Oh al-right!

[Marsha]

Hey, its all good!

no harm done though.

Marsha

[Tanager]

Huh?

She's right, you know.................

[Dr Dave]

Marsha: Yeah, well you were the one who thought this was a Randy Brecker BBS. Goofball!

In atonement for your error, you must answer the following questions. Failure to answer these questions will result in unspeakable horror:

1. Do you like pie? If so, what kind?

2. Have you ever used a gerbil or other rodent for the purpose of sexual self-stimulation or the sexual stimluation of another person? If yes, what kind of rodent? If no, why not?

3. Have you ever used a gerbil or other rodent to perform music? If yes, please describe the circumstances. If no, why not?

4. [To prepare to answer this question, you must read at least five threads begun by Goodspeak]: In your considered opinion, is Goodspeak a wingnut or not?

5. Are you a Boston Red Sox fan? If yes, do you also listen to recordings by Joe Maneri? If you are a Boston Red Sox fan and DO NOT listen to recordings by Joe Maneri, please explain FULLY (you may make additional responses as necessary) why not.

6. BONUS QUESTION: [You are not obligated to answer this question, but if you do answer it to Walto's satisfaction, things will go easier for you]:

What is Art?


Thank you. Promptness will count positively in our scoring.

[Monte Smith]

I don't know about Marsha, but everyone should answer these poignant questions asked by Dr. Dave...these are similar to the Are You a Terrorist? questionnaire I put on the old board.


1. Do you like pie? If so, what kind?

Yes. Savory pies are best. Mushroom and onion.

2. Have you ever used a gerbil or other rodent for the purpose of sexual self-stimulation or the sexual stimluation of another person? If yes, what kind of rodent? If no, why not?

No. I feel uncomfortable with rodents. I have used the history of World War II to bed a woman, however, and also the prayer Hail Mary.

3. Have you ever used a gerbil or other rodent to perform music? If yes, please describe the circumstances. If no, why not?

No. I feel music should be created by human beings and that rodents should be executed via a bar across the neck. Snap! Went the rap trap, thunk.

4. [To prepare to answer this question, you must read at least five threads begun by Goodspeak]: In your considered opinion, is Goodspeak a wingnut or not?

My opinion is that Goody has firm opinions he is passionate about. He just doesn't understand anything that is said to him, gets offended easily, and is never in on the joke.

5. Are you a Boston Red Sox fan? If yes, do you also listen to recordings by Joe Maneri? If you are a Boston Red Sox fan and DO NOT listen to recordings by Joe Maneri, please explain FULLY (you may make additional responses as necessary) why not.

The first baseball game I ever attended (in 1977) was the Red Sox. It is a cherished memory of my childhood--and you'd think I'd be a lifelong fan. Except they suck. So what's the point? On Joe Maneri I will remain nonpartisan (you zealots SCARE me!).

6. BONUS QUESTION: [You are not obligated to answer this question, but if you do answer it to Walter's satisfaction, things will go easier for you]:

Here is a post by Walto (Walter Horn):

1 Class, Race & Art
Last night I had a great dream. It was about reading a short story by Gary Sisco someplace (The "Atlantic"? The NYer?) involving a teenage welfare kid in an arts program and how he was treated. As I must expect from Sisco (& as everybody else should by now too), the piece was both really funny and extremely incisive. The rich kids blew tremendous amounts of $$ on stupid, useless techniques, and everyone, particularly the instructor, had a very condescending attitude toward the protagonist, who was struggling to get passing grades. He loved art, but he just wasn't sophisicated (read: well off) enough to be truly cool.

I take it that it's obvious that this kind of stuff is out in the world as well as in my sleeping head. But most people know, too, that there are some countervailing pressures out there as well. "Jazz has got to be from the streets. White kids can learn technique, but they can never really learn to play." That this strain exists in the visual arts world too could be seen in the treatment of the main character in the recent bio pic about the Black NY graffitti artist (who's name naturally escapes me as I type).

I thought a(nother) thread on this melange of issues would be interesting.

Here are the questions:

1. Should Gary write the story or not?

No. Dr. Dave should.

2. Is this melange of issues interesting or not?

Absolutely not.

[Ron Thorne]

This is sheer genius. Doc, I promise to respond within 48 hours.

Marsha, Marsha, Marsha. Now, see what you've done?

[Tom Storer]

Originally posted by Dr Dave
1. Do you like pie? If so, what kind?

Of course I like pie. Who doesn't like pie? I like my pies either savory or sweet, but would not plan a meal featuring, for example, a savory pie as the main course and a fruit pie as dessert. You can have too much of anything, even pie.

2. Have you ever used a gerbil or other rodent for the purpose of sexual self-stimulation or the sexual stimluation of another person? If yes, what kind of rodent? If no, why not?

Rodents have never been involved in my sex life in any way, nor shall they be. This is because the concept of "consent" by a dumb beast cannot be admitted by law. Therefore, sex with rodents is unethical, indeed it is technically rape.

3. Have you ever used a gerbil or other rodent to perform music? If yes, please describe the circumstances. If no, why not??

I have never used an animal of any kind, much less a gerbil or other rodent, to perform music, for the same reason that I have no right to utter an opinion on any musical performance: I am not a musician.

4. [To prepare to answer this question, you must read at least five threads begun by Goodspeak]: In your considered opinion, is Goodspeak a wingnut or not?

I have never met Goodspeak in the flesh. I am unable to determine whether or not he has "wings that provide a grip for the thumb and finger," which according to the Webster-Merriam dictionary are the defining characteristic of a wingnut.

5. Are you a Boston Red Sox fan? If yes, do you also listen to recordings by Joe Maneri? If you are a Boston Red Sox fan and DO NOT listen to recordings by Joe Maneri, please explain FULLY (you may make additional responses as necessary) why not.

I am not a Boston Red Sox fan. For the record, even if I were I wouldn't listen to recordings by Joe Maneri. I do not listen to recordings by Joe Maneri because they do not please me.

6. BONUS QUESTION: [You are not obligated to answer this question, but if you do answer it to Walto's satisfaction, things will go easier for you]:

What is Art?

I note that this bonus question seems to have been changed from its original version, but that's OK. I'll answer this one. Art is paintings and poems and music and dance and stuff like that.

[walto]

Monte sez, "I thought a(nother) thread on this melange of issues would be interesting."

Here are two of his questions [along with Monte's answers]

1. Should Gary write the story or not?

No. Dr. Dave should

Unh-unh, I'm pretty sure it was Gary (but I think he'd ALREADY written it or how could I have read it in the NYer??). I think the Doc Dave piece you're referring to is in "Atlantic Monthly" and is about wine (and which ones are good or smell good or something).


2. Is this melange of issues interesting or not?

Absolutely not.


OK, but I didn't say it was the best dream I ever had or anything. I probably had a better one sometime.

[Gary Sisco]

I like pie a couple of times a year.

I'm from New York and live in Vermont but don't side with any baseball team (my father was a Brooklyn fan, so I didn't inherit a loyalty).

Rodents are for killing, by any means at hand.

Monte's lying. I have *never* appeared in one of his dreams. I'd know it. After all. I am I.

Doc should write it. I don't write anymore. I just run me mouth.

[Enforcer]

I used to love "It's art if I can't do it," except that I can actually play most of the music I hear and consider art. Damn me and my boundless talent for ruining what should be a perfectly good definition of art.

Cherry picking the topics he comments on,
Larry

[blawless]

1. Do you like pie? If so, what kind?
Yes. Apple pie, like this great land of ours, is dearest to my heart.

2. Have you ever used a gerbil or other rodent for the purpose of sexual self-stimulation or the sexual stimluation of another person? If yes, what kind of rodent? If no, why not?

Strangely enough, I have fantasized about rodents often. Our administration currently includes many powerful men whose rodent-like features often steal into my thoughts. In one such reverie John Ashcroft and I are constructing a dam together when his small, black-button eyes catch mine and, enraptured, we tumble together under a felled tree and nibble at one another with our long yellow teeth.

3. Have you ever used a gerbil or other rodent to perform music? If yes, please describe the circumstances. If no, why not?

My church choir contains many members who keep pets, some gerbils among them. Although I do not have a pet, I believe pet ownership gives us something of the sense of stewardship toward nature that our Lord feels toward us, and inclines us to praise His name in glorious song.

4. [To prepare to answer this question, you must read at least five threads begun by Goodspeak]: In your considered opinion, is Goodspeak a wingnut or not?

I consider Goodspeaking a necessary calling. Let us speak the good word to all men!

5. Are you a Boston Red Sox fan? If yes, do you also listen to recordings by Joe Maneri? If you are a Boston Red Sox fan and DO NOT listen to recordings by Joe Maneri, please explain FULLY (you may make additional responses as necessary) why not.

Is Maneri an Italian name? The Italian people have given many great gifts to America. Chief among these is a very hospitable restaurant chain called the Olive Garden, which in my community--far west of the licentious town of Boston, I'm happy to point out!--is a good place for families to gather and drink iced tea.

6. BONUS QUESTION: [You are not obligated to answer this question, but if you do answer it
to Walto's satisfaction, things will go easier for you]:

What is Art?

These times have bowed too much to art and sundry other excesses. Art is a decadent pastime that wrecks the social fabric and encourages homosexuality. I have my only consolation in the continuing vigilance of our great leadership in ridding this country of art and other offensive things that make us unhappy. I pray for artists and ask that all of you join me in supporting righteousness and a better way of life for all of us. Amen.

[mke]

Originally posted by blawless
3. Have you ever used a gerbil or other rodent to perform music? If yes, please describe the circumstances. If no, why not?

My church choir contains many members who keep pets, some gerbils among them. Although I do not have a pet, I believe pet ownership gives us something of the sense of stewardship toward nature that our Lord feels toward us, and inclines us to praise His name in glorious song.

Are you saying that pets do (or if they do not, should) praise Our name in glorious song (or barks, or meows, as the case may be)?

[blawless]

MKE, you're in my prayers. May you soon find the answers you seek.

[mke]

Originally posted by blawless
MKE, you're in my prayers. May you soon find the answers you seek.

Hey, you're the one sporting an incestuous lesbian marriage (the musical accompaniment of which seems not quite church material) as an avatar.

[clinthopson]

1. Do you like pie? If so, what kind?

I love pie and hope to die, if you love pie and hope to die, baby knock me a kiss.

2. Have you ever used a gerbil or other rodent for the purpose of sexual self-stimulation or the sexual stimluation of another person? If yes, what kind of rodent? If no, why not?

The rumors about me, four moles and Yolanda are unfounded

3. Have you ever used a gerbil or other rodent to perform music? If yes, please describe the circumstances. If no, why not?

After our triumph in Turlock, the ferret retired to a senior community near Modesto.

4. [To prepare to answer this question, you must read at least five threads begun by Goodspeak]: In your considered opinion, is Goodspeak a wingnut or not?

Without 'Speak's wisdom we would all be lesser persons.

5. Are you a Boston Red Sox fan? If yes, do you also listen to recordings by Joe Maneri? If you are a Boston Red Sox fan and DO NOT listen to recordings by Joe Maneri, please explain FULLY (you may make additional responses as necessary) why not.

I have hated the Sox ever since '86, Dave Henderson and the late Donnie Moore. Who the hell is Maneri?

6. BONUS QUESTION: [You are not obligated to answer this question, but if you do answer it to Walto's satisfaction, things will go easier for you]:
What is Art?

Art Farmer, Art Garfunkel, Art Carney, arteriosclorosis, Art of War, Artful Dodger. . . . .

Masha, what are you wearing?

[Nathaniel Catchpole]

Not a lot.

No.

No.

I think that's a terrible thing to say, he's an orator, not a fixing.

I used to be able to see the Red Sox from the window of my apartment, and lived less than 5 minutes walk from the stadium. I never went to a match (game?), but we did fire some potatoes at high velocity in the direction of the stadium. Short of going on the roof, we wouldn't have got any onto the pitch, however we did have several successful shots at Gillians, where I assume some Red Sox fans go to after games. We may have contributed to the smell and squidgy consistency of potatos on the sidewalk of northern Landsdowne St., perhaps adding, or subtracting from the experience of being a Red Sox fan from approximately April-October 2000. Building a potato cannon (although I can't claim any mechanical input) that could reach distances of 200 yards was much more interesting than watching some baseball game, red socks or no. I have one Joe Maneri record, but don't listen to it very much.

[Ron Thorne]

1. Do you like pie? If so, what kind?

Yes, but not with every meal. I especially like berry pies, savory pies and girly pies.

2. Have you ever used a gerbil or other rodent for the purpose of sexual self-stimulation or the sexual stimluation of another person? If yes, what kind of rodent? If no, why not?

Yes, just this morning after breakfast. It was a vole, I think. Kinda small for major prostate stimulation, actually.

3. Have you ever used a gerbil or other rodent to perform music? If yes, please describe the circumstances. If no, why not?

Yep. I beat the shit out of a shrew one night while "cloudy" on medication and grass on a gig. It was in the late 60's. There wasn't a lot of cymbal definition, but he/she didn't sound too bad on my tom-toms, actually.

4. [To prepare to answer this question, you must read at least five threads begun by Goodspeak]: In your considered opinion, is Goodspeak a wingnut or not?

Not. Oh, what's a wingnut?

5. Are you a Boston Red Sox fan? If yes, do you also listen to recordings by Joe Maneri? If you are a Boston Red Sox fan and DO NOT listen to recordings by Joe Maneri, please explain FULLY (you may make additional responses as necessary) why not.

I'm not a current fan of the Red Sox, but I've enjoyed them at times. In fact, while in Boston in music school (early 60's), I actually watched a few games at Fenway. I do not listen to recordings by Joe Maneri. Why? Because I don't want to, dammit! He never played for Boston, did he?

6. BONUS QUESTION: [You are not obligated to answer this question, but if you do answer it to Walto's satisfaction, things will go easier for you]:

What is Art?

Hell, I don't know ... I'm a drummer.

[moneyp]

Yes, cherry, no, because, no, because, yes, no, the product of creativity.

[Gary Sisco]

Frickin' Brits. Always tossing (doubtless Irish) potatoes at one of America's most sacred institutions. You'd think they'd have gotten over that by now.

[Jazzzoline]

Originally posted by Monte Smith

No. I feel uncomfortable with rodents. I have used the history of World War II to bed a woman, however, and also the prayer Hail Mary.

ROFL...
I had a cousin doing this too... strangely, some women would fall and he didnt even know how it happened.

[Uli]

Originally posted by mke
Hey, you're the one sporting an incestuous lesbian marriage (the musical accompaniment of which seems not quite church material) as an avatar.

Hey, I think he relativates all this with a cherry fallen off the Keith Rowe tart.

[Jazzzoline]

1- I like pie from time to time. Apple pie with cinnamon is my favorite.

2- I never used a gerbil for sexual self-stimulation. But I consider using it on someone else, simple curiosity. Anyone interested?

3- Maybe I should use a gerbil or a rodent for playing music... They probably play music better than I do.

4- Goodspeak isnt a wingnut, he's just the typical case of "nobody-likes-me-but-I-have-the-right-to-live" we can find in any forums, online or not.

5- I think red soxs would be a perfect match with my red pumps. And no, I don't listen to recordings by Joe Manieri. Now, am I missing something?

6- I won't answer the bonus question. Sorry Walto.

Now, why do i feel like I've spent an hour with my therapist?

[walto]

Sorry??


SORRY???!!!??

As Dave indicated, things may not go at all easily for you any more.

[mke]

Originally posted by Uli
Hey, I think he relativates all this with a cherry fallen off the Keith Rowe tart.

I always thought Rowe was the cherry.

[bluenoter]

5. Are you a Boston Red Sox fan? If yes, do you also listen to recordings by Joe Maneri? If you are a Boston Red Sox fan and DO NOT listen to recordings by Joe Maneri, please explain FULLY (you may make additional responses as necessary) why not.

My answer to that one is similar to Nat's. I'm not a Red Sox fan despite having once lived in a BU dorm that was within spitting distance of Fenway Park. (I grew up in Pittsburgh and have never managed to become a fan of a team other than the Pirates.) I have one Joe Maneri album but have listened to it only a few times so far. I really loved Joe Maneri when I heard him live.

[Al in NYC]

1. Yes, red currant and gooseberry -- but ONLY red currant and gooseberry.

2. No, I prefer marsupials -- they come with that "little something extra!"

3. Not any more. I tried to enjoy the music made by my gerbils, but quickly grew very bored with their unvarying head-solos-head structure.

4. No, a wingnut is actually useful.

5. Nope, Detroit Tigers fan here (and to all Red Sox fans who will be tempted to snicker may I remind them that the Tigers have won 4 more World Series than the Red Sox in the last 85 years, and 2 during my lifetime even). Joe Maneri? Yes.

6. What isn't art?

[Jazzzoline]

Originally posted by walto
Sorry??


SORRY???!!!??

As Dave indicated, things may not go at all easily for you any more.

Some poeple are never satisfied... until they meet a gerbil.
So, are you a gerbil type-o-man ( assuming you are male).

About art.. what is there to say.. i was looking at a sculpture.. you know the kinda sculpture they put in front of a building ( find them is most cities) and I told myself " I could have done it myself".
Maybe i'm an artist and i dont know it. One thing is certain, even if i've done that sculpture myself, i'd never allow anyone to see it and put it in front of a building for everyone to see. it's something about that fear of rejection hidden deep inside of me ( whoa.. where's my therapist) that most artists dont seem to have.

[walto]

Thank you. I am sated & you may go.

[Monte Smith]

Originally posted by Al in NYC

4. No, a wingnut is actually useful.

6. What isn't art?

*4. That's true. And a wonderful observation. There can be no surfeit of praise for useful things.

*6. Plenty.

[Nathaniel Catchpole]

Bluenoter, I don't care if you spat at Fenway, I want to know if you shot potatoes at it.