captain Hate]

"Yeah but then he met Tippy, who hit him like a Long Island Iced Tea on an empty stomach. From that point on Lois was history as the tip-jar took on a whole new meaning."

Still, the bald dude with the bad 'tude couldn't be distracted by mere sexual allure. Blood was what he wanted, and in no time he was howling again, "Goodie! Goodgoddammit, Goodie!"

[tippy]

And next..."waah waah, I wanted to rile up Rainy and Lois RUINED IT!!"

Shooting fish in a barrel, that was baldie's talent especiale, until he picked the wrong barrel of fish and the EPA had to step in.

[Captain Hate]

So it was back to the joint for the bald dude, which is where he first encountered the devious Goodie. Accounts vary on which one dropped the soap, but they quickly formed an alliance behind bars that ultimately went south as Goodie falsely implicated the bald dude for shanking a guard. The bald dude was ultimately vindicated (after he beat the hell out of everybody to recant) and he swore ultimate revenge on Goodie, who retained jmj to spring him by proving that those child-porn images on his hard drive had been planted from thelil's private stock.

Meanwhile the devious Goodie was living large, driving around in a convertible Chevy Cavalier, smoking Swisher Sweets, and blowing all his disposable cash on Tenderloin transvestites. But then a message came....

[patricia]

...from the club. It seems that not only had the laid-back ambiance of the jazz club, our home away from home been disturbed by the previous events, but, more importantly Hector, the cornet player, was not dead, as previously feared, but was merely twitching on the floor.

Although about half the patrons were distracted by the commotion, the others gathered around Hector. He was known to be a lover of the grape and the grain and often lamped out, but this seemed more serious.

Pete, who had made the premature diagnosis of death now ambled toward Hector, studied the situation and with the cat-like reflexes for which he is known reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and.................

[Captain Hate]

pulled out the schedule for the Chicago Jazz fest. Handing it to Hector, Pete told him "See if you got what it takes to hold your own in the after-hours sets at the Velvet. Ask for Uli and if he's impressed with your stuff.....

he'll offer you a spliff and then take you to the back room where keeps his surveillance monitors--dozens of them, all showing various scenes of Jersey City, New York, Tokyo, and Berlin. "My God, Uli, what's this all about?"
Uli adjusts his pork-pie hat and.....

[patricia]

...barks at Hector, "For God's sake man. Don't just lie there!! Uli is ready to offer you the chance to get out of this dive and there you are, disguised as a pile of laundry. Get yourself together and.....

[Captain Hate]

forget all that bullshit banter that Abbey and I go through at JC. You think I'm not tuned in to the eai stuff? Lemme tell you, when Keith Rowe farts I can tell you how loud, how long, what color and how many people passed out from the smell."

[Pete C]

"That's a gas," Hector replies.