May-30th-2003, 09:49 PM
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#1
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User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Below the line
Posts: 9,884
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What Would Jesus Drink?
My friend Jonathan thinks Jesus was a Zinfandel kinda guy, but Jon always was a smart-aleck. I think Jesus probably drank the equivalent of retsina, only maybe instead of pine sap it had something else in it to disguise the flavor. Or maybe beer? The Egyptians were good at beer, right?
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May-30th-2003, 10:45 PM
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#2
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Reevaluating @ 500k
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Here
Posts: 31,326
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Cel-Ray.
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May-30th-2003, 11:12 PM
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#3
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A-scan, ya'll
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 1,796
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Ouzo
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May-30th-2003, 11:31 PM
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#4
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: DC
Posts: 1,637
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Yoo-Hoo
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May-30th-2003, 11:51 PM
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#5
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Registered Loser
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The Altered State Of Drugafornia
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Manischewitz
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May-31st-2003, 12:27 AM
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#6
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 1,250
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Quote:
Originally posted by Sergio Zamora
Manischewitz
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isnt it obvious? the rest of you should be ashamed.
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May-31st-2003, 06:17 AM
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#7
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Santa Ana, CA
Posts: 46
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Scotch on the rocks.
__________________
[URL=http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheUndergroundBeat]The Underground Beat[/URL]
( ^_^)(^_^ )
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May-31st-2003, 08:23 AM
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#8
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User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Below the line
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I just can't believe that at the Marriage of Cana Jesus turned the water into Medium-Dry Concord Grape.
Pete: I hadn't considered nonalcoholic beverages. Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray seems like a natural. Of course, this also suggests that Jesus was from Queens, which leads down theological paths I personally fear to tread.
Last edited by Dr Dave; May-31st-2003 at 08:26 AM.
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May-31st-2003, 10:16 AM
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#9
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Guest
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Converted water, of course.
It's cost-effective, and it works (if you have the right year)
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May-31st-2003, 10:39 AM
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#10
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Reevaluating @ 500k
Join Date: Mar 2003
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The Cel-Ray can now says "celery soda," but back in Christ's time it was known as "celery tonic."
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May-31st-2003, 10:40 AM
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#11
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The big apple - North of the Core
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Holy Tang
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May-31st-2003, 11:00 AM
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#12
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Santa Ana, CA
Posts: 46
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Quote:
Originally posted by steve(thelil)
Holy Tang
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buahahahaha!!!
__________________
[URL=http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheUndergroundBeat]The Underground Beat[/URL]
( ^_^)(^_^ )
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May-31st-2003, 11:59 AM
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#13
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Metro NYC
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Jesus drank wine, of course.... whatever it was they called wine in those days. Probably you are right that it would've been more similar to retsina than anything "good" we drink today.
If he were here today it would come in a screw-top bottle, imo...
Of course, I'd like to think that when he turned the water to wine for the wedding at Cana that it was more like REALLY good Chablis. Raveneau, say... or Dauvissat.
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May-31st-2003, 12:09 PM
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#14
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The big apple - North of the Core
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Holy Tang (with a real cork)
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May-31st-2003, 12:50 PM
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#15
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We are the only reality
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: beautiful British Columbia
Posts: 14,522
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Well, I'm thinking that Jesus would have mostly leaned toward things like fig/banana smoothies today. However, I agree with hornplayer, that Jesus was probably a drinker of chablis. He seemed like a fun guy, if a little preoccupied with his mission, who would not have been adverse to trying your home-brewed beer, strictly as a courtesy, of course.
He seemed to be pretty mellow, except for that uncharacteristic outburst of pique, directed at the money-changers.
Last edited by patricia; May-31st-2003 at 12:51 PM.
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May-31st-2003, 12:50 PM
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#16
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: San Miguel de Allende
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"Jesus drank wine, of course.... whatever it was they called wine in those days. "
I'd like a glass of the Blood of Me, please.
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May-31st-2003, 12:54 PM
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#17
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We are the only reality
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: beautiful British Columbia
Posts: 14,522
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jazzooo
"Jesus drank wine, of course.... whatever it was they called wine in those days. "
I'd like a glass of the Blood of Me, please.
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LOL!!!!! Now come clean the coffee-spray off my screen. 
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May-31st-2003, 03:07 PM
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#18
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End The War
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 1,947
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He liked hanging out with the poorest of the poor and from my experience with the homeless here in Seattle it would absolutely be a screw off cap but definitely not chablis, probably more like Ripple or some brand of malt liquor.
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May-31st-2003, 03:46 PM
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#19
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Reevaluating @ 500k
Join Date: Mar 2003
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Posts: 31,326
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Back then grappa was cheap stuff. Those were the days.
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May-31st-2003, 03:51 PM
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#20
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Registered Loser
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The Altered State Of Drugafornia
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Back in the early 80's, when that song "Escape" was big, Jesus liked to go to singles bars and order pina coladas. He would then approach a young woman and sing the chorus of that song. I don't even think he liked pinas coladas. He kept doing that until around 87 or so. It was really quite embarassing, but no one said anything to him 'cause, you know, he's Jesus.
The polyester leisure suit didn't help any.
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May-31st-2003, 07:49 PM
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#21
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Metro NYC
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ROTFL, Sergio... now YOU come clean the Barbera spray off my computer screen!
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May-31st-2003, 09:04 PM
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#22
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Next year....
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The San Joaquin Valley, CA
Posts: 23,920
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Depends.
If you're an intellectuall and free thinking progressive Liberal whose best interest is served by other people doing well and being successful:
Red Wine.
If you're a nihilistic and radically leaning conservative christian/Linbaugh loving bombast bent on the destruction of the Democratic Party and/or promotion of rich republican and corporately sponsored political dictatorship at the tax relief expense of the People:
Whole Milk.
One Saves the other SPOILS.
Indeed...what WOULD Jesus drink?
Last edited by GoodSpeak; May-31st-2003 at 09:21 PM.
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May-31st-2003, 09:11 PM
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#23
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poor folk's child
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Chicago
Posts: 12,179
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Quote:
Originally posted by GoodSpeak
Indeed...what WOULD Jesus drink?
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ZIMA
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May-31st-2003, 11:31 PM
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#24
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User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Below the line
Posts: 9,884
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Jesus may have been into Yarden Mount Hermon Red or White, from the Bekaa Valley.
Last edited by Dr Dave; May-31st-2003 at 11:32 PM.
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June-1st-2003, 08:07 PM
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#25
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Reevaluating @ 500k
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Here
Posts: 31,326
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June-1st-2003, 10:37 PM
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#26
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Next year....
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The San Joaquin Valley, CA
Posts: 23,920
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Red Table wine.
Something which tastes good, but doesn't unjustifiably cost a hundred bucks a bottle.
Wine snot, He ain't.
Last edited by GoodSpeak; June-2nd-2003 at 12:03 AM.
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June-1st-2003, 10:42 PM
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#27
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Oakland, CA
Posts: 2,165
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Murphy Goode Fume Blanc Reserve. You can't do God's work if you are hung over from cheap booze.
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June-1st-2003, 11:47 PM
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#28
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Metro NYC
Posts: 2,718
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Quote:
Originally posted by RainyDay
Murphy Goode Fume Blanc Reserve. You can't do God's work if you are hung over from cheap booze.
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That's some good stuff, RD. You've got good taste!!
BTW.... he surely coulda enjoyed some Lacryma Christi -- either red or white!
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June-1st-2003, 11:55 PM
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#29
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We are the only reality
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: beautiful British Columbia
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I'm sure that Jesus would drink a nice little red, except on Fridays, you know, to complement the fish??
Last edited by patricia; June-1st-2003 at 11:58 PM.
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June-1st-2003, 11:57 PM
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#30
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Oakland, CA
Posts: 2,165
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HP: It's yummy stuff.
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