Please to remember the Fifth of November

[Monte Smith]

I had such a fun time remembering Michaelmas on this board that I thought I'd celebrate Guy Fawkes' Day, November 5, which this year will be the 401st anniversary of the Gunpowder Plot of 1605, in which the schemers attempted to blow up Westminster Palace, and with it the king and both houses of Parliament. Shocking!

401 years! And we don't forget. Effing popish homicide bombers! Religious fanatics; what're you gonna do? In brisk and sunny 1605 as well! It's not like it was the Middle Ages or the contemporary Middle East.

Anyway, you're supposed to burn Guido Fawkes up in effigy and read TS Eliot (or V for Vendetta) to really celebrate the day. The holiday is still current in the UK, but we haven't celebrated it stateside since the revolution. (At which time we got a little violently fanatical ourselves, at least vis-a-vis tea). There's a new book out that describes in its first pages, however, what a gigantic piss-up G.F. Day used to be in Boston. Competing neighborhoods would wheel around stuffed popes in mortal combat. Nice.



Please to remember
The Fifth of November
Gunpowder treason and plot;
I know no reason
Why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.
--Mother Goose

Here's to the old times. Careful with your bonfires.

[Chris D]

... and follow....

[Scott Dolan]

What day does Fitzmas fall on? Did I miss it this year?

[Monte Smith]

Ah Fitzmas, that heartwarming holiday where the Democratic children can be good all year long and still find lumps of coal in their stockings. Pobres ninos. Maybe they can find an effigy of Karl Rove to frog-march.

[Chris D]

Laugh-a while you can, monkey boy.

[Monte Smith]

By the way, November 5 this year will see a full moon, in case you are wondering what Pumpy will be doing for Guy Fawkes. Aroooo!

[Scott Dolan]

Ah yes, the beloved fuck huts.

We expect a full report.

[Dr Dave]

Monte, I can't remember, have you ever actually proposed Monarchy for the U.S.?

[Monte Smith]

Originally Posted by Dr Dave

Monte, I can't remember, have you ever actually proposed Monarchy for the U.S.?

Yes, but not some watered down homegrown yankee elected monarchy like the Bushes or the Clintons. No, what we need to do is apologize for the American revolution and rejoin the United Kingdom under the crown of our one genuine, annointed sovereign. It is time, my disloyal countryman, for the colonies to make their obeissance before the awful majesty of Elizabeth II!



Bow, you levelling dogs! Or at least curtsy.

[Monte Smith]

A penny for the old guy?



Howsa bout a stamp? Remember, remember.

[GoodSpeak]

My parents were married on the 5th of November.


I was born on the 6th.


My brother was born on the 12th.

[Monte Smith]

Originally Posted by GoodSpeak

My parents were married on the 5th of November.


I was born on the 6th.


My brother was born on the 12th.

Your mom musta looked hugely pregnant in that wedding dress. So are you and your brother twins?

By the way, there were fireworks let off last night somewhere in the distance. Large ones. So I'm not the only American pining for our Fawkesian past. I think there must have been some remembrance program put on at Wolf Trap, which is nearby.

[Scott Dolan]

Hahahahaha..............

[walto]

Po'Pay's Plot was more successful--at least for a few years:




The Pueblo Revolt of 1680 or Popé's Rebellion was an uprising of many pueblos of the Pueblo people against Spanish colonists in the New Spain province of New Mexico.
*
Background
Many of the Pueblo people harbored a latent hostility toward the Spanish, primarily due to their denigration and prohibition of the traditional religion. The traditional economies of the pueblos were likewise disrupted, the people having been forced to labor on the encomiendas of the colonists. Some Pueblo people may have been forced to labor in the mines of Chihuahua. However, the Spanish had introduced new farming implements and provided some measure of security against Navajo and Apache raiding parties. As a result, they lived in relative peace with the Spanish since the founding of the Northern New Mexican colony in 1598.

In the 1670s, drought swept the region, which not only caused famine among the Pueblo, but also provoked increased attacks from neighboring nomadic tribes—attacks against which Spanish soldiers were unable to defend. At the same time, European-introduced diseases were ravaging the natives, greatly decreasing their numbers. Unsatisfied with the protective powers of the Spanish crown and the god of the church it imposed, the people turned to their old gods. This provoked a wave of repression on the part of Franciscan missionaries. For example, in 1675 Governor Juan Francisco Treviño ordered forty-seven Pueblo medicine men to be arrested and accused them of practicing witchcraft. Four medicine men were sentenced to death by hanging; three of those sentences were carried out, while the fourth prisoner committed suicide. The remaining medicine men were publicly whipped and sentenced to prison. When word of this reached the Pueblo leaders they moved in force to Santa Fe, where the prisoners were being held. Because a large number of Spanish soldiers were away from Santa Fe fighting the Apache, Governor Treviño relented and released the prisoners. Among those released was a San Juan Indian named Popé (also spelled Po'Pay).

Popé
Following his release, Popé planned and orchestrated the Pueblo Revolt. While a fugitive from the Spanish authorities for complicity in several murders, Popé sought refuge at Taos Pueblo. From Taos he plotted the revolt. Popé dispatched runners to all the Pueblos carrying knotted cords, the knots signifying the number of days remaining until the appointed day. Each morning the Pueblo leadership was to untie one knot from the cord, and when the last knot was untied, that would be the signal for them to rise against the Spaniards in unison.

The day for the attack had been fixed for August 11, but the Spaniards learned of the revolt after capturing two Tesuque Pueblo youths entrusted with carrying the message to the pueblos. Popé then ordered the execution of the plot on August 10, before the uprising could be put down.
The attack was commenced by the Taos, Picuris, and Tewa Indians in their respective pueblos. Twenty-one of the province's thirty-three Franciscans, and three hundred and eighty Spaniards, counting men, women and children, were killed. Spanish settlers fled to Santa Fe, the only Spanish city, and Isleta Pueblo, one of the few Pueblos that did not participate in the rebellion. Believing themselves the only survivors, the refugees at Isleta left for El Paso on September 15. Meanwhile Popé's insurgents besieged Santa Fe, surrounding the city and cutting off its water supply. New Mexico Governor Antonio de Otermín, barricaded in the Governor’s Palace, called for a general retreat, and on August 21 the Spanish settlers streamed out of the capital city headed for the El Paso del Norte.

The Piro Pueblo, along with the Isleta, accompanied the Spanish to El Paso, presumably because they would be seen as Spanish sympathizers. The people of Isleta founded the settlement of Ysleta, Texas, and live there to this day.

Popé's kingdom
The retreat of the Spaniards left New Mexico in the power of the Indians. Popé ordered the Indians, under penalty of death, to burn or destroy crosses and other religious imagery, as well as any other vestige of the Roman Catholic religion and Spanish culture, including Spanish livestock and fruit trees. He also forbade the planting of wheat and barley. Popé went so far as to command those Indians who had been married according to the rites of the Catholic church to dismiss their wives and to take others after the old native tradition. Popé set himself up in the Governor’s Palace as ruler of the Pueblos and collected tribute from the each Pueblo until his death in approximately 1688.

Following their success, the different Pueblo tribes, separated by hundreds of miles and six different languages, quarreled as to who would occupy Santa Fe and rule over the country. These power struggles, combined with raids from nomadic tribes and a seven year drought, weakened the Pueblo resolve and set the stage for a Spanish reconquest.

"Bloodless" reconquest
In July of 1692, Diego de Vargas returned to Santa Fe. De Vargas surrounded the city before dawn and called on the Indians to surrender, promising clemency if they would swear allegiance to the King of Spain and return to the Christian faith. The Indian leaders gathered in Santa Fe, met with de Vargas, and agreed to peace. On September 14, 1692, de Vargas proclaimed a formal act of repossession.

De Vargas’ repossession of New Mexico is often called a "bloodless reconquest". However, de Vargas mounted several military campaigns against the Pueblo peoples in the years that followed in an attempt to maintain the peace. For instance, a Second Pueblo Revolt was attempted in 1696, resulting in the death of five missionaries and twenty-one Spaniards, but was effectively thwarted. By the end of the century, the Spanish reconquest was essentially complete.

While their independence from the Spaniards was short-lived, the Pueblo Revolt granted the Pueblo Indians a measure of freedom from future Spanish efforts to eradicate their culture and religion following the reconquest. Moreover, the Spanish issued substantial land grants to each Pueblo and appointed a public defender to protect the rights of the Indians and argue their legal cases in the Spanish courts. fficeffice" />> >

[Douglas]

Man injured by launching firework from his bottom

Mark Oliver and agencies
Thursday November 9, 2006
Guardian Unlimited

A man has suffered severe internal injuries after trying to launch a powerful firework from his bottom on bonfire night, it emerged today.It was thought that the 22-year-old was trying to copy a scene from the 2002 film Jackass: The Movie, which has long been condemned by safety campaigners and blamed for inspiring dangerous pranks.
The man is reported to have got down on all fours, lowered his trousers and fixed a Black Cat Thunderbolt rocket to himself in front of a group of friends at the end of a firework display in the Monkwearmouth area of Sunderland on Sunday.
Fuzzy mobile phone footage shows a blinding white flash and the group of spectators laughing.In the Jackass film, a rocket is launched in this way without causing injury, but the Sunderland man - a soldier who has just returned from Iraq - was not so lucky.
One witness described how he stood up and initially appeared to be unhurt, but then stumbled and fell to the ground, and it became clear he was bleeding. Paramedics and police were called to the scene.
A spokeswoman for the North East Ambulance Service said: "We received a call stating there was a male who had a firework in his bottom and it was bleeding. He was attended to and taken to Sunderland Royal hospital."
The man, whose injuries include a scorched colon, is still in hospital.
Safety experts were incredulous. A spokesman for the Firework Association said he had never heard of an incident like it in 45 years. He added: "This sort of thing is beyond belief.
"We have spent a long time working with the government to create laws that make fireworks safer and better for the public. This incident is very concerning but hopefully an isolated one."
A spokesman for the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents (RoSPA) said: "It's so unfortunate that someone is now paying the price for the misuse of fireworks.
"Let's not forget these are explosives. They come with specific instructions about how they should be used."
The RoSPA said a quarter of injuries from fireworks were caused by people carrying out pranks in the street.

[walto]

Has anyone notified thelil of this?!?

[Scott Dolan]

Are we certain that this wasn't (thelil), walto?

[Monte Smith]

This is not good. You survive Iraq to get taken out by a firework in Monkwearmouth?

I blame the Papists.

[Scott Dolan]

I blame the Pedestrians.

[Monte Smith]

I blame the Chinese. I'm sure they manufactured this pyrotechnical novelty and so they are responsible for the ensuing tragedy. Really, it's another Gunpowder Plot. It just never ends!

[Scott Dolan]

Small taters, Montessa.

Jackass: The Movie was made in what country?

Who is leader and bearer of all burdens, grief, and injuries sustained due to physical comedy misadventures of said country?

Who really manipulated this man to set his asshole on fire?

Who mismanaged the disribution of American movie releases in a foreign country (a country our movies had no right being in none the less)?

I'm not going to give you the answer, Monte. I simply want you to think about things for once.

[Monte Smith]

Originally Posted by Scott Dolan

I'm not going to give you the answer, Monte. I simply want you to think about things for once.

I'm going to give you the same answer I gave the Democrat with the goatee and lapel-full of buttons who tried to hand me a Democrat sample ballot this past Tuesday, Scott.

Robot synthesizer voice: "Karl Rove won't let me think. Chip in head. Destruct. Destruct."

[Scott Dolan]

Hahahaha.......................

There was a man with one less usable pair of underoo's.