Kick in the gut

[jesus marion joseph]

Wednesday I got a call from my sister in TX that our mother was in the hospital. Apparently she had seziures and stroke-like symptoms at work. She works at a medical office, so they were pretty quick to recognize the seriousness of her symptoms. An inital CT scan showed something on her brain, but the doctors weren't sure if it was a growth or stroke-related damage. She was transferred to another hospital, where they did an MRI, and opined that she had suffered a "silent stroke".

Yesterday she was seen by a specialist, and last night I was told that he diagnosed her with a non-operative malignant brain tumor, apparently one that will grow quickly and aggressively, and has been growing for several years, even though ti's pretty small. Prognosis is anywhere from a couple of months to a couple of years.

As I type this she is having a biopsy of the growth, at her request, as apparently the specialist feels certain of the diagnosis and doesn't feel it's necessary. I'm flying down there tomorrow with my younger brother, and we're meeting my older brother there. Our sister lives in the Austin area, so she's been at the hospital with mom, talking to the doctors, keeping us updated, etc. As of last night my mother was "not ready to talk to the boys".

Needless to say, the news has been devastating. I suppose there's a chance that the diagnosis might be wrong, or it may be operable, but things are looking pretty grim right now.

[Brian Olewnick]

Terrible stuff. I hope all goes as well as possible.

[moneyp]

My thoughts are with you, your mom and your family, JMJ. Cancer is a bitch, not only on the afflicted, but to those around them as well. Here's to hoping the specialist was dead wrong.

[Monte Smith]

A kick in the gut, indeed. You'll be in my prayers, JMJ, and your mom, too.

[claude]

Shit, sorry to hear about that JMJ. Hopefully the specialist was indeed wrong.

[Gary Sisco]

Oh, man. I'm very sorry, JMJ. What a terrible blow.

[Root Doctor]

I'm sorry to hear about this horrible news, John. You and your family are in my thoughts.

[Douglas]

This is terrible news. My thoughts are with you.

[Scott Dolan]

You have my deepest sympathy, my friend.

[groover]

deepest sympathies, jmj.

You may want to check out this book:



Cancer - Step Outside the Box (Paperback)
by Ty, M Bollinger

I haven't yet read it myself, but the reviews on Amazon are very positive.

[walto]

Sorry, mate. Hope things get better.

[Chris D]

Strength to you, jmj. My mom had invasive brain cancer, also inoperable. Her diagnosis originally was 3 months, but she was with us for two more years.

[steve(thelil)]

What horrendous news. Things might turn out better than it now seems, but "Kick in the Gut" nails it. My best wishes are with you.

[Canuck Don]

Very sorry to hear of your dear Ma's condition.It's never pleasant to hear bad news re: our loved ones. Everyone is effected by it .My 86 year old Ma has been bed ridden the last 2 months..and not in good shape at all. Everytime the phone rings I think it's my Sister calling me telling me Ma has left us..This is life and I understand that..but it doesn't make it easier on the one that has a serious med. problem or the loved ones around that person.
We all have to just bite our lip and hope for the best for we have no control over what happens.Stay in touch with your Ma daily if possible..by phone or in person if you can.Again I'm sorry to hear news like this.I could understand why she is not talking right now..It's very shocking for a person to hear news like this..Most people go in a state of big time depression or I have seen the opposite. Go in total denial . All the years I was an ambulance attendant I saw so much of this and in my own Family .Hang in there

[Gentle Giant]

Kudos to your mother for requesting the biopsy. Doctors are too quick to close the book on a bad scenario and move on to their next case. Don't take anything for granted and don't exhaust any possibility. There are people who fight and win against the longest of odds, and attitude has a lot to do with it. Most of all, even though she may not yet be ready to accept the support of her family, she won't be alone and she knows it, and that will give her strength.

My thoughts are prayers are with you and your mother, and I'll think about her at temple tonight (I'm sure if I just say "JMJ's mom" the Big Guy will know who I'm talking about).

FWIW, my grandmother had an inoperable tumor in her brain, but that was 23 years ago so there's every reason to think your mother's outcome could be different.

[Gerardo A]

Very sorry to hear that, JMJ. I wish strength and send my best wishes to you and your family.

[jesus marion joseph]

They're hoping to have the biopsy results later today. According to the latest info from my sis, the doctor stated that they would only take the smallest sample they could for the biopsy, since they run the risk of aggrevating the tumor and actually causing it to grow faster.

I would love to be able to get her into Mass. General for another opinion, but I don't know how realistic that is. I imagine that every family immediately wants to have another opinion in a situation like this.

I'm not an active churchgoer, but I appreciate everyone's thoughts and prayers (and yes, GG, I think the big guy will know *exactly* who "jmj's mom" is!).

[patricia]

Don't give up, JMJ.

[Noj]

I hope for the best for you, JMJ.

[tippy]

I am truly sorry to hear this, JMJ, and don't know what else to say to you at this moment but that you and your family are in my thoughts and I am hoping for the best for your mother's situation.

[hornplayer]

I'm so sorry, JMJ. Words seem so useless in a situation like this.

I'll be holding your family in my prayers, and hoping for the best.

[jazzy mary]

jmj, good luck to you. I echo Patricia's advice "don't give up". As hard as it may be, think positively. Everyone here is thinking and pulling for you & your mom.

[Coda]

JMJ, my prayers are with you too.

My mom has cancer - all in remission now. I firmly believe that she's still alive because she wouldn't take shit from any doctor. She went for the 2nd opinions, overruled the doc's recommendations, forced the insurance company to pay for additional tests, etc. Breast, lung, and uterus cancer. Heart attack from brittle arteries after the radiation. It's been over 8 years since her last treatment. She's still living a very full life.

My advice is to get 2nd opinions and make a lot of noise to her insurance company. They're usually the one behind the Dr recommending that additional tests are not necessary.

[jesus marion joseph]

Initial results of the biopsy inicate stage 3/4 tumor. Apparently it's not a well defined tumor, but rather one that is spread out. They're (apparently six doctors involved in this diagnosis) saying chemo & radiation, apparently with the objective of prolonging life with no real hope of shrinking the tumor or chnging the prognosis.

Thanks again everyone for the well wishes, PMs and inspirational anecdotes. I doubt my mother is going to be willing to take this laying down.

[Gentle Giant]

Take this advice as you will, but because we're dealing with the brain, try to get your mother to get down in writing anything and everything she wants the outside world to know, whether it's a living will, stories about her grandparents, things she knows that no one else does and isn't written down like special dates and numbers, etc. She may not always be able to access everything in her mental vaults and there's a lot of valuable stuff in there you don't want to lose.

[Ron Thorne]

My best, most hopeful thoughts are with you and your family during this very difficult and anxious time, jmj.

One of the most respected cancer treatment centers in the world is much closer to your Mom than Massachussetts . . . the University of Texas M. D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston.

[jesus marion joseph]

Great suggestion, Jason.

Thanks for the link, Ron.

[Rob C]

Sorry to see this. Strength, man....

[Valerie]

jmj: i am extremely sorry to hear about this news. i will hope and pray for the best outcome possible. what a shock it must be for all of you. don't forget to take good care of yourself too through this.

[Captain Hate]

Best wishes jmj; doctors don't know everything.