Onward, Christian Liars

[Gary Sisco]

marching to the bank....

From Sullivan. Not the burningest issue of our time but I just can't believe these snake-oil sellin' motherfuckers get over so easily. Many more than one sucker born every minute:



The more you think about his claim to leg-press 2,000 lb, the weirder it gets. I know, I know. This is hardly the most important thing going on right now. But one of the ten commandments - right after the one about gay marriage - is that you shouldn't lie. A sports columnist, it turns out, has been on the case before:

That would mean a 76-year-old man broke the all-time Florida State University leg press record by 665 pounds over Dan Kendra. 665 pounds. Further, when he set the record, they had to modify the leg press machine to fit 1,335 pounds of weight. Plus, Kendra's capillaries in his eyes burst. Burst. Where in the world did Robertson even find a machine that could hold 2,000 pounds at one time? And how does he still have vision?



How many leg-press machines can handle 2,000 lbs? I've never seen one. Assume that he used 100lb plates - rare, but they exist. Ten on each side? Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry to say that a leading light of the Republican Party is lying to sell protein shakes.

[Slurpy]

God has forgiven him, why can't you, Gary?

(If that makes sense, feel free to send him your kid's college fund )

[Gary Sisco]

Don't have any. (kids or college fund.....)

God hasn't forgiven him shit. His forgiveness requires a sincere desire not to sin again.

Nope, he's going to roast in Hell for all eternity and that can only be a good thing.

[Slurpy]

Oh, I know. My bad sarcasm didn't come thru well, I suppose.

Down the hatch with the motherfucker, I say.

[Gary Sisco]

It did. Mine might not have, though.

[claude]

The cat is apparantly in pretty good shape for his age, but judging from this video of him "pressing" 1000lbs, he wouldn't be credited with any reps by any weightlifting sanctioning body. He's barely moving the plates and he's using his arms for assistance.

http://www.cbn.com/communitypublic/shake.asp

[Slurpy]

Originally Posted by Gary Sisco

It did. Mine might not have, though.

Err, lemme finish my coffee then I'll start all over....

[patricia]

Originally Posted by claude

The cat is apparantly in pretty good shape for his age, but judging from this video of him "pressing" 1000lbs, he wouldn't be credited with any reps by any weightlifting sanctioning body. He's barely moving the plates and he's using his arms for assistance.

http://www.cbn.com/communitypublic/shake.asp

What I found interesting was that Robertson's lovely assistant could barely "press" 135 pounds and there was old Pat, doin' 1000 pounds?
And he claims to be able to do 2000 pounds? My favourite part was his assistant begging him to stop.
If you believe that this is a true test of strength, then Robertson should have no trouble selling you his "shake". You too can get a gizmo like he and his assistant were demonstrating and amaze and astound all your friends.

[Gary Sisco]

Sarcasm's as hard as subtle to do online.

Many have been called but few chosen.

[Gary Sisco]

If I were her, I'd be asking him to stop, too.

[patricia]

Originally Posted by Gary Sisco

Sarcasm's as hard as subtle to do online.

Many have been called but few chosen.

I guess. But, hey, it's early.

[Gary Sisco]

Cat's so clearly and obviously a loathesome snake. How smart are his followers do you suppose? Duh? Wanna buy some dust from "Ground Zero"?

[claude]

I didn't know anything about this story when I got to this thread so I googled "leg press" and also found out that Madeline Albright claims to be pressing 400lbs. What is this sudden fascination with leg press numbers?

[patricia]

Originally Posted by Gary Sisco

Cat's so clearly and obviously a loathesome snake. How smart are his followers do you suppose? Duh? Wanna buy some dust from "Ground Zero"?

Thanks Gary. I needed a giggle.

Claude, I would be slightly more impressed if Robertson could bench-press 2000 pounds, or dead-lift 1000 pounds, verified.

[Gary Sisco]

I'll bet Albright can press 400 lbs. 400 lbs. of pressed ham, maybe.

[Doc Martin]

Medically speaking, I'd say it's definitely a combination of moderate exercise four times a week, the protein shakes, and a pact with Satan.

Or maybe hollow weights on the leg press.....

Onward, Christian Liars

Originally Posted by Gary Sisco

.....
That would mean a 76-year-old man broke the all-time Florida State University leg press record by 665 pounds over Dan Kendra. 665 pounds. Further, when he set the record, they had to modify the leg press machine to fit 1,335 pounds of weight. Plus, Kendra's capillaries in his eyes burst. Burst. Where in the world did Robertson even find a machine that could hold 2,000 pounds at one time? And how does he still have vision?



How many leg-press machines can handle 2,000 lbs? I've never seen one. Assume that he used 100lb plates - rare, but they exist. Ten on each side? Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry to say that a leading light of the Republican Party is lying to sell protein shakes.

I can't find the Christian nor the republican connection.

[Scott Dolan]

Oh my.

The fact that Franks is a democrat, maybe not Christian, we're to assume he was aiming for repubs and (bad) Christians?

[Scott Dolan]

The story is about Pat Robertson.

Originally Posted by Scott Dolan

The story is about Pat Robertson.

Oh, like Pat told the story, his rendition of a "The Lord works in mysterious ways" type story. Now I get it, that's funny. Too bad we can't throw his ass to the lions, if we still had those coliseums and things.

[patricia]

Well, I think that rather than demonstrating that he can push 1000, or even 2000 pounds on a legpress, a more practical and fun thing would be to reprise that old standard, turning water into wine.
I know it's been done.
But, that was 2000 years ago. I think it's about time it was done again.

[shrugs]

leg press machines have a place to put plates on top as well as the sides.
I knew a guy who would load the whole machine up and then get a person who weighed over 200 pounds to hop on top.
He could only wear those big baggy pants.

And if I remember correctly, a person can usually squat half of their leg press weight. So Pat should be able to squat 1,000 lbs.

[Gary Sisco]

He don't know squat, Larry.

[Gary Sisco]

Pat -- The one I've been waiting for someone to pull off again is the driving out of the demons into a herd of swine that then stampedes itself off a cliff. Lord knows there are enough demons to drive out and certainly enough swine to drive them into. I'd like to see that one.

They can keep the rest. Wine I can get at the store. Walking on water's a cheap Vegas show trip. So's the loaves and fishes stuff. You can have that in Vegas, too. $3.75, all you can eat, 24/7.

Well, I guess I would kind of like to see a corpse get up and roll away the rock but then Pat Robertson's a corpse and look what he can do.

And I always wondered whether Lazarus's wife and family might have been, um, offended at having their decomposing loved one restored to them. Gah! Put him back! Why you think they have flowers at funerals? Jesus Christ!

[Gary Sisco]

Maybe someone can answer this for me. Is there anything at all that mediates between Jazz BC's ganglia and his tongue?

[Scott Dolan]

I think his brain just formulates shit for him to say, and without further review, out it comes.

No wait, that's me.

No, sorry. I can't answer you're question. But at least there are folks here these days that even make ME look smart!



Outta the cellar, baby!

[Gary Sisco]

True.

Sad.

But true...

[Scott Dolan]

Awwww...........

[patricia]

Originally Posted by Gary Sisco

Pat

And I always wondered whether Lazarus's wife and family might have been, um, offended at having their decomposing loved one restored to them. Gah! Put him back! Why you think they have flowers at funerals? Jesus Christ!

As have I. Yuchh!!