Clueless in DC

[Dr Dave]

This came over on e-mail; I just hadda post it:

CLUELESS IN DC

These are allegedly from a Washington, D.C. travel agent with
30 years experience working with our congressmen and women. It will
definitely give you pause as to how or why American laws are made ( if you
didn't already wonder!!)
_______________________

I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat on the plane so
that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (think she
was blonde?)
_______________________

I got a call from a Candidate's Staffer, who wanted to go to
Capetown.
I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport
information then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to
make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts."

Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly
explained,"Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa."

Her response ... (click).
_________________________

Senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida
package we did.

I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he
was expecting an ocean-view room.

I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in
the middle of the state.He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map,
and Florida is a very thin state!!!"
_______________________

I got a call from a Lawmakers Wife who asked, "Is it possible
to see England from Canada?"

I said, "No."

She said, "But they look so close on the map."
_________________________

An aide for a Bush cabinet member once called and asked if they
could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed
they
had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas.

When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard
Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between the gates
to save time."
_________________________

An Illinois Congresswoman called last week.

She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from
Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am.

I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of
Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones.

Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought
that!
__________________________

A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your
physical description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to
who?"

I said, "No, why do you ask?"

She replied, "Well, when I checked in with it, they put a tag
on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight, I think that is very
rude"

After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it"
(I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for
Fresno, CA is (FAT), and that the airline was just putting a
destination tag on her luggage.
__________________________

A Senator's Aide called in inquiring about a trip package to
Hawaii.

After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be
cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"
_________________________

I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who
asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?"

I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was
told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have
numbers on them."
__________________________

A Lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola,
FL. Do have to get on one of those little computer planes?"

I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane.

She said, "Yeah, whatever!!"
__________________________

A Senior Senator called and had a question about the documents
he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about
passports, I reminded him he needed a visa.

"Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to
have one of those."

I double-checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa.

When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four
times and every time they have accepted my American Express!"
__________________________

A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want
to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York." the agent was at a loss for
words.

Finally, the agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the
town?"

"Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady.

After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry,
ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't
find a Rhino anywhere."

The lady retorted, "Oh don't be silly! Everyone knows where it
is.

Check your map!"

The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally
offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?"

"That's it! I knew it was a big animal," she admitted!!!

[Uli]

priceless, Dr. Dave!

[hornplayer]

wonderful!!!

no one's ever said that brilliance was a requirement for being an elected official -- tho at times it would certainly help!

[Chris D]

Some of these sound very urban myth-like.

[Gentle Giant]

Originally posted by Chris D
Some of these sound very urban myth-like.

I was suspicious of the guy who called to check on what documents he needed to go to China, only to admit that he'd been to China four times already.

But why ruin the fun?

[walto]

I think I've seen all these before, characterized as being about blondes.

[Ron Thorne]

I did a Google search and found that these appear on many sites. I'm a bit suspicious as to the authenticity too, but they're funny and not entirely beyond the realm of possibility, sadly.

I noticed a change in one of the stories which began with "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York", instead of Rhino. I don't think a travel agent (or anyone) would confuse those two words. The rest of the story, including the punchline remained the same.

[Dr Dave]

Duped again!

[jesus marion joseph]

Did you hear about the big shark on Cape Cod.......................