Are You On Board?

Jimmy Cantiello · June-20th-2007, 09:10 AM

I haven't even gone on this year's vacation and I'm in the process of planning for next year's vacation. The plan is to go on a cruise to Alaska along with a land tour at the end of the cruise. I've only been on one cruise before which was in 1999. Joanne and I went on a Western Caribbean cruise which included stops in Grand Cayman, Jamaica and Cozumel, Mexico.

I know that several people here expressed an aversion to cruising. Why, I don't know. The one cruise that I took was very relaxing. The food was surprisingly good and you wake up in the morning in a different place than you were the day before, with the option to spend some time there.

Have any of you experienced a cruise? If so, did you enjoy it and would you consider cruising again? What were your likes and dislikes about the cruise?

moneyp · June-20th-2007, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimmy Cantiello

Have any of you experienced a cruise? If so, did you enjoy it and would you consider cruising again? What were your likes and dislikes about the cruise?

Yes, and I loved it. What I loved most was the food, and not having to make it myself. Going up to the Lido deck for breakfast is awesome. And bringing it down to your woman for "room service" is a surefire precursor to bedroom antics. And the great thing is that there's enough variety for people like me who can't eat the same thing two days in a row, although it's definitely not a potpourri of ethnic cuisine (a drawback for me). The dinners were all terrific.

Tons of amenities and things to do--it's amazing how much they could cram on to one cruise ship. It's like a small city. My girlfriend and I decided we could probably live there and be pretty happy. Even so, depending on your temperament, you'll probably spend some considerable time just sitting and tanning and/or reading, or else going a little stir crazy. There was a bit of both for me. I plowed through the four books I bought before the cruise was over and wound up raiding their lounge area (which had bookshelves stocked with board games and books) for further reading material. I wound up borrowing three Raymond Chandler novels to get me through the last few days. And I investigated every square inch of the ship, including finagling a tour of the engine room.

Probably the most fun I had was conversing at length with the staff, who come from all over the world. I think the only American staff member on board was the cruise director. The captain and his crew were all Italian, the entertainment people were Aussies and Kiwis, the waitstaff was from all over Eastern Europe. The personal attendant for our cabin was Croatian. My favorite waitress was from Estonia. Our evening waiters were from the Philippines. And it's strange, you start forging bonds with these people. You'll take pictures with them. We had only known them two weeks, and by the end we were seriously lamenting the prospect of not seeing them again. Kind of surreal.

The main drawbacks are... well, the food. You'll gain twenty pounds. Just be warned.

Cruiseonomics. Thanks to being in international waters and out of the reach of labor laws, the waitstaff gets exploited pretty egregiously, and if they're not on duty, they have to spend their off hours below decks and out of sight, which sucks. Now granted, they're earning way more money than they would earn back home, but still. Guilt lingers.

Kids. They're fucking everywhere, and they take over the pool during the day. If you can take a kid-free cruise, I recommend it.

Access to the outside world. No newspapers, and the internet was crazy expensive. The time it took me to shoot off a couple of e-mails cost three bucks. And I was typing fast. I know, some of you won't mind this. After a while, you stop caring. It could be armageddon out there, but as long as it doesn't interfere with your massage and spa treatment, who gives a crap?

Coming back to reality. Utterly horrible and dismaying experience. The first day you have to cook for yourself is the worst. They should have cruise "halfway houses" to ease you back into real life.

Pete C · June-20th-2007, 10:31 AM

Never done a cruise. I did the Alaska inside passage by public ferry, where I had a cabin. I also did a glacier and whale watching small boat tour, which was great, and ended up staying at the Glacier Bay lodge, which was wonderful and had great food. Though more expensive, the smaller ship cruises can get you much closer to glaciers, wildlife, etc.

tippy · June-20th-2007, 10:42 AM

>>It could be armageddon out there, but as long as it doesn't interfere with your massage and spa treatment, who gives a crap?<<

lol. okay that makes cruising sound fun but you know on the serious crime news shows there's the occasional murder on board episode and apparently it's pretty easy to get away with murder on these cruises.

tell Gopher I said Hi!

Jimmy Cantiello · June-20th-2007, 10:45 AM

Yes, Pete, your right about the larger ships. However, the cruise we're planning includes an optional excursion to plop down on a glacier via helicoptor. That should be plenty close. The land part of the tour will hopefully afford us a closer look at any wildlife that may appear.

I agree with Moneyp about the kids. It's good to choose a cruise during the school year and not during major holidays and vacations. That helps to cut down on the brat quotient. I would never consider a cruise on a Disney ship.

As for the lower echelon employees of cruises, Mone is absolutely correct. Many of them are exploited. I make a point of treating them with respect and show my appreciation by generously tipping them.

moneyp · June-20th-2007, 10:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tippy

>>It could be armageddon out there, but as long as it doesn't interfere with your massage and spa treatment, who gives a crap?<<

lol. okay that makes cruising sound fun but you know on the serious crime news shows there's the occasional murder on board episode and apparently it's pretty easy to get away with murder on these cruises.

Definitely. You could easily dump some of the more annoying kids overboard while nobody is looking. Er... supposedly.

Gary Sisco · June-20th-2007, 10:51 AM

Sounds great, Jimmy. I always wanted to cruise that inland passage. One time when the band was playing in Port Townshend, WA, we very nearly made a deal with a boat captain to haul us up there and back, stopping to play along the way. In the end, he wanted more bread upfront than we could give him. I was always sorry about that. Some friends in a different band, from Seattle, did it as annual thing back in the 70s/early 80s.

Shrugs can tell you all about cruises. ;-)

Gary Sisco · June-20th-2007, 10:51 AM

Mone -- In boot camp they told us that everyone is obligated to say "man overboard" but there's nothing in the regs about how loudly you have to say it.

tippy · June-20th-2007, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by moneyp

Definitely. You could easily dump some of the more annoying kids overboard while nobody is looking. Er... supposedly.

Another motive for getting chummy with the staff.

Chris D · June-20th-2007, 11:02 AM

I've only been on a Disney cruise, with the kids. I was reticent, but it was a blast. Mone hits most of the salient points.

I normally get seasick in the bathtub, so I got the behind-the-ear patches. They worked pretty well, even in a night of high Caribbean seas.

Jimmy Cantiello · June-20th-2007, 11:12 AM

Actually, seasickness was the last thing we had to worry about on the ship we were on. Between the state-of-the-art stabilizers and the fact that ship weighed in at 101,000 tons there was no discernable movement. Matter of fact, one night we were sitting up on the top deck at about midnight enjoying some music and watching people dance. I turned to Joanne and told her I was wondering why we hadn't left Cozumel yet since we were told that we would be shoving off at 10:30PM. I got up from the table and peered over the ship's rail and saw that we were already on our way and sailing at a fast pace. Didn't even feel the ship take off.

Douglas · June-20th-2007, 11:18 AM

I went on a cruise round Japan, stopping off to visit a number of summer festivals. A splendid time on the whole and the food was excellent. But almost all the passengers were probably double my age and the ship was geared up for that. I definately wanted more brats for my brats' sake and could have done with fewer ballroom dancing events. Then one brat got sick and had to be taken to hospital...

I'd probably go again but without parents and very young brats.

clinthopson · June-20th-2007, 11:25 AM

We've only taken one cruise. Last year we did the Greek Islands and enjoyed it very much. It was very relaxing and interesting and the food was superb. The consulting chef for the line is Jacques Pepin. Say no more. We liked the convenience of only unpacking once and, of course, the chance to be over served.

I can't think of anything we disliked about the cruise itself. Of course for us, having to be subjected to airlines for hours and hours is the price we pay.

Frankly, I don't know if we will take other cruises. Our interest lie in art, music, history and food so just to get on a boat and look at scenery is not our bag. We felt that the cruise was the only practical way to see the Greek Islands.

Being of the geriatric crowd, many of our friends frequently take cruises and Alaska is a very popular one. The Mexican Riviera also ranks high.

We have some friends who right now are on a Baltic cruise. That interests us. Also the North Sea Jazz Festival Cruise is a possibility for us next year.

It's a good idea to book a cruise a year ahead. Most lines offer some pretty good discounts, like two for one, for early booking.

Gary Sisco · June-20th-2007, 11:27 AM

Once when I was stationed on Iwo Jima -- where there were no civilians, no town, no women -- I looked out the window from my workspace and there were several women walking out of the bush, wearing bikinis and carrying multicolored umbrellas. I thought I'd finally lost my mind altogether.

Someone on a cruise ship that was passing the island on its way to Saipan spied our station flag and enough of the passengers (mainly Americans) were interested enough, so the captain dropped anchor and a bunch of people came ashore on small boats. Needless to say, we tried our very best to convince the women that the best thing they could possibly do to enjoy their cruise was to forget all about Saipan and spend a few days (and nights) with us.

Didn't work of course but it was a valiant effort that I've always thought merited at least a unit commendation.

And none of us but the CO and XO got to go out to the ship, either. Nor were the enlisted guys allowed to drink any of the case of whisky they brought back with them, motherfuckers. Was against regs to have liquor on the island at all, but some of us were enlisted and then there were the "responsibles" who were allegedly more able to control themselves.

Jimmy Cantiello · June-20th-2007, 11:27 AM

I do have to admit that the entertainment on our cruise was incredibly lame. I mean I didn't mind the magician and raunchy comedian just for shits and giggles but those Broadway type reviews were pretty awful. Those productions were chock full of semi-talented performers.

clinthopson · June-20th-2007, 11:41 AM

Oh yes, the "entertainment" was, for the most, part pretty mediocre. There was one pretty good guitarist and the piano player in the bar had a penchant for Jobim which worked for us.

Jazzzoline · June-20th-2007, 02:09 PM

For me, a trip is an adventure. I know where it starts, I don't know where I'll end up and only know the time Imma have to return to work. Evrything in the middle is pure adventure. Sometime it's fun, sometime it isn't but it's part of the deal.

Don't tell me about vacations where the time you must be in a bus, the time you have to go to bed, the restaurant you have to have a meal in and probably what you'll eat is already chosen all this is all decided. When actually, nothing really happens.

Nah, not for me.

Valerie · June-20th-2007, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimmy Cantiello

I do have to admit that the entertainment on our cruise was incredibly lame. I mean I didn't mind the magician and raunchy comedian just for shits and giggles but those Broadway type reviews were pretty awful. Those productions were chock full of semi-talented performers.

hate to sound like a smart-ass, but the entertainment on the cruise i'm going on in two weeks has mccoy, herbie, marcus, dee dee, etc., etc.

Jimmy Cantiello · June-20th-2007, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jazzzoline

For me, a trip is an adventure. I know where it starts, I don't know where I'll end up and only know the time Imma have to return to work. Evrything in the middle is pure adventure. Sometime it's fun, sometime it isn't but it's part of the deal.

Don't tell me about vacations where the time you must be in a bus, the time you have to go to bed, the restaurant you have to have a meal in and probably what you'll eat is already chosen all this is all decided. When actually, nothing really happens.

Nah, not for me.

Are you describing what you think a cruise is like? It's not like that at all. At least not the one I went on.

Jimmy Cantiello · June-20th-2007, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Valerie

hate to sound like a smart-ass, but the entertainment on the cruise i'm going on in two weeks has mccoy, herbie, marcus, dee dee, etc., etc.

Of course, Jazz cruises are the exception, Val.

hornplayer · June-20th-2007, 02:41 PM

heheheh Valerie! I was about to say that the only cruise I've ever been on was a Jazz Cruise, so the entertainment was top notch.

One of these days I'm going to do the Alaska thing, tho...

jesus marion joseph · June-20th-2007, 03:01 PM

Personally, I'd rather be boiled alive by natives in Papua New Guinea than to take a cruise. At least the ones like I saw when we were in Playa del Carmen, you know, the giant cruise ships that Jimmy describes. Being at an all inclusive resort was bad enough (Playa is loaded with them-they're like a curse). I'm still not so sure Leon Klinghoffer didn't jump overboard.

I prefer to travel on my own, without an organized group, and experience the local flavors. I would consider a small cruise, especially if I don't have to sign up for jet skiing at 5:00 AM to beat my fellow cruisers there first, or something equally lame.

That being said, I hope you enjoy your cruise, Jimmy!

Jimmy Cantiello · June-20th-2007, 03:09 PM

Thanks, John, but I have to say there are really not many constraints while on a cruise. You go ashore and do just about anything you want. No need to stay with a group. And the ships are so big, even with thousands of others on board, it doesn't seem cramped or crowded at all. Also, many cruises offer very flexible meal times and choices of several restaurants in addition to the huge dining rooms of older generation ships.

Dan G · June-20th-2007, 03:37 PM

I went on a Caribbean cruise 20 years ago. I was 22 yrs old, and the boat was pretty much full of seniors. I was there because a friend won it, back in the days when cereal box contests were actually worthwhile (Kellogg's Bran Flakes box tops!). It was an educational cruise, sort of, with all the landings being near Mayan ruins. We couldn't afford to take the excursions, so just hung around the ports and drank with the locals. That was the best part, not the actual time on the boat. Best part on the boat was meeting a young woman who was there accompanying her very aged grandparents...who fortunately retired early in the evening, allowing her some time to have fun.

Some friends recently went on one and loved it, so much that they have 3 more booked over the next 2 years. They want us to come on one, but it isn't my kind of vacation. I have no interest in the resort-type of vacation, and little interest in seeing a half-dozen places in a week. When I travel, I like to fully experience where I am. At least a week in one place. It helps really get to know the culture of a place, rather than the superficial tourist part. For example, last year I spent 2 weeks in Sydney, while friends went to Uluru, Cairns, etc...for about 1 or 2 days per stop. Yes, they saw a bunch of things but I got a real sense of what Sydney is like that they didn't get about anywhere they went.

tippy · June-20th-2007, 03:44 PM

PLUS, there's shuffleboard! (Aka hopscotch for lazy asses.)

Noj · June-20th-2007, 03:48 PM

When I was about 13 I went on a cruise with my parents to Ensenada. Our welcome to the harbor was the Mexican police hauling a dead body out of the water. Bienvenidos!

tippy · June-20th-2007, 03:50 PM

yeah baby - that's an education! I certainly hope they used that incident to get you to conform.

"Don't do drugs, Noj, unless you want the Mexican police hauling your dead body out of the water."

moneyp · June-20th-2007, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimmy Cantiello

Also, many cruises offer very flexible meal times and choices of several restaurants in addition to the huge dining rooms of older generation ships.

Yeah, there's food available 24 hours per day, pretty much.

Also, you're not really restricted to the times between when the boat docks and when it picks up. In fact, you can arrange to meet the ship at the next port as long as you can get there. A few people we met did that.

I agree with Dan that I prefer the idea of spending time and absorbing the local flavor. I loved my trip to Southeast Asia. Cruises are more for relaxing and being pampered into a stupor. And I don't care what anyone says, that has merit, dammit.

Jason Bivins · June-20th-2007, 04:00 PM

Man, I thought this was going to be about next year's JC hang. Kegger at Thorne's!

Jesse · June-20th-2007, 04:25 PM

The title essay in this collection is brilliant reportage of Wallace's cruise experience, a real howl.