I'm older than Methuselah

[Pete C]

and Jesus was my contemporary...

http://www.poetryconnection.net/poet...al/-1000to1499

[Dr Dave]

Impressive!

Hit it, boys:

I was born about ten thousand years ago,
And there's nothin' in the world that I don't know;
I saw Peter, Paul and Moses,
Playing ring-around-the-roses
And I'll whup the guy what says it isn't so.

I saw Satan when he looked the garden o'er,
Then saw Adam and Eve driven from the door,
And behind the bushes peeping,
Saw the apple they were eating,,
And I'll swear that I'm the guy what ate the core.

I saw Jonah when he'mbarked within the whale,
And thought that he'd never live to tell the tale.
But old Jonah'd eaten garlic
And he gave the whale a colic,
So he coughed him up and let him out o' jail.

I saw Samson when he laid the village cold,
And saw Daniel tame the lions in the hold,
And helped build the tower of Babel,
Up as high as they were able,
And there's lots of other things I haven't told.

I taught Solomon his little A-B-C's
I helped Brigham Young to make Limburger cheese,
And while sailing down the bay
With Methuselah one day,
I saved his flowing whiskers from the breeze.

Queen Elizabeth, she fell in love with me.
We were married in Milwaukee secretly,
But I schemed around and shook her,
And went off with General Hooker
To shoot mosquitoes down in Tennessee.

I remember when the country had a king.
I saw Cleopatra pawn her wedding ring,
And I saw the flags a-flyin'
When George Washington stopped lyin',
On the night when Patti first began to sing.

I was there to help old Noah load the ark,
And I sheared off Samson's hair just for a lark.
So I upped and ran away
To the good ol' USA,
Where I raced old Pocahontas in the dark.

In the boudoir with dear Empress Josephine,
When Napoleon was nowhere to be seen,
It was then I played my part
So much better than Bonaparte;
Well, I guess you know exactly what I mean.

I was in the garden when Eve made love to me;
I sent Cleopatra back to Antony;
I was there with Pompadour
When she said, "Toujours l'amour."
I took Julia's clothes off on the balcony.

I designed the pyramids along the Nile;
I was friendly with the Pharoahs for awhile,
'Til they caught me playin' rummy
With an old Egyptian mummy;
That's why the Sphinx has got that famous smile.

I taught William the Conqueror how to fight,
And I snuffed out Florence Nightingale's light;
And Robin Hood was carryin' on,
For I was with Maid Marian on
The bed that I hid under for the night.

You can stop me if you've heard this one before
'Bout the apple too delicious to ignore
Adam said to Eve: "We're cheating,
if that apple we start eating!
I came by and I'm the guy what ate the core

Old King Solomon was very wise, they claim
With a thousand wives, he knew them all by name
That's because I used to list 'em -
With my alphabetic system
In my little book - each time he took a dame

Isabella sent Columbus with a crew
On a little trip across the ocean blue
But to me she said: "Hey, fella,
you stay here with Isabella"
I'm the stowaway of fourteen ninety two

I was on the shore with Washington, I swear
When he tossed a coin across the Delaware
But nobody has believed it,
when I tell 'em I retrieved it
And I bought me boots, they cost a buck a pair

[Squaredancecalling Steve]

Geez, in person you don't look a day over 1,500.

[Squaredancecalling Steve]

Great song, Dr. Dave! I've got killer renditions of it by The Golden Gate Quartert and Cisco Houston.

[bluenoter]

Pete--

If anyone here has ever perceived you as being blasé, they now have an explanation.

So how did that come to be? Is the webmaster a friend of yours?

[Sand]

Crimson flames tied through my ears
Rollin' high and mighty traps
Pounced with fire on flaming roads
Using ideas as my maps
"We'll meet on edges, soon," said I
Proud 'neath heated brow.
Ah, but I was so much older then,
I'm younger than that now.

Half-wracked prejudice leaped forth
"Rip down all hate," I screamed
Lies that life is black and white
Spoke from my skull. I dreamed
Romantic facts of musketeers
Foundationed deep, somehow.
Ah, but I was so much older then,
I'm younger than that now.

Girls' faces formed the forward path
From phony jealousy
To memorizing politics
Of ancient history
Flung down by corpse evangelists
Unthought of, though, somehow.
Ah, but I was so much older then,
I'm younger than that now.

A self-ordained professor's tongue
Too serious to fool
Spouted out that liberty
Is just equality in school
"Equality," I spoke the word
As if a wedding vow.
Ah, but I was so much older then,
I'm younger than that now.

In a soldier's stance, I aimed my hand
At the mongrel dogs who teach
Fearing not that I'd become my enemy
In the instant that I preach
My pathway led by confusion boats
Mutiny from stern to bow.
Ah, but I was so much older then,
I'm younger than that now.

Yes, my guard stood hard when abstract threats
Too noble to neglect
Deceived me into thinking
I had something to protect
Good and bad, I define these terms
Quite clear, no doubt, somehow.
Ah, but I was so much older then,
I'm younger than that now.

[Pete C]

Originally Posted by bluenoter

So how did that come to be? Is the webmaster a friend of yours?

I have no idea who runs that site. My guess is it gathers poems and other info off the web (in my case Poetry 180) as a way to bring traffic that will generate ad revenue. They have Amazon links, which will also bring referral revenue. There was clearly some human intervention, because they took my bio off a site at the NYU library, and made some mods, including a typo. I don't think anybody consciously made that page--it appears to have been generated based on birth dates. Since they didn't have one for me, I ended up with zero.

[Mike Schwartz]

I dunno, I'm figuring nobody is younger than 0-.......

[Al in NYC]

Damn, and a free dinner for two at the Olive Garden too...