May-31st-2006, 06:50 PM
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#1
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: California
Posts: 198
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Headlines From 2029
Headlines from 2029
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia , formerly known as California.
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the AmericanTerritory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more
years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
85-years, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. (Hummmmmmmmm)
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals, violates their civil rights.
Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political
contributions to campaign accounts.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
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May-31st-2006, 07:08 PM
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#2
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,939
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Rush Limbaugh dies from natural causes; found at home in bed wearing womens clothes.
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May-31st-2006, 07:38 PM
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#3
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Next year....
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The San Joaquin Valley, CA
Posts: 23,913
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by shrugs
Rush Limbaugh dies from natural causes; found at home in bed wearing womens clothes.
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...writes San Jose Mercury obit reporter Ann Coulter.
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May-31st-2006, 08:44 PM
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#4
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 8,644
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*****New Oil Fields Discovered On The Polar Ice Cap Brings Gas Price Down To $17.99 Per Quart*****
Last edited by Mike Schwartz; May-31st-2006 at 08:46 PM.
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May-31st-2006, 08:52 PM
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#5
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 6,026
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Mosaic reissues The Complete Kevin Drumm Solo Recordings: 1997-2006.
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June-1st-2006, 10:49 AM
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#6
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,038
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President Jenna Bush Says U.S. Invasion of New Zealand Will Bring Democracy to the Australian Continent
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June-1st-2006, 11:09 AM
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#7
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Registered Eater
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Monroe, Connecticut and/or Newfane, Vermont
Posts: 5,725
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Red Sox Still Looking for First World Series Title Since 2004........
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June-1st-2006, 11:10 AM
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#8
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Registered Eater
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Monroe, Connecticut and/or Newfane, Vermont
Posts: 5,725
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Rolling Stones Announce New World Tour...............
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June-1st-2006, 11:16 AM
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#9
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poor folk's child
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Chicago
Posts: 12,178
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15 of the last Knicks fans escape to Toronto.
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June-1st-2006, 12:00 PM
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#10
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Registered Eater
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Monroe, Connecticut and/or Newfane, Vermont
Posts: 5,725
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Crowds Flock To Ohio Beach Resorts On The Atlantic For Memorial Day Weekend..........
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June-1st-2006, 12:08 PM
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#11
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Six decades
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Capital City
Posts: 12,801
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Royals finally reach .500
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June-1st-2006, 12:09 PM
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#12
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Guest
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 Funny stuff.
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Originally Posted by Mike P
Headlines from 2029
...Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
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June-1st-2006, 12:13 PM
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#13
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Six decades
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Capital City
Posts: 12,801
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Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt tells parents to butt out of her life
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June-1st-2006, 01:10 PM
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#14
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banned
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 0
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Chris D
Royals finally reach .500
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June-1st-2006, 01:26 PM
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#15
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Registered Eater
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Monroe, Connecticut and/or Newfane, Vermont
Posts: 5,725
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Study Confirms Foods High In Saturated Fat Have Extraordinary Anti-Oxidant Properties................
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June-1st-2006, 01:27 PM
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#16
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Registered Eater
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Monroe, Connecticut and/or Newfane, Vermont
Posts: 5,725
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Roger Clemens Comes Out Of Retirement...................
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June-1st-2006, 01:29 PM
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#17
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Imagine All The People
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 2,930
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The Lower Manhattan Development Corporation unveils the redesigned Freedom Tower…
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June-1st-2006, 01:34 PM
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#18
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Imagine All The People
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 2,930
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Consumers Can Expect Retail Gas Prices To Rise
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June-1st-2006, 01:36 PM
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#19
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Six decades
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Capital City
Posts: 12,801
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Jimmy Hoffa's burial site may be farmer's field
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June-1st-2006, 01:38 PM
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#20
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No guts, no glory!
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,006
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Jimmy Cantiello
Rolling Stones Announce New World Tour...............
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...and announce some non-wheel chair seating will be available.
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June-1st-2006, 01:43 PM
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#21
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Registered Eater
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Monroe, Connecticut and/or Newfane, Vermont
Posts: 5,725
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Barry Bonds' Head Now The Size Of Rhode Island.........
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June-1st-2006, 02:32 PM
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#22
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,038
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Jazz Album Sales Now At Fifty Five Per Cent of All U.S. Music Sales
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June-1st-2006, 02:33 PM
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#23
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Kills all threads!
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Chicago
Posts: 2,217
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Hot Ptah
Jazz Album Sales Now At Fifty Five Per Cent of All U.S. Music Sales
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Oh, this is science fiction!
__________________
"The challenge of creative music has never been more important than in periods of profound unrest and realignment."--Anthony Braxton
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June-1st-2006, 02:33 PM
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#24
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Six decades
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Capital City
Posts: 12,801
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Karl Rove released from prison
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June-1st-2006, 02:33 PM
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#25
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,038
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Sopranos Stars Sign On For Their Twenty Fourth "Final Season"
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June-1st-2006, 02:36 PM
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#26
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,038
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Israelis, Palestinians Break Off Peace Talks
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June-1st-2006, 02:37 PM
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#27
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,038
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CIA May Know Location of Osama Bin Laden
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June-1st-2006, 02:42 PM
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#28
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2007 Stanley Cup Champs
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 12,063
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After a 23-year reign, JazzCorner's Larry Nagel announces his retirement from the "Most Often Right" post, calling reality "a bunch of bullshit."
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June-1st-2006, 02:42 PM
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#29
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,038
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Russell Feingold Presidential Library Opens in Milwaukee
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June-1st-2006, 02:45 PM
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#30
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,038
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Bill O'Reilly Dies: Forgotten Man Once Popular Cable Show Host
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