This is far too tempting, Doc!
Hey kids, can you say oosik?
The following has nothing to do with politics or politicians, at least not to the best of my knowledge.
As most of you are aware, Alaska is a
HUGE state, with many wonders, scenic and otherwise. One of those wonders is the oosik, the most prized body part of a male walrus or seal. This wondrous "member" is designed to match the scale and grandeur of our great state, The Greatland. Think I'm kidding? Behold.
This is a petrified
juvenile walrus oosik. I've seen adult ones which could be used for croquet mallets. Can you say perpetual boner?
ODE TO AN OOSIK -
Strange things have been done in the Midnight Sun, and the story books are full..
But the strangest tale concerns the male magnificent walrus bull!
I Know it's rude, quite common and crude, perhaps it is grossly unkind;
But with first glance at least, this bewhiskered beast, is as ugly in front as behind.
Look once again, take a second look--then you'll see he's not ugly or vile--
There's a hint of a grin, in that blubbery chin, and the eyes have a sly secret smile.
How can this be, this clandestine glee that exudes from the walrus like music
He knows, there inside, beneath blubber and hide lies a splendid contrivance - the Oosik!
"Oosik" you say..and quite well you may, I'll explain if you keep it between us;
In the simplest truth, though rather uncouth, "Oosik" is, in fact, his penis!
Now the size alone of this walrus bone would indeed arouse envious thinking
It is also a fact, documented and backed, there is never a softening or shrinking.
This, then, is why the smile is so sly, the walrus is rightfully proud.
Though the climate is frigid, the walrus is rigid, pray why is not man so endowed?
Added to this, is a smile you might miss..though the bull is entitled to bow
The one to out-smile our bull by a mile is the satisfied walrus cow!
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