Dennis Miller: Gore had 'such a stick up his a--'

[John P. Cooper]

Dennis Miller: Gore had 'such a stick up his a--'

Comic rips on Al, 6 imams, hybrids, teachers who have sex with students
Posted: December 6, 2006
5:15 p.m. Eastern

By Joe Kovacs
© 2006 WorldNetDaily.com

Dennis Miller

Comedian Dennis Miller says Al Gore would be president today if he didn't have "such a stick up his a--" during the 2000 campaign against George W. Bush.

His comment came last night on the "Tonight Show with Jay Leno," as Miller discussed the former vice president's movie about global warming, "An Inconvenient Truth."

"I saw Al Gore's movie, and you know, I remember thinking as I watched it, I thought, 'God, if he was half this charming when he ran for president, he'd be president right now.' He had such a stick up his a-- when he ran for the presidency," Miller said.

"I will pass that along to him," said Leno.

"Don't pass it along, take it out!" Miller responded, to a huge burst of laughter from the studio audience.

The pair discussed environmental issues and so-called climate change at length, with Miller displaying a copy of Newsweek magazine dated April 28, 1975. He highlighted an article titled, "The Cooling World," with scientists at the time purporting the planet was headed toward global cooling, not warming.

"I just don't think we control [the temperature] like we think we do," said Miller.

"Clean air, clean water, count me in, but some of these things are just crazy," he continued. "Alaska? I don't care about Alaska. To me, Alaska's ideal for our purposes. It's cold. It's set off from the main house. It's got a lot of goodies in it. It's like that old fridge you keep out in the garage. I think it's time to start hittin' it for some Jeno's pizza rolls 'cause the game is on.

"Listen, we're gonna replace oil till what? Till we run out of it. That's the American way. ... And we'll replace oil when we run out of it. That's why I drive an SUV, so we'll run out of it more quickly. I think that I am an environmental champion. These people who are driving hybrids around are only prolonging the problem."

Miller said what gets him "frosted" is the recent case of six Muslim imams in Minneapolis who are complaining about their removal from a US Airways flight due to security concerns arising from their purported suspicious behavior.

"Hey, join the club, boys," Miller said. "You know, I tried to sneak an extra thimble full of Prell [shampoo] onto the plane. Next thing you know, I'm getting cavity searched by a patriot wearing a catcher's mitt. But these guys start singing '99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall' in Farsi, and we're not supposed to notice."

Leno also asked Miller his opinion on the recent "sexpidemic" of female teachers having sex with their students.

"It's crazy, I mean, when I was 14, my teacher wouldn't let me bang the erasers," Miller clowned. "I think there's so little discipline in schools now that this is the only way teachers can get kids to do anything."

"How about the kid that doesn't have sex with teacher?" Leno interjected. "He feels left out. You gotta think [as a teacher today], you have to have sex with all the kids."

Miller noted: "We've got to get tougher on everybody who's messing with kids. There's so many pedophiles in the world now. It's insane. Some people want to keep track of them by putting transmitters in them to keep tabs on them. You know what makes it even easier? Burials. OK? You don't even have to spring for the batteries."

[Ron Thorne]

Yeah, like Dennis Miller has the goods to be president . . . or survive a year in Alaska.

Get over yourself, Dennis. You're not even cute anymore.

You're history, like Leno.

What a putz.

[cookie]

I'm not a Dennis Miller fan. Dennis Leary? Yes. Dennis Miller? No.

[Ron Thorne]

Me too, Cookie.

I didn't always like Leary, but he's come into his own as a thinker and comedian, in my opinion.

Miller, on the other hand, is so full of himself that it's putrid. He could actually self-destruct via self-inflicted poisoning, I'm thinkin'.

[Sandi22]

Dennis Miller went on one of the late night talk shows and said he was for Bush, having switched over because of how he took charge with that bull horn, etc. What a reason! Any of us would have done much the same, any of us would have been swept up in the emotion of those times, in fact we were, but that doesn't mean we are right for the oval office. Such a stupid reason, I've never heard before. He elaborated a bit, but basically that was it, it was a emotion driven reason. Reason wasn't behind it. Now he's coming down on Gore? Would I love to talk to Al Michaels and learn a bit.

[Gordon B]

During a recent interview Miller has said "I'm basically a libertarian. I'm pro-gay marriage and pro-choice, but nobody wants to hear all that...They determine who you are based on the war
http://www.pennlive.com/entertainmen...730.xml&coll=1

I don't know why anybody takes seriously the political opinions of entertainers, Miller, Leary, Martin Sheen, whoever.

[Gary Sisco]

I don't either.

[walto]

This isn't a recent Miller conversion. He's long been a favorite of younger/"We're hip" Repubs.

[Pete C]

Gordon, I have no problem discounting the opinions of entertainers, but what about jazz bbs posters?

[Enforcer]

He's pretty funny, though.

[Root Doctor]

Miller is no Chevy Chase.

[Dr Dave]

Gore had a stick up his ass. Bush has his head up his ass. Is it any wonder that people think Barack Hussein Obama looks promising?

[Gary Sisco]

With Gore, it's more like a Christmas tree than a stick.

[Rob C]

Originally Posted by Gordon B

During a recent interview Miller has said "I'm basically a libertarian. I'm pro-gay marriage and pro-choice, but nobody wants to hear all that...They determine who you are based on the war
http://www.pennlive.com/entertainmen...730.xml&coll=1

I don't know why anybody takes seriously the political opinions of entertainers, Miller, Leary, Martin Sheen, whoever.

I think he means that his current conservative audience doesn't want to hear all that.

I don't know if it's a matter of "taking seriously", but Miller's whole act is political these days: it's not like he's a singer or actor who has made a few politically-charged comments to the press--his entire act is, "Hey, how about that Monica Lewinsky, huh? Am I right, folks?"

[patricia]

Originally Posted by cookie

I'm not a Dennis Miller fan. Dennis Leary? Yes. Dennis Miller? No.

Another vote for Dennis Leary. I've always thought that Dennis Miller was full of himself.
Leary's reaction to 9/11 was to get involved in his series "Rescue Me", to put a human face on NYC firemen.
On the other hand, Dennis Miller's reaction was to be impressed by the photo-op of Bush and his bullhorn.
Leary is much smarter than Miller, despite Miller's erudite references in his bits, which seem to captivate his admirers.

[Gentle Giant]

My favorite Miller line: "Dan Quayle thought Roe v. Wade were alternative ways to cross the Potomac."

[Rob C]

Originally Posted by Gentle Giant

My favorite Miller line: "Dan Quayle thought Roe v. Wade were alternative ways to cross the Potomac."

I have to tell my favorite Dan Quayle joke, which is from Matt Groening:

"Dan Quayle is dumber than Ronald Reagan put together."

[Gary Sisco]

Joking aside, that line about Gore was entirely common during his campaign. In my experience it was one of the most common things said about him. Some of the other ones weren't quite as generous.

Anytime someone has to create a new image for himself to make it appear he's just another one of the guys ....

you're talking about a waste of time.

If the notion comes up in the first place it's a hopeless quest.

[patricia]

Originally Posted by Gary Sisco

Anytime someone has to create a new image for himself to make it appear he's just another one of the guys ....

If anyone in the 2000 Presidential campaign did that it was George W Bush.
That deception is still working for some who are still hoping they will get to sit down and have a beer with him.

Gore did make a huge mistake listening to those in his party who wanted to re-make him, right down to what he said and even what he wore.

Al Gore may not be the lampshade-on-the-head kind of guy that George W Bush is naturally, but he is not nearly as wooden as he was asked to be when he ran for the Presidency in 2000.
Among all those Dems who voted to give President Bush the authority to invade Iraq, some of whom are likely to vie for the nomination, Gore does not have that albatross to explain.
This time, if he decides to run, he really has nothing to lose and everything to gain.
I think that a Gore/Obama ticket has a real chance to win.
I also think that Hillary Clinton should continue to be a senator.
Just my opinion.

[lynn]

Dennis Miller used to be funny on SNL but somewhere along the line he got something akin to "born again" and became a rabid monger for the right. It was really wierd.

I prefer watching Lewis Black. His specials on HBO are outstanding.

[Gary Sisco]

You know what he was asked to be in 2000, Pat?

Neither one of them is exactly what a good party needs, let's face it. Gore had to go out and buy some shirts and pants when they realized his closet was full of suits, hey. Take him to LL Bean and so on. Give him a different image of himself having a different image of himself.

If he wasn't making himself into something he's not, why did he come out for socialized medicine *after* he was in power or even in the running? What became of his vaunted environmentalism *during* the eight years he was vice-pres or again in his running?

I know, I know, substantive questions aren't fair in American politics.

Still, one wonders.

Gore/Obama has as much chance of being a winning ticket in the US as I do.

And why not Obama/Gore. Gore has much more experience at being vice-president.

I'd not mind if they ran north of the border. Those hordes up there deserve such a thing. ;-0 There's fewer of them to convince and fewer to harm, once convinced.

[Enforcer]

Gore told a pretty funny joke about himself, I forget if he was on a talk show at the time or it was during campaigning: "If you see Al Gore standing next to two secret service men, how can you tell which one is Al Gore? He's the stiff looking one."

[Gary Sisco]

Guys like him get no respect.

[Brian Olewnick]

Originally Posted by lynn

Dennis Miller used to be funny on SNL but somewhere along the line he got something akin to "born again" and became a rabid monger for the right. It was really wierd.

I prefer watching Lewis Black. His specials on HBO are outstanding.

I don't find Black or Miller (in his current incarnation--he used to be good) remotely funny. For that matter, almost any comedian who does explicitly political material I rarely find funny. I mean, saying, "Bush is an idiot!" or "Gore is an idiot!" just isn't inherently funny. Both might be true but being funny is something else again.

Miller might well be more or less libertarian in his personal beliefs but a few years ago he realized that the right would pay big bucks to have a "hip" comedian on their side and he, noodlelike, bent their way.

[Noj]

Originally Posted by John P. Cooper

The pair discussed environmental issues and so-called climate change at length, with Miller displaying a copy of Newsweek magazine dated April 28, 1975. He highlighted an article titled, "The Cooling World," with scientists at the time purporting the planet was headed toward global cooling, not warming.

The science presented in An Inconvenient Truth seemed much more ominous than anything that should be dismissed with a single magazine article from 1975.

[lynn]

Can these guys actually qualify as comedians? Aren't they really political satirists? Will Rogers wasn't technically a comedian.

[Brian Olewnick]

Originally Posted by lynn

Can these guys actually qualify as comedians? Aren't they really political satirists? Will Rogers wasn't technically a comedian.

Dunno. The audiences in attendance seem to laugh themselves silly at their antics when not clapping like seals as their core beliefs are affirmed by someone on a stage. Feh. Anyway, a good satirist does more than name-call.

[patricia]

Originally Posted by Brian Olewnick

Dunno. The audiences in attendance seem to laugh themselves silly at their antics when not clapping like seals as their core beliefs are affirmed by someone on a stage. Feh. Anyway, a good satirist does more than name-call.

I'll see your Dennis Miller and raise you one Rick Mercer if the subject is the skill, and funnyness of a political satirist working today. Mercer used to be a member of the team on This Hour Has 22 Minutes and now hosts his own program, The Rick Mercer Report. He's sharp, witty and makes the viewer think, which is the whole point of political satire.

Or, I give you Ken Finkleman, who wrote and appeared in the masterpiece of political satire, The News Room. Brilliant! No laughtrack. But, the characterizations were spot-on.

[Dan G]

Originally Posted by patricia

I'll see your Dennis Miller and raise you one Rick Mercer if the subject is the skill, and funnyness of a political satirist working today. Mercer used to be a member of the team on This Hour Has 22 Minutes and now hosts his own program, The Rick Mercer Report. He's sharp, witty and makes the viewer think, which is the whole point of political satire.

Or, I give you Ken Finkleman, who wrote and appeared in the masterpiece of political satire, The News Room. Brilliant! No laughtrack. But, the characterizations were spot-on.

Yeah. Mercer is the best of the bunch. On a good day, there's no one funnier. And I think that Shaun Majumder and Gavin Crawford have potential, but 22 Minutes has lost a bit of its edge.

For some reason, I never really got into The News Room.

From the American pool of political comedians/satirists, I think it is hard to beat Stephen Colbert. To maintain that character so well, and come up with material daily, rather than just for the odd show, takes a lot of work. And And unlike Miller, who just spouts off things his audience believes in, Colbert shows the absurdity of things he and his audience disagree with by justifying them with extreme examples.

As to Miller, I lost any interest in him a few years ago when I saw him doing a bit about global warming where, rather than denying it is happening, ranted about how it was a good thing because it is too cold. And it's slow, only a degree or two a year, so it won't really be detrimental for a few generations and why should we care about our grandchildren's grandchildren. It was nowhere near being funny. He sounded like a drunk redneck republican who actually believed there were no further implications to global warming than the heating bill would go down.

[Brian Olewnick]

Pat, I don't know either of those but take someone most here do know: Jon Stewart. 1) He's an essentially funny person (imho, anyway) and 2) He doesn't only cast his barbs in one direction. Whatever person/party is currently in power will surely get most of the action, as is appropriate, but I'm confident that should the Dems retake the Presidency in '08 (and if he still has a show), he'll be just as active against them. To me, that's a comedic satirist as opposed to a comedic hack, of either stripe.