my niece steffie...

gonzo · June-6th-2007, 04:09 AM

my older sister carmen lost her first husband steve to to cancer in 1990.he was 38. her children were very young at the time, 15 and 13, to my recollection. she was fortunate enough to meet another great guy, my brother in law kevin. like all of us he has his quirks, but overall he hes a standup guy who has done wonderful things for my sister and her kids. over the last few years her daughter stefanie had fallen into anxiety and depression, imobilizing her from even leaving her home. due to this stefanie has gained a great amount of weight. this past sunday my niece had to be rushed to the hospital for the third time this month. the excessive weight and inactivity had caused her to develop congestive heart failure. when they brought stefanie to an upright position her heart stopped. after several minutes they got her heart beating again but several minutes, perhaps fifteen, had passed and stefanie has never regained conciousness. she has severe brain damage, probably brain death(we will find this out tommorrow).
my poor nephew in law(her husband) is suffering severely attempting to deal with the inevidable(sp) the death of his wife and having to come to grips that taking her off the machines and letting her pass is very much a reality. the nursing and doctor staff are making her as comfortable as possible while waiting for her husband to come to grips with what will be her impending death and make the most difficult decision of his life, loving his wife enough to let her pass into the next life. its destroying him badly. her death is certain after the machines are shut down. he loves her more than life itself and keeps asking god to let him take her place. needless to say my sister is beside herself over the idea of losing her daughter. my family and myself are in great pain but are trying hard to be strong for the three of them, but in our hearts its killing us. all my nieces and nephews have grown to be fine adults but steffie has a special place in our hearts, because, no pun intended, she had the biggest heart. nothing but love and kindness for everyone of her family and friends. always looking out after us even in the face of her own depression and anxiety. she is a wonderful loving young woman ,and it kills to think that not long from now she will be gone. of the 6 nieces and nephews she reminds me the most of myself. so kind ,possibly to her detrement. shes not gone yet but i'm already mising her smile ,and kind words ,and supporting shoulders. sometime in the next few days my sister will have lost a husband and daughter all by the age of 51 and i just know thats gonna rip her a new one. if you can your prayers for me niece,her husband ,and my sister would be greatly and dearly appreciated. god bless you all.

jesus marion joseph · June-6th-2007, 08:07 AM

Wow, that's horrible news. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Gentle Giant · June-6th-2007, 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gonzo

if you can your prayers for me niece,her husband ,and my sister would be greatly and dearly appreciated. god bless you all.

Done. I wish there was more we could do for your family. Take care.

claude · June-6th-2007, 10:30 AM

Sorry to hear this gonzo. I'll send up whatever positive vibes I can.

Noj · June-6th-2007, 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by claude

Sorry to hear this gonzo. I'll send up whatever positive vibes I can.

I will too, gonzo.

tippy · June-6th-2007, 11:00 AM

gonzo, I am truly sorry to hear of these tragic circumstances taking place within the heart of your family. That is too too much. You and your family will have to lean on, comfort and love each other all the more and in so doing honor Steffie's bigheartedness by keeping it on this earth. Just a thought about it, no directive. I really am very sorry, gonzo, and likely say too much. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

cookie · June-6th-2007, 11:03 AM

Gonzo--my thoughts are with you and your family too. I am so sorry you all have to go through this.

clinthopson · June-6th-2007, 11:29 AM

gonzo, my heart goes out to you.

Chris D · June-6th-2007, 11:47 AM

So sorry for your family, gonzo.

GoodSpeak · June-6th-2007, 11:57 AM

I simply cannot imagine the depth of feeling and pain....and of loss.

Rest assured, Gonzo, you and your family are in my prayers today.

Go easy, my friend.

patricia · June-6th-2007, 12:58 PM

Too cruel and much too soon.
Good vibes to you and your family, Gonzo.
We're never ready to say goodbye to those we love.

Mike Schwartz · June-6th-2007, 01:54 PM

That's rough gonzo..........my warmest wishes to you and your entire family

walto · June-6th-2007, 02:14 PM

How horrible. I have two daughters and the thought of anything like that happening to either makes me sick.

hornplayer · June-6th-2007, 02:35 PM

Quote:

if you can your prayers for me niece,her husband ,and my sister would be greatly and dearly appreciated. god bless you all.

consider it done. I'm so sad for your deep sorrow, Gonzo. Sending you hugs.

kedoane · June-6th-2007, 11:58 PM

Prayers going out.

gonzo · June-7th-2007, 02:49 AM

thank you all so much for your kind words. they me more to me then i can even say. i let my mother read your responses and it made her feel really good. as i am writing this it is 11:40. about two hours ago my nieces main doctor informed them that there was in fact no longer any brain activity and hasn't been for days.and though they loved having family and friends there for the last couple of days that they would like to be alone with their wife and daughter for a couple of days. this was perfectly understandable to us and we're more than understanding. they need their space and time to grieve together and begin the healing process. and when its time for us to be there they'll let us in.
once again thank you all for your kind words and know that they mean a great deal to us. even though most of us here at jazzcorner have never physically met we really are a family. thank you all

gonzo

Dr Dave · June-7th-2007, 08:09 AM

My best thoughts to Carmen and to you and your family. What a terrible loss.

HLJ · June-7th-2007, 10:55 AM

Gonzo sending large prays to The God of my understanding for you and you family.Peace and all that

Ron Thorne · June-7th-2007, 04:04 PM

My thoughts are with you and your family in this very difficult time, Gonzo.

GoodSpeak · June-8th-2007, 11:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by walto

How horrible. I have two daughters and the thought of anything like that happening to either makes me sick.

I have a daughter....and this whole thing just breaks my heart in two.

gonzo · June-9th-2007, 04:10 AM

we'll be pulling her off of life support saturday at 7pm..

Gentle Giant · June-9th-2007, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gonzo

we'll be pulling her off of life support saturday at 7pm..

Thanks for letting us know. I'll be aware and thinking of you then.

Sandi22 · June-9th-2007, 10:19 PM

You and your's have our family's prayers Gonzo.

It's always harder for those left behind than the ones who've had to leave us.

Think of the happier times you shared, those memories are blessings.

God Speed.