The End Is Here, Again

[Gary Sisco]

This is the end
My only friends
The end:

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la...home-headlines

[Brian Olewnick]

All I'd ask is that these folk, from their various isms, would set specific dates for the Apocalypse, the return of the messiah, whatever and then when nothing happens, have the good grace to commit suicide.

[Gary Sisco]

What amazes me is that every time it doesn't happen, it doesn't phase them half as much as the cancellation of their favorite sitcom.

And the next time the End comes, they start believing it again, regardless.

The dumbest shit in history, we're talking right here.

[Clay Fink]

A growing number of fundamentalist Christians in mostly Southern states are adopting Jewish religious practices to align themselves with prophecies saying that Gentiles will stand as one with Jews when the end is near.

The possibilities just boggle the mind...pass them chopped possum livers.

[Gary Sisco]

Kosher ham hocks and pig's feet.

[Gary Sisco]

Rednecks who stop cutting the hair at their temples.

[Gary Sisco]

Southern Jewish mothers.

"Y'all eat now, ya hear?"

[Clay Fink]

Originally Posted by Gary Sisco

Rednecks who stop cutting the hair at their temples.

Isn't that a mullet?

[patricia]

Originally Posted by Clay Fink

Isn't that a mullet?

No Clay. A mullet is that ridiculous hairstyle that does cut hair at the temples, but leaves it longer at the back and in a kind of semi-fifties pompador style at the top.

[lynn]

"In Christian theology, the first thing that happens when Christ returns to Earth is the judgment of nations," said Hagee, who wears a Jewish prayer shawl when he ministers. "It will have one criterion: How did you treat the Jewish people? Anyone who understands that will want to be on the right side of that question. Those who are anti-Semitic will go to eternal damnation."

The cornerstone of our foriegn policy in the Middle East?

BTW, End of the world - 2060 - per Isaac Newton's own calculations.

[crawjo]

God is going to come down, survey the situation, and tell all the world's religions: Each of you was exactly, exclusively correct. Thus, you all go to hell.

And then everybody will go to hell. That would be so sweet.

[Gary Sisco]

Needless to say, scripture says nothing like what these loons believe. Not that it matters. That's the trouble, actually, with belief. Nothing matters. It's just believed.

[Brian Olewnick]

The unblemished red heifer was a new one to me. I asked a co-worker, an Orthodox Jew, about it and he verified that there have been several such breedings done in Israel.

I've known several blemished red heifers, though...

[GoodSpeak]

Originally Posted by lynn

BTW, End of the world - 2060 - per Isaac Newton's own calculations.

I won't make any plans then.

[hornplayer]

Oy Gevalt!

[lynn]

Originally Posted by GoodSpeak

I won't make any plans then.

I can't speak to the accuracy of his calculations, even though he was and is the preeminent mind of the past 500 years in mathmatics. He figured the world to be about 9000 years old based on his study of THE BIBLE.

Continue to plan. I think there is a greater danger from our current president than there is from the end of the world. Now that's saying something!

[Sand]

Originally Posted by lynn

BTW, End of the world - 2060 - per Isaac Newton's own calculations.

Oh, I see, that must be why Stephen Hawkins said that we'll have to migrate to other planets in this century. He said something like that a few days ago. I thought he had found it out by himself and then he's just quoting Newton.

[Noj]

George Carlin on Religion

[Gary Sisco]

I won't have to worry about anything happening in 2060, thank goodness.

It's amazing how people have invented all of this rapture crap out of whole cloth. There's nothing in the scriptures, even, like it.

People'll believe all kinds of nonsense, though, clearly.

One thing I *know* they won't do, that *is* in the scriptures, very clearly, is give away all of their stuff and money to the poor and get to fishing for men for the Lord.

Rapture or not, hey. You have to draw a line, somewhere.

[Sand]

Wish you were here?

The Earth is now so dangerous that humans must find a new home if the species is to survive. That was Stephen Hawking's message earlier this week. But where should we go? Alok Jha weighs up the options, from the mountains of Mars to the acid clouds of Venus

Friday June 16, 2006
The Guardian

The MoonPros
· Great views of Earth, and it will take just three days to get there in the new crew exploration vehicle currently being designed by Nasa.
· It's made from the same stuff as Earth (it was knocked out of our planet in a violent asteroid collision billions of years ago) and is full of useful minerals that could be used to build shelters, help make fuel and oxygen, and generally sustain life. One useful Moon mineral is ilmenite, which could provide colonists with oxygen, hydrogen and helium.....










Interplanetary estate agents call on investors to ask for the moon

Martin Wainwright
Thursday June 15, 2006
The Guardian

It's happened to scrubby bits of the wild west, plots of rainforest and twice to the Eiffel tower, but two British estate agents have finally topped the weird property market by selling £4,000,000 worth of land on the moon.

.......




........

The project has been boosted by Stephen Hawking's widely publicised comments this week that space colonisation may save the human race after so much fouling of its original nest. The couple believe that canny investors could be the future equivalent of English aristocrats whose inherited wealth goes back to land grants from William the Conqueror. The difference, said Ms Williams, was that the market consists overwhelmingly of smallholdings given as unusual - or desperate - birthday or wedding presents, creating a highly democratic patchwork of moon-landed gentry. "It's great that lots of different people own little bits of it," she said. "Surely that's better than some giant exploration company getting up there and ruining the lot."

[GoodSpeak]

Originally Posted by lynn

Continue to plan. I think there is a greater danger from our current president than there is from the end of the world.

Good point.

Originally Posted by lynn

Now that's saying something!

It will be if I live that long

[Gary Sisco]

Typical thinking right there, genius or not. Let's forget about confronting the powers that be who are making the mess and fantasize about moving to another planet instead, where we can fuck that one up, too, for the same reason.

What this is, is science fiction in the place of religion, expecting the impossible to provide salvation. Either way, fantasy.

[Brian Olewnick]

Sisters lose second coming cover

Insurers have withdrawn the cover on their virginity taken out by three sisters in the event of the second coming of Christ. Essex-based Britishinsurance.com confirmed it had provided the £1m policy, but said it was reviewed on Thursday following complaints.
The firm said the women from Inverness had renewed the policy since 2000.
The cover was meant to pay for the cost of bringing up Christ if one of them has a virgin birth.
Britishinsurance.com managing director Simon Burgess said it had not been the company's intention to offend anyone.





The company, which is based in Braintree, specialises in accident and unemployment insurance.
Mr Burgess said: "The people were concerned about having sufficient funds if they immaculately conceived. It was for caring and bringing up the Christ.
"We sometimes get weird requests and this is the weirdest we have had."

Burden of proof
The burden of proof that it was Christ had rested with the women and any premium on the insurance was donated to charity, said Mr Burgess.
The siblings had paid £100 annually since 2000. If they had secured a payout, they stood to receive £1m.
He added: "The Catholic Church is up in arms about what we've been doing. We have withdrawn the cover because it was causing a furore.
"The three ladies have been informed."
The women, who have not been identified, are believed to be members of a Christian group in Inverness.
Britishinsurance.com said it was authorised and regulated by the Financial Services Authority and is a member of the Finance Industry Standards Association.
The Catholic Church in Scotland declined to comment.


Story from BBC NEWS:

[Clay Fink]

http://www.jesusdressup.com/chillinvillians.html

[Gary Sisco]

You have to wonder, I swear. Do Christians even read the Bible? Where would they get any kind of notion that there'd be more than one virgin birth? How many messiahs do they think they get anyway?

[Brian Olewnick]

Originally Posted by Gary Sisco

You have to wonder, I swear. Do Christians even read the Bible? Where would they get any kind of notion that there'd be more than one virgin birth? How many messiahs do they think they get anyway?

Gary, Gary, Gary....

Jesus is coming again. The common conception is that he'll arrive as an adult, picking up where he left off (sans stigmata, one hopes). But that might very well not be the case. You have to figure that, with vastly increased media opportunities Christ Inc. will want to milk this baby as long as possible. You think Brad and Angelina's kid's pix got some play? Just you wait....

[Gary Sisco]

I'm waiting for the monstrous beings and such as in Revelations, and the huge wars and so forth. Let's not forget he comes to bring not peace but the motherfucking sword.

I'm also anxiously awaiting watching the judgement when all kind of Christians who thought he was kidding about the eye of the needle find out -- hey -- he wasn't! Ha ha ha!

Hey, how come the poor gay guy gets to go to heaven! Not fair, not fair!

[Slurpy]

The end is here?! Good enuf excuse for me to get out of mowing the grass this weekend.

[Gary Sisco]

Follow me and be mowers of men.

[Slurpy]

Originally Posted by Gary Sisco

Follow me and be mowers of men.

You say you want a revolution? Well, you know, I'm down.