This is not my beautiful house

[Gary Sisco]

CAMBRIDGE, VT -- An intoxicated man is facing a charge of suspected unlawful trespass after he allegedly entered a residence in Cambridge and passed out, said Vermont State Police.

Kyle Sullivan, 26, is due in Vermont District Court in Hyde Park on March 18 to answer the charge.

A homeowner on Upper Pleasant Valley Road called police at about 2:20 a.m. on Thursday to say that he saw Sullivan, who appeared to be intoxicated, passed out in his house, said police. A subsequent breath test revealed that Sullivan's blood alcohol level was three times the legal limit.

[Scott Dolan]

Pete certainly won't be pleased with the title of this thread.

[Chris D]

This is not my beautiful wife. My God, how did I get here?

[groover]

At least he had the sense not to attempt to drive home in that condition.

Once in a lifetime...

[Jimmy Cantiello]

That's only because he thought he was already home.

[groover]

When you're that wasted, any bed will do.

[Monte Smith]

Originally Posted by groover

At least he had the sense not to attempt to drive home in that condition.

It's exactly that kind of thinking that got my friend Ted's buddy Dan Fadden into trouble. He was at a party at a house on a suburban cul-de-sac and he was fucked up drunk. So he decides to leave and walks out to his car and gets inside. But the struggle with the door and then the seatbelt and then the radio and then the acute nausea convinces him that, hey, maybe I better play it cool on the unkdray ivingdray. So using both hands and both feet, he heroically pulls himself out of the driver's seat and walks back to the house, where he flops down on a couch in a side room and snoozes it off. Or so he thinks.

A few hours later, a man shakes him awake and asks him who the hell is he and what the hell is he doing on the family couch? Holy shit, Dan Fadden thinks, I returned to the wrong fucking house! So he shoots up, yells, "I'm sorry!" and flees the residence.

And sure enough, he had returned to the wrong house! Haha. What a fucking crazy thing. But he got out OK, he's back at his car, and it is way past time to be getting home. So, uh, he looks for his keys in one pocket, and they aren't there. So he checks the other pocket and also doesn't find the keys. So he shakes around his jacket and his hair and takes off his shoes and looks back at the sidewalk and all around the cul-de-sac. No keys! They've gotta be in the pillows on that couch.

We walks back up to the place and presses, ding-dong! Takes some balls. The other option is to abandon the car. Shortly afterward, Dan Fadden joined the Peace Corps.

[Surfer]

Originally Posted by Monte Smith

Shortly afterward, Dan Fadden joined the Peace Corps.

They all do, because they think that will straighten their shit out. Little do the Dan McFadden's of the world know that PC Vols and ex-pats are the heaviest drinkers on the planet, and you can drunk drive all you want up country, just watch out for that hippo.

[groover]

Originally Posted by Monte Smith

It's exactly that kind of thinking that got my friend Ted's buddy Dan Fadden into trouble. He was at a party at a house on a suburban cul-de-sac and he was fucked up drunk. So he decides to leave and walks out to his car and gets inside. But the struggle with the door and then the seatbelt and then the radio and then the acute nausea convinces him that, hey, maybe I better play it cool on the unkdray ivingdray. So using both hands and both feet, he heroically pulls himself out of the driver's seat and walks back to the house, where he flops down on a couch in a side room and snoozes it off. Or so he thinks.

Actually, you might recall that a young guy got shot dead by a homeowner in similar circumstances in Lansdale, Pa, a few years ago. Drunk driving might be safer, especially if you're experienced at it.

[Dan G]

Originally Posted by Monte Smith

It's exactly that kind of thinking that got my friend Ted's buddy Dan Fadden into trouble. He was at a party at a house on a suburban cul-de-sac and he was fucked up drunk...

I believe I told the story elsewhere here (in a stupid-off with Schaumann, I believe) of forgetting that my sister had moved, and in a drunken stupor going to her old apt., using my key, and waking up the next morning to the irate new neighbours... And fear of a similar incident is the reason that when I was looking for a house a few years ago I chose a neighbourhood with a policy of no same-model houses within 5 houses of each other, and no same-colour scheme houses on the same block. I feared coming home a bit wasted and not knowing where I lived.

In a similarly stupid move, a former colleague of mine left a restaurant after a few glasses of wine, and somehow managed to take the wrong car - there was another silver Toyota Camry, same year, same everything, parked near his and, in what the dealer and cops said was about a 20 million to one chance, they had been keyed the same. This was mid-90s, before all the current security shit like micro-chipped keys. So he gets in and drives away. Real owner comes out not too long after, discovers car missing, calls police who happen to spot him still on the road. He was lucky enough to talk his way out of a stolen vehicle charge, but did get a dui.

[jesus marion joseph]

Originally Posted by Gary Sisco

CAMBRIDGE, VT -- An intoxicated man is facing a charge of suspected unlawful trespass after he allegedly entered a residence in Cambridge and passed out, said Vermont State Police.

Kyle Sullivan, 26, is due in Vermont District Court in Hyde Park on March 18 to answer the charge.

A homeowner on Upper Pleasant Valley Road called police at about 2:20 a.m. on Thursday to say that he saw Sullivan, who appeared to be intoxicated, passed out in his house, said police. A subsequent breath test revealed that Sullivan's blood alcohol level was three times the legal limit.

I've seen five or six instances of this locally in the last few years. Once the guy tried to climb into bed with some teenage chick, which freaked her out some.