March-4th-2007, 07:26 PM
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#1
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The big apple - North of the Core
Posts: 5,647
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Questionable explanations hastily concocted.
But it is says "personal lubricant" right on the bottle
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March-4th-2007, 07:29 PM
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#2
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The big apple - North of the Core
Posts: 5,647
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I thought it was my apartment. We don't have keys so we always break the door in.
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March-4th-2007, 07:31 PM
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#3
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The big apple - North of the Core
Posts: 5,647
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Now I suppose we're supposed to absolutely know for sure what kind of powder it is?
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March-4th-2007, 08:00 PM
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#4
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************
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Manchester United States of America
Posts: 15,781
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How long are you expected to remain at the scene of an accident when you're thirsty?
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March-4th-2007, 10:25 PM
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#5
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We are the only reality
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: beautiful British Columbia
Posts: 14,705
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I just took this outside to see the colour in natural light.
__________________
A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.
Oscar Wilde [1854-1900]
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March-5th-2007, 09:00 AM
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#6
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User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Below the line
Posts: 9,969
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One of the great things about this hotel is they have an in-house tailor, and she's just fitting me for some new pants. Neat, huh?
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March-5th-2007, 09:53 AM
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#7
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holier than thou
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Cape Cod
Posts: 8,910
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That's not my penis.....
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March-5th-2007, 10:07 AM
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#8
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The Bluegrass
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: no country for old men
Posts: 30,969
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Baby, who are you going to believe? Me or your own lying eyes?
(Richard Pryor, on being caught in bed with another woman)
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March-5th-2007, 10:20 AM
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#9
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Most Loved JC User 2009®
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 39,810
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Boss, thank God you rescued us! Me and Nancy here were just walking by the janitor's closet when we stumbled inside, the door locked behind us and our pants fell down. Just one of those crazy things!
__________________
"That's it for the season. I cannot handle anymore. My groin, it cannot handle it." -Dominik Hasek
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March-5th-2007, 10:26 AM
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#10
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Substance User
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Somewhere in Kazakhstan
Posts: 1,863
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This thread reminds me of the joke that somebody posted here a while back. When the police caught a guy getting it on in a pumpkin patch with a pumpkin late at night and asked him, "what are you doing with that pumpkin?"
"Pumpkin!? You mean it's already past midnight?"
Last edited by John L; March-5th-2007 at 10:28 AM.
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March-5th-2007, 10:39 AM
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#11
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hocus pocus rationalizer
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: une estafette
Posts: 2,540
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"It's OK, she's .... my sister"
(as recounted by either Spike Milligan or Chick Murray about a landlady catching one of her actor-tenants "entertaining" a young lady)
Last edited by Douglas; September-16th-2008 at 12:50 PM.
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March-5th-2007, 10:43 AM
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#12
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Registered Eater
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Monroe, Connecticut and/or Newfane, Vermont
Posts: 5,857
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The sign said, "Buy one, get one free". I took the free one.
__________________
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later you're hungry again." -George Miller
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March-5th-2007, 11:46 AM
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#13
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The moldiest of all figs
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Tustin, CA
Posts: 11,546
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But (thelil) said it was perfectly acceptable to do it.
__________________
Stand clear of the doors and dig Carl Fontana
Last edited by clinthopson; March-5th-2007 at 11:46 AM.
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March-5th-2007, 11:47 AM
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#14
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The Bluegrass
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: no country for old men
Posts: 30,969
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Jesus told me to do it.
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March-5th-2007, 11:54 AM
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#15
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Columnated ruins domino
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Melrose, MA
Posts: 9,996
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Bookgie jarb? Mo, I bibn't tage aby bookgies brom the bookgie jarb. But? But's ib my mouf? Buffing, why?
__________________
http://dovenestedtowers.blogspot.com
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March-6th-2007, 05:16 PM
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#16
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The big apple - North of the Core
Posts: 5,647
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I only dropped my pants so I could be comfortable while I tried to help you figure out where your gerbil went.
Last edited by steve(thelil); March-6th-2007 at 05:16 PM.
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September-15th-2008, 11:07 PM
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#17
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The big apple - North of the Core
Posts: 5,647
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I had no regrets about basically not smoking weed anymore until I just rediscovered this thread, except for the fact that I didn't remember it at all.
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September-15th-2008, 11:40 PM
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#18
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banned
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 0
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This has never happened to me before. 
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September-16th-2008, 02:10 AM
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#19
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User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Below the line
Posts: 9,969
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Quote:
Originally Posted by steve(thelil)
I had no regrets about basically not smoking weed anymore until I just rediscovered this thread, except for the fact that I didn't remember it at all.
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"I'm not drinking. I have an alcohol deficiency problem."
__________________
“What people say, what people do, and what they say they do are entirely different things.”
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September-16th-2008, 09:06 AM
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#20
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Columnated ruins domino
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Melrose, MA
Posts: 9,996
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Actually, in some cultures fondling the hostess is a show of respect.
__________________
http://dovenestedtowers.blogspot.com
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September-16th-2008, 12:13 PM
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#21
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The moldiest of all figs
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Tustin, CA
Posts: 11,546
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Dave
"I'm not drinking. I have an alcohol deficiency problem."
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As the great Albert Collins said, "I ain't drunk, I'm only drinkin'.
__________________
Stand clear of the doors and dig Carl Fontana
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September-16th-2008, 12:47 PM
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#22
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The Bluegrass
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: no country for old men
Posts: 30,969
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I ain't seen no whiskey
the blues got me sloppy drunk
__________________
Away from the delusionary forces that turn music into a step to fame and fortune it becomes a reason to live." (David Morris)
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September-16th-2008, 12:52 PM
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#23
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Six decades
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Capital City
Posts: 12,900
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It's part of my drug therapy.
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September-16th-2008, 01:25 PM
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#24
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 8,844
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The light was amber when I was in the middle of the intersection.
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September-16th-2008, 02:35 PM
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#25
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We are the only reality
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: beautiful British Columbia
Posts: 14,705
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gentle Giant
Actually, in some cultures fondling the hostess is a show of respect.
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As is belching loudly at the end of a particularly delicious meal, so some say.
__________________
A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.
Oscar Wilde [1854-1900]
Last edited by patricia; September-16th-2008 at 10:48 PM.
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September-16th-2008, 03:22 PM
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#26
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The moldiest of all figs
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Tustin, CA
Posts: 11,546
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The electric bass was developed for those who didn't have arco technique.
__________________
Stand clear of the doors and dig Carl Fontana
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September-16th-2008, 03:24 PM
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#27
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,939
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That's not rug burn, I had a roller blading accident.
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September-16th-2008, 10:16 PM
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#28
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The big apple - North of the Core
Posts: 5,647
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At the turn of the 20th Century, "Schenectady" and "Boise" were pronounced the same way.
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September-17th-2008, 10:01 AM
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#29
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Columnated ruins domino
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Melrose, MA
Posts: 9,996
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We had to destroy that village in order to save it.
__________________
http://dovenestedtowers.blogspot.com
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September-17th-2008, 09:08 PM
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#30
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A unique perspective.
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The San Joaquin Valley, CA
Posts: 24,725
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Vote Greenie because everybody else is the same.
Ralph told me so.
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