Worst/dumbest Rock/pop song lyrics

john williams · June-25th-2003, 12:02 AM

Van Halen "Why Can't This Be Love?"

"Hey only fools rush in an [sic] only time will tell
If we stand the test of time"

BFrank · June-25th-2003, 01:31 AM

"God didn't make little green apples,
It don't rain in Indianapolis,
In the summertime"

Squaredancecalling Steve · June-25th-2003, 04:05 AM

Only In America
Land of opportunity, yeah
Would a classy girl like you fall for a poor boy like me

by two of my idols, Lieber and Stoller.

Even Homer nodded.

steve(thelil) · June-25th-2003, 07:38 AM

Daddy don't you walk so fast
Daddy don't you walk so fast
Slow down some
Cause you're making me run
Daddy don't you walk so fast.

Top that.

Jimmy Cantiello · June-25th-2003, 07:44 AM

Loowhy, loowhy, oh yeah, me gotta go.

Consider it topped...............

Gentle Giant · June-25th-2003, 08:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by steve(thelil)
Daddy don't you walk so fast
Daddy don't you walk so fast
Slow down some
Cause you're making me run
Daddy don't you walk so fast.

Top that.

Great, now I have to admit to everyone that I've always liked a Wayne Newton song. Thanks a lot.

Dave Barry had a column (more than one, I think) about stupid song lyrics, and the king of all was Neil Diamond, the one about a chair not responding to him. Can't think of the exact lyric now.

It's funny, in the shower this morning I was thinking of starting a thread about songs with nonsense titles, like:

Papa Oom Mow Mow
Da Do Ron Ron
De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da
Tutti Frutti
Who Put the Bomp in the Bomp Shu Bomp Shu Bomp

Gentle Giant · June-25th-2003, 08:58 AM

Ah well a everybody's heard about the bird
Bird, bird, bird, the bird is a word.

Boris Badenov · June-25th-2003, 09:30 AM

Gentle -

"I am, I said,
To no one there,
And no one answered me, not
Even the chair."

You're welcome.

Enforcer · June-25th-2003, 12:11 PM

I'm not certain if I could whittle my choice down to one song, but I could *certainly* narrow it to a single *author*: rod stewart (lower case out of profound disrespect).

For starters:

Oh no. Not again.
It hurts so good. I don't understand.
Infatuation.

He isn't the only one who "doesn't understand."

Larry

Jim Dye · June-25th-2003, 12:27 PM

My Name Is Michael
I've Got A Nickel
I've Got A Nickel
Shiny And New
I'm Gonna Buy Me
All Kinds Of Candy
That's What I'm Gonna Do

Gentle Giant · June-25th-2003, 01:41 PM

Grammatical fuck-ups:

Baby, I'm a-Want You (I am a want you?)

If you should find someone new
I know he better be good to you
Cause if he doesn't (should be isn't!)
I'll be there

Squaredancecalling Steve · June-25th-2003, 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Gentle Giant
Grammatical fuck-ups:
Baby, I'm a-Want You (I am a want you?)

What's a-Matter for you? You don't a-Talk Italian?

Boris Badenov · June-25th-2003, 02:15 PM

I think grammatical errors in rock and pop songs should be eradicated. "I Ain't Got You"! Really! That should be "I Don't Have You"! And "Who Do You Love" should be "Whom Do You Love"! "Lay, Lady, Lady" should be "Lie, Lady, Lie" etc.

Squaredancecalling Steve · June-25th-2003, 02:37 PM

One Monkey Don't Stop No Show!

bostontricky · June-25th-2003, 03:44 PM

Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!

Enforcer · June-25th-2003, 03:49 PM

In the desert, you can remember your name
cuz there ain' t no one for to give you no pain

In all seriousness, I think that America was responsible for the worst lyrics of all time. Their music was kind of cool, but they couldn't write anything even vaguely understandable. It was just babbling nonsense.

Larry

Jim Dye · June-25th-2003, 03:54 PM

My favorite (dumb) America line.

"The heat was hot."

Squaredancecalling Steve · June-25th-2003, 03:59 PM

Another song that was musically kind of cool but lyrically demented:

When I woke up this morning
You were on my mind
And you were on my mind
I got troubles, whoa-oh
I got worries, whoa-oh
I got wounds to bind
So I went to the corner
Just to ease my pains
Yeah, just to ease my pains
I got troubles, whoa-oh
I got worries, whoa-oh
I came home again
When I woke up this morning
You were on my mi-i-i-ind and
You were on my mind
I got troubles, whoa-oh
I got worries, whoa-oh
I got wounds to bind
And I got a feelin'
Down in my sho-oo-oo-oes, said
Way down in my sho-oo-oes
Yeah, I got to ramble, whoa-oh
I got to move on, whoa-oh
I got to walk away my blues
When I woke up this morning
You were on my mind
You were on my mind
I got troubles, whoa-oh
I got worries, whoa-oh
I got wounds to bind

Enforcer · June-25th-2003, 04:51 PM

"The heat was hot" ranks with my very favorites. There were so many to choose from.

"Alligator lizards in the air"

You don't even need to hear the entire song to sense the incoherency. Even an isolated phrase stands unintelligible on its own.

Larry

Gentle Giant · June-25th-2003, 06:44 PM

What do you expect from the group that gave us Muskrat Love?

Actually, I like their harmonies a lot; when I was a kid, for one summer "Tin Man" was my favorite song. Come to think of it, those lyrics don't make sense, either:

Sometimes late when things are real [real?]
And people share the gift of gab between themselves
Some are quick to take the bait
And catch the perfect prize that waits among the shelves [?]

But Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man
That he didn't, didn't already have [OK, I get this part]
And Cause never was the reason for the evening [?]
Or the tropic of Sir Galahad. [What's he got to do with Oz?]

So please believe in me
When I say I'm spinning round, round, round, round
Smoke glass stain bright color [?]
Image going down, down, down, down
Soapsuds green like bubbles [?]

Oh, Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man [There's only one verse?]
That he didn't, didn't already have
And Cause never was the reason for the evening
Or the tropic of Sir Galahad

So please believe in me
When I say I'm spinning round, round, round, round
Smoke glass stain bright color
Image going down, down, down, down
Soapsuds green like bubbles

No, Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man [Choruses: 3, Verses: 1]
That he didn't, didn't already have
And Cause never was the reason for the evening
Or the tropic of Sir Galahad

So please believe in me

In finding these, I stumbled upon this bit of explanation from one of the band:

Bunnell's "Tin Man" was released as Holiday's first single, reaching #4 in the fall of '74. The song was a return to the soaring melodicism of "Ventura Highway," and it reestablished America on the airwaves. Still, Dewey has mixed feelings about "Tin Man": "The song is jumbled in my mind--there's not a lot of cohesiveness. I had really liked the chords, those major-sevenths. It was up and kind of bouncy, with a little Latin-y feel to it. That's how it is: I get the chords and the melody, and then I have to get some words."

Bunnell unravels the lyric as follows: "My favorite move of all time was probably The Wizard Of Oz, it still amazes me how great that movie is. And here's my classic use of bad grammar [!!!]: 'Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man...' Another god-awful use of the language. But it served the purpose. But that was really the only cohesive thought I had. How do I convey that? The first verse--I guess that was a little bit of paranoia. We were being exposed to more and more sophisticated people, and there were times that I found myself with my foot in my mouth, saying things I wish I hadn't. The first verse is very ambiguous. 'The Tropic of Sir Gallahad' is a whole other image to me about being chivalrous or a gentleman. 'Spinning round, round, round, smoke glass stain bright colors...'--that's all just purely kaleidoscopic imagery. The melody definitely dictated those words, because it was a swirling, rising thing."

Dr Dave · June-25th-2003, 11:26 PM

From the Stooges "Real Cool Time":

Maybe go out,
Maybe stay home,
Maybe call mom on the
telephone
well come on,
come on,
come on,
come on...

Enforcer · June-26th-2003, 09:11 AM

Dewey is always saying stuff like that now to explain his ineptitude with the language. Obvious violations like using "ain't" don't bother me at all. What really gets me is the stuff where he wrote something he thought was clever but instead just sounds ridiculous.

"And people share the gift of gab between themselves"

Between themselves??? That may be the worst line in the whole song.

Larry

RBS · June-26th-2003, 10:48 AM

"Everybody was Kung Fu Fightin'
Them cats was fast as lightnin'
In fact, it was a little bit frightenin'
They fought with expert timing."

"We had joy, we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the stars we could reach
Were just starfish on the beach."

"Billy, don't be a hero,
Don't be a fool with your life.
Billy, don't be a hero,
Come home and make me your wife.

And as he started to go,
I said, 'Billy, keep your head, low-ooh-ooh,
Billy, don't be a hero, come home to me.'"

"Feelings.
Nothing more than feelings.
Trying to protect my
Feelings of love."

Noj · June-26th-2003, 10:59 AM

What is amazing is all these have been topped by really stupid rap lyrics. Imagine, there's so much more room for error in all that jibber-jabber...too many to list.

Pop music has also been producing some real gems of late. If I hear another R&B singer blabbing about her two-way pager and Range Rover it will be too soon.

Whatever happened to the clever lyric-writing, where the meaning of the lyrics could be taken in two ways?

How 'bout Lenny Kravitz' "It Ain't Over 'Til Its Over"--I like the tune, but quoting Yogi Berra for song lyrics is a bad idea.

SinginSumo · June-26th-2003, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Noj
What is amazing is all these have been topped by really stupid rap lyrics. Imagine, there's so much more room for error in all that jibber-jabber...too many to list.

Couldn't agree with you more except to add that gangsta rap is even WORSE!

***************************************************

One of many nominees for this thread:

Honey
ahh Sugar Sugar
You are my candy...

ARGHHHH!!!

john williams · June-26th-2003, 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dr Dave
From the Stooges "Real Cool Time":

Maybe go out,
Maybe stay home,
Maybe call mom on the
telephone
well come on,
come on,
come on,
come on...

Even when I was a big Stooges fan I thought these were really dumb and cringed whenever the song played.

It reminded me of this-

We're gonna have a real good time together
We're gonna have a real good time together
We're gonna have a real good time together
We're gonna dance and bawl and shout together

Na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na, na-na
Na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na, na-na
Na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na, na-na
Na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na, na-na

We're gonna have a real good time together
We're gonna have a real good time together
We're gonna dance and bawl and shout together

Oh, baby, please
We're gonna have a real good time together

Na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na, na-na
Na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na, na-na
Na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na, na-na
Na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na, na-na

Na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na, na-na
Na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na, na-na
Na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na, na-na
Na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na, na-na

Like the Stooges I have a certain amount of respect for Lou Reed but occasionally they do something that makes me cringe....and Lou should know beter than this-

An-an-and, i wanna hookywooky with you
Ah-ha-ha-ha, i wanna hookywooky with you

Then they take your pants, your money, your name
But the song still remains, sayin' -
I wanna hookywooky with you

Dr Dave · June-26th-2003, 09:03 PM

Hey! "Kung Fu Fighting" was Art with a capital A.

Having checked out the various excerpts offered here, I have to agree that America had the biggest commercial success with the dumbest lyrics.

Rap, I dunno. Do you realize that it has been 15 years since the first NWA record? 20 years since Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five gave us "Don't push me, 'cause I'm close to the edge/I'm tryin' not to lose my head/It's like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder how I keep from going under."

Like a lot of other popular styles, rap is just product now.

GoodSpeak · June-27th-2003, 12:00 AM

Dave Barry wrote a book on the subject and it is absolutely hilarious!

DAVE BARRY'S BOOK OF BAD SONGS

It's got 'em ALL.

moneyp · June-27th-2003, 02:57 AM

I second "Macarthur Park" and the fucking cake out in the rain. Still the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

Squaredancecalling Steve · June-27th-2003, 03:15 AM

Dumb? It's heartbreaking! Don't you realized he'll never have that recipe again??!?