Masturbators Against Prostate Cancer

Vince Kargatis · July-16th-2003, 02:41 PM

Yahoo! Cancer free baby!! I'm home free! :)

Quote:

LONDON (Reuters) - Frequent masturbation, particularly in the 20s, helps prevent prostate cancer later in life, according to new research.

Chris D · July-16th-2003, 02:43 PM

That was my thinking, definitely.

shrugs · July-16th-2003, 02:54 PM

A guy on my first submarine used to always say "masturbation is the key". He must have known something about this!

Clay Fink · July-16th-2003, 03:01 PM

Thank god!!

Uli · July-16th-2003, 03:02 PM

"They suspect that frequent ejaculation has a protective effect against the cancer because it prevents dangerous carcinogens from building up in the gland."

I am glad to hear that apparently makin whoppee gets you home free too.

iirc my wet dreams lasted into the 20ies.

Vince Kargatis · July-16th-2003, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Uli
I am glad to hear that apparently makin whoppee gets you home free too.

Well, they do specify 5+ ejaculations a week. Here's to your powers of persuasion, if you're getting that much action!!

Sergio Zamora · July-16th-2003, 03:44 PM

...so I got that going for me.

Monte Smith · July-16th-2003, 03:55 PM

Good lord. Between the red wine and the jerking off, I'm a health nut.

shrugs · July-16th-2003, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Monte Smith
Good lord. Between the red wine and the jerking off, I'm a health nut.

Throw in some dark beer and cook with garlic and you'll live a long life.

Jazzooo · July-16th-2003, 04:13 PM

Well, the whole thread had me laughing, but Monte made me laugh out loud!

I had chronic prostate infections in my 20s and the docs always recommended 5 ejaculations a week--the problem was that when you have a prostate infection, that's the last thing on a normal man's mind.

Not being a normal man, though...

Monte Smith · July-16th-2003, 04:15 PM

Was there any comparable research done into the health impact of posting online with one hand up your butt? Or is Steve(thelil)'s advocacy for said regimen mere pseudoscience?

Ron Thorne · July-16th-2003, 04:49 PM

Yahoo! Damn, but this testifies to the fact that teenaged boys get a few things right, afterall.

HenryMc · July-16th-2003, 04:51 PM

so the boffins have noticed what we've long suspected
that which at thirteen guys did in bathrooms undetected
that despite fulfilling some deep seated need
there was merit in spilling seed
the studies say the optimum is five times a week
that's the standard we should seek
of course there'll be some who go all the way
and do it five times a day!!

Joe Milazzo · July-16th-2003, 04:56 PM

Quote:

"Men have many ways of using their prostate which don't involve women or other men," he added.

Isn't unintentional comedy great?

steve(thelil) · July-16th-2003, 05:34 PM

Thanks for asking, Monte (and congrats on the great health news!):

The medical research is both good news and bad.

My butt should benefit from reduced cancer risks.

My hand should fall off soon.

Sergio Zamora · July-16th-2003, 05:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ron Thorne
Yahoo! Damn, but this testifies to the fact that teenaged boys get a few things right, afterall.

Yeah, teenaged boys.

steve(thelil) · July-16th-2003, 05:52 PM

I dunno. One thing teenaged boys don't do is masturbate in their 20's.

Pete C · July-16th-2003, 10:59 PM

Have there been any studies on carpal tunnel syndrome?

Vince Kargatis · July-17th-2003, 06:21 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Pete C
Have there been any studies on carpal tunnel syndrome?

Heh, reminds me of a scene in the fun erotic SF novel The Fermata by Nicholson Baker, the story of a voyeur who has the power to stop time and move within it, and basically uses it to undress women. He starts getting CTS because of all the typing (the book's his autobiography) and masturbating he's doing, and goes to a research doctor for a live-action MRI-monitored masturbation episode to monitor how the carpal nerves react. :) Pretty amusing.

Clay Fink · July-17th-2003, 09:13 AM

What would Jesus do?

Pete C · July-17th-2003, 09:25 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Clay Fink
What would Jesus do?

I have no idea. But a Google image search for Onan came up with this:

john williams · July-17th-2003, 09:27 AM

This is definitely the best news I have heard all week!

Grub · July-17th-2003, 09:31 AM

Do you reckon we might be able to get 'Club International and Hustler' on prescription then?

Pete C · July-17th-2003, 09:44 AM

GUY TALK (to the tune of Girl Talk)

They like to chat about the cancers they'll avoid today,
they chew the fat about their schlongs and what the doctors say.
The kinds of things about which women just don't care to know
become essential things that all men find so "apropos".
But that's a guy, they're never shy,
It's not a lie, they call it guy talk, guy talk.

They always post about the ups and downs of glands and hands,
the "who", the "how", the "why", they share it ALL, it never ends.
The cruder sex, the ruder sex that normal gals behold
but though they choke they wouldn't trade us for a ton of gold.
So guys let's stay and post away,
but hear me say that after guy talk, back to jazz.

Monte Smith · July-17th-2003, 09:49 AM

Hey wait. Does this mean that thinking about baseball causes cancer?

Pete C · July-17th-2003, 11:07 AM

But why here?

Tanager · July-17th-2003, 11:11 AM

Me to boss: "I'm not looking at porn, I'm preventing cancer."

Monte Smith · July-17th-2003, 11:30 AM

Practical question: to get the best possible benefits of cancer-prevention, is it recommended to jerk off regularly over time or would it be preferable to do it a lot all at once, i.e. in one big spurt?

Vince Kargatis · July-17th-2003, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tanager
Me to boss: "I'm not looking at porn, I'm preventing cancer."

"...and keeping down company health insurance costs!" - Brilliant!

Monte, regularly, of course - the goal is low-toxin-level maintenance, recall.

Seriously, on the "20s" bit - it appears that one's 20s are the cancer-deciding decade. I recall one big study last year that also localized the 20s (by noting cancer differences correlating to ages when immigrants entered a country [afterwards statistically sharing similar environments]) as the operative period which determined cancer risk much later in life.

Monte Smith · July-17th-2003, 11:59 AM

To those who are slow to take their health in their own hands (groan), this is license to become a veritable private practitioner (groan). I'm gonna stop. Masturbation is fine, but I think the sheer weight of double entendres is making my palms hairy.