Farewell, Stella Blue...

[Cem]

My darling Stella Blue passed away quietly this morning around 9:40. She was 16. I had had her from 3 months old. She had been suffering from a hyper-thyroid condition for the past year or so and diabetes for about 5 years. I made the decision to cut her off from insulin, and later from hyper-thyroid medication, because I didn't want her to be propped up by medication, anymore. Seemed selfish. I started feeding her chopped up raw chicken, which she loved. She had started losing muscle and weight and finally when she appeared to be in discomfort the last few days, I took her in to the vet yesterday morning. The vet eased her possible pain with valium and gave her an iv, in case she might improve. By last night, the improvement was minor and her body temperature could not be increased by much, so we decided to wait till this morning, just in case. Again, hardly any improvement, so euthanasia seemed to be the right thing to do. I had to wait a day, just to be sure. She did not seem to be in pain anymore. Now she's gone and I miss her.

A huge thank you to Tippy for her suggestions and help with information.

For anyone who has access to it or is interested, I'd recommend The Grateful Dead Movie dvd for a stellar version of Stella's song. I've been watching and crying... "It seems like all this life, was just a dream..."

"Stella Blue"
Words by Robert Hunter; music by Jerry Garcia


All the years combine
they melt into a dream
A broken angel sings
from a guitar
In the end there's just a song
comes crying like the wind
through all the broken dreams
and vanished years
Stella Blue

When all the cards are down
there's nothing left to see
There's just the pavement left
and broken dreams
In the end there's still that song
comes crying like the wind
down every lonely street
that's ever been

Stella Blue

I've stayed in every blue-light cheap hotel
Can't win for trying
Dust off those rusty strings just
one more time
Gonna make em shine

It all rolls into one
and nothing comes for free
There's nothing you can hold
for very long
And when you hear that song
come crying like the wind
it seems like all this life
was just a dream
Stella Blue

[Sandi22]

Sad, yet you're thoughts are so sweet and uplifting. I've lost the dearest of friends, and over the years, thinking about them still brings me joy, as well as tears.

[Brian Olewnick]

Sorry to hear this, Cem. You have all my best wishes.

[Enforcer]

You have my condolences, Cem. My best wishes to you.

[Tom Storer]

Always tough, Cem. A couple of years ago we had to euthanize my cat, a miserable misanthropist who would let no one near her but me, due to diabetes as well. They just don't live as long as we do. My condolences.

[Mike Schwartz]

Cem..........these are tough experiences.
There is no doubt that the love and fond memories she brought you will last your entire lifetime.

[GoodSpeak]

All the best, Cem.


We all understand what you're going through....and it isn't easy.

[Ron Thorne]

It's never easy losing a loved one, Cem. Stella Blue was clearly loved and appreciated. My condolences to you.

My wife and I are staying with our oldest son and his family, and their beloved "Luna" is suffering from kidney failure and a recent mouth infection. It's painful to watch her deteriorate right in front of our eyes, especially at the relatively young age of 9.

All the best to you, buddy.

[gonzo]

cem,
my heart goes out to you. our pets play a very important role in our lives based entirely on love so i am so sorry to hear of your loss. hang in there.

[Bill Barton]

My condolences, Cem. Take care.

[Captain Hate]

My condolences Cem; pet's lives are so short and they enhance our lives so much.

[vibes]

That's a beautiful cat. I'm sorry for your loss, Cem.

[patricia]

Stella Blue was a dignified and beautiful lady.
She gave you much more than she took and I know that she will live forever in your memory.
We know that it's almost certain that we will outlive our pets, and yet...

[Dan G]

Sorry to hear about your loss Cem. It's rough losing a member of the family, even 4 legged ones (done it twice in the past 3 years). Remember her in her healthier days, and be glad she had such a long life.

And in a couple of months, maybe you'll start to think about rescuing a couple of kittens from a shelter. They don't become replacements for the former ones, but they sure are fun!

[cookie]

Oh, Cem, man, I'm sorry to hear about Stella Blue. What a beautiful girl she was!
My heart's with ya.

[Valerie]

my thoughts are definitely with you. i'm sorry to say that i've been through this several times so i know how difficult it is. but what joy they bring to our lives. everything in life is a trade-off and this is sure one. take good care of yourself.

[Jesse]

[jesus marion joseph]

Sorry to hear about your Stella, Cem. It's been my experience that our pets develop personalities every bit as complex as human ones, and we miss them as much as we would any human when they're gone.

[Gary Sisco]

Very sorry for your loss, Cem.

My cat Jazz is 15 years old and has been with me since a kitten of five weeks. She's been with me as long as any being except my immediate family, and I only lived with them for 15 years. Even over all of that time, however, I still miss my old buddy Buster, a Burlington street cat who decided to adopt me, and who died of FIV, a week before I got Jazz.

My animals are as real friends to me as my human friends are. Moreso, a lot of the time. I spend much more time with them than I do with people friends.

[hornplayer]

I'm sending you lots of good thoughts and hugs, Cem.

My Julia will be 13 this Saturday. She's been with me since she was 6 weeks old, and I know I'd be devastated to lose her, cantankerous as she sometimes is....

Folks who don't have 4-legged friends don't understand what they mean to us.

[Uli]

My thoughts are with you Cem.

Get a new one asap!

[Gary Sisco]

That's always been my practice. A new one doesn't replace the one you lost but it gives you something to do with the love.

[Cem]

Thank you all for the kind and supportive words. As it usually is with losing a loved one, death itself is not necessarily the culprit for sorrow here, as much as missing the departed. It was time for Stella to go. Also, I do have certain regrets that I could've helped her live a little longer... not sure about a happy & healthy long life,though... Most noticeably, I already miss her so much!

I keep hearing certain noises that make me think she's coming through the cat door or I expect to find her sleeping on the couch or I expect her to follow me to the fridge with excitement, etc. Not the case. I already miss picking her up like a baby and doing a nose rub with her and hearing her really loud purr mixed with complaining meows (she hated being picked up or losing control, yet loved affection)... very funny!

I'm not going to get another pet for a while now, as my life may be shifting in shape again, anyway. I'd like a dog next. Never had one. Living in the country now, it would be fair to live with a dog. I have a fenced in back yard, which would be good for a dog, when I'm away for the day. Eventually, I'll get one, probably a collie...

Which brings me to a recent Stella Blue 'dote. Stella couldn't stand dogs in her space, except for a friend's collie. First time they met, the dog came in the house and ever so gently and carefully sidled up to her -she was sitting on a small papasan chair, like Emanuelle. My friend's cat had recently passed away, so the dog had lost his cat friend and was, ever so carefully, trying to gain a new play mate, without scaring her off. Amazingly, Stella stayed calm and cool. They sat like that, checking each other out for over an hour.

They visited a few more times and it was obvious that love was in the air. On one of their visits, the dog must've got too close for Stella's comfort level or licked her or something, as Stella freaked with one of her high-pitched "growls" (she had a tiny frame, like a kitten's)! ...started chasing the big dog... and the dog howled and ran...!!! truly, a strange string of events and very funny!

[Erik Lund]

Sorry Cem. Losing pets is always one of the toughest things...

[kedoane]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss, Cem.

[groover]

She was a beautiful cat, beautifully named, and obviously very dear to you, Cem. You have my deepest sympathy for your loss.

[tippy]

Oh no, Cem, I am so sorry that you lost your Stella Blue. And please don't have any regrets. This feeling you are having is par for the course, I see it in others 99% of the time, but remember when you are having these thoughts that it is just an illusion, a doubt - a lie, really. To put it off really would only have served to delay the agony that you feel now. No matter how much "goodbye" time, it is never enough and absent writhing pain, one is likely never prepared to have their close friend be gone.

Honestly, Cem, I don't know many who could manage their cat's diabetes for 5 years especially with such grace and (ahem) sanity so you should have no doubts, no qualms about the kind of caregiver you are - you are among the superbest, at the acme. A natural Shaman in my book. And you fulfilled your commitment to Stella to see her from the enjoyable early years of life (that are so pleasing and fun) through to the end of her days in the best possible way you knew to do. And making decisions like this always involves some guesswork (goddamnit). I know without a doubt that how you treated her in the end was with respect and a mind to what was best for her.

I am just so sorry that your beloved Stella is gone and that you miss her so - it is a reflection of the deep feelings you had for her to feel this way so I guess that must unfortunately be so. I guess being missed means you lived a life worth living by contributing to someone else's. Rest in peace, Stella Blue.

[Cem]

Thank you. You guys are awesome.

Clint, I'm very sorry you lost your beautiful cat and the prior loss, as well. Sad & difficult, but what we did is the right thing to do to ease their pain, yes...

I just picked Stella's frozen body from the vet... I was conflicted as to what I was going to do with the body, burial or cremation, that's why I left her at the vet's until today. I decided to dig her a grave near a beautiful, young cedar in my backyard. Her brother Ozone, who had died at the young age of 5 in '96 is also buried on the island here. Quite sad, but strangely, somehow feeling some sort of closure, now that she's at her final resting place. Rest in peace, sweet Stella...

[Jason Bivins]

Cem, sorry about this, my friend. And sorry to hear of others' losses too. I've not been a pet "owner" before meeting Nina, but boy have I become attached. My sympathies.

[rene]

digging her grave yourself must be tough and heartbreaking.

it's one noble act you could do for Stella B. stay cool, bro!