cronyjobs.com

[rollhead]

http://www.cronyjobs.com/

A Small Sampling of Our Satisfied Clientele:

NAME: Harriet Miers
POSITION: Associate Justice, US Supreme Court
SALARY: $202,900/year (pending)
TESTIMONIAL: "Not only did CronyJobs set me up with a faboo White House staff position, now I'm getting a life-long appointment to try out this 'Judge' stuff. I can hardly wait to meet that sexpot Ruth Bader Ginsberg!"

NAME: Michael Brown
POSITION: Director: Federal Emergency Mgmt. Agency
SALARY: $145,600/year
TESTIMONIAL: "I just love my FEMA corner office with the mahogany furniture and the perky little secretary. And thanks to CronyJobs, my Florsheim penny loafers have slipped in their last pile of Arabiac horse dung!"

NAME: Lester Crawford
POSITION: Commissioner, Food & Drug Administration
SALARY: $165,000/year
TESTIMONIAL: "The problem with being a Christian Taliban veterinarian is you rarely get to flex your muscle on human vaginas. But thanks to CronyJobs, I banned contraception that might have spared millions of slutty little whores the punitive agony of childbirth!"

NAME: Cheryl Halpern
POSITION: Chair, Corporation for Public Broadcasting
SALARY: $157,500/year
TESTIMONIAL: "Having overseen major Federal propaganda projects like Radio Marti in Cuba and Radio Free Iraq, I'm proud CronyJobs picked me to make NPR 'fair and balanced.' Who says donating $319,250 to the GOP is a thankless task?!"

NAME: Mark McClellan
POSITION: Administrator, Medicare & Medicaid Svcs.
SALARY: $143,250/year
TESTIMONIAL: "First I was an Economic Advisor, then Commissioner of the FDA, and now I decide which oldsters and poor folks live and die. If I get bored again, I think I'll swap CronyJobs with my baby brother Scott!"

NAME: Julie Myers
POSITION: Director: Immigration & Customs
SALARY: $122,500/year (pending)
TESTIMONIAL: "OMIGOD, like, CronyJobs is SOOOO AWESOME! After I helped Ken Starr crucify that semen geyser Bill Clinton, I got hired in the Bush White House. And I made coffee so well there, now I get to manage the 20,000 agents who keep America's borders as impenetrable as the boss's daughters!"

NAME: Joe Allbaugh
POSITION: Director: Federal Emergency Mgmt. Agency
SALARY: $145,600/year
TESTIMONIAL: "Rather than getting hung up on silly red tape like 'experience', CronyJobs worked hard to fulfill my dream: getting carte blanche to destroy Jimmy Carter's FEMA – on an easy flex-schedule that didn't make me sacrifice any quality time with my hair!"

[Doc Martin]

Originally Posted by rollhead

NAME: Lester Crawford
POSITION: Commissioner, Food & Drug Administration
SALARY: $165,000/year
TESTIMONIAL: "The problem with being a Christian Taliban veterinarian is you rarely get to flex your muscle on human vaginas. But thanks to CronyJobs, I banned contraception that might have spared millions of slutty little whores the punitive agony of childbirth!"

I’m an agnostic beatnik veterinarian, myself.

Salary: $165,000 that’s it for Commissioner of The Food & Drug Administration? I supose that gets padded out by “gifts” from the Pharmeuticial Industry and ConAgra Foods, Inc (purveyors of garbage since 1986, when they bought out Beatrice Foods) and the like who want to feed us processed crap and crap lite, which of course contains 32% less thiols (formerly known as mercaptans).

[claude]

I'm surprised by how low those salaries are (I also realize that they may not be all that accurate). I wouldn't do those jobs for twice the money they're listed at.

[patricia]

Originally Posted by claude

I'm surprised by how low those salaries are (I also realize that they may not be all that accurate). I wouldn't do those jobs for twice the money they're listed at.

Claude, I think that they are fairly comparable to ones here. But, I would also assume that these people's daily expenses are somewhat subsidized by cheap haircuts, cheap lunches, cheap etc. as they are here. Also, I would not be surprised if part of their salaries are tax-free, as they are here. If your expenses for daily living are lower, the actual dollars go a lot farther.
It always amazes me that I pay taxes so that my employees can live better than I do. I keep thinking, "what's wrong with this picture?" My boss lives better than I do, because he pays me. My employees, elected and beaurocratic appointments, as a taxpayer live better than I do. What the hell??

[Pete C]

Originally Posted by patricia

It always amazes me that I pay taxes so that my employees can live better than I do. I keep thinking, "what's wrong with this picture?" My boss lives better than I do, because he pays me. My employees, elected and beaurocratic appointments, as a taxpayer live better than I do. What the hell??

Your "employees" generally make less in their public jobs than they would in a similar capacity in the open market. If you want to pay them to clean your toilet you can pay them as little as the market will bear.

[patricia]

Originally Posted by Pete C

Your "employees" generally make less in their public jobs than they would in a similar capacity in the open market. If you want to pay them to clean your toilet you can pay them as little as the market will bear.

Pete, that's always the argument that politicians use when they vote themselves a raise. If some of them displayed, in their higher paying private sector jobs the too frequent incompetence with which they perform their government jobs, particularly those that affect out daily lives, they would be fired from their higher paying jobs in the private sector.

[Pete C]

Well, good luck finding a non-multimillionaire to take a public job with high profile and top-of-the-food-chain responsibility for day laborer's wages.