The "Aw Hell No!" Political Bloc

[Darryl G. Thomas]

Ithought this was kind of funny:


washingtonpost.com
Okay, Barack. Now Show 'Em Your White Side.

By Bomani Armah
Sunday, March 23, 2008; B01

So it's official. Sen. Barack Obama is black enough. Now it's time for him to switch gears. Okay, maybe not Obama himself -- he does a good job of appearing to be above the political and racial fray, as his speech last week proved again -- but his supporters. They need to start pushing the idea of how white he is.

Yes, that's right: Barack Obama is as white as he is black. The one-drop rule is not a genetic law or a social fact; it is a construct of this country's racist imagination. For Pete's sake, he's a distant cousin of Dick Cheney's. We need to start stressing the idea that his universal appeal is partly due to his being white, like all the presidents before him.

I know, I know. For a while the big issue was Obama's blackness. But the King (Jesse Jackson) and the Prime Minister (Al Sharpton) of black people announced he'd passed the test. Of course, it took a gang of white people in Iowa voting for him before they felt comfortable anointing him, but it happened. All of a sudden, Bill Clinton looked less like a gumbo of James Brown, John Coltrane and Magic Johnson and more like a potluck dinner of Tom Jones, Kenny G and Larry Bird.

Black people all over the country felt liberated: Finally they could support an African American who wasn't guaranteed to lose. In fact, I personally take credit for helping Obama solidify the black vote, because every time someone asked me that asinine "Is he black enough?" question, I would quip, "What do you expect the first black president to be? A dashiki-wearing, Afro-with-a-pick, fist-waving ex-Black Panther?" Little did anyone know that Obama's former pastor, the Rev. Jeremiah Wright Jr., is a dashiki-wearing, fist-waving, might-as-well-have-been-an-ex-Black Panther (not sure, I'll call the FBI to check).

Before you knew it, the world had been introduced to the astonishing idea that some black people (okay, all black people except Armstrong Williams) believe that this country was founded on some nefarious principles and might still be involved in activities aimed at undermining the black community. Cable news pundits and radio talking heads were stunned to find out that large segments of the community think that the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution were merely propaganda -- grand talk that the country didn't intend to live up to but has been forced to conform to over the past few centuries because of blacks, women, the poor, non-Christians and numerous other minority groups calling them out on the promise of "all men being created equal."

Blacks do believe that this country is the greatest on Earth, but we sleep with one eye open because of the nightmares of our past.

So, now that the uncomfortable secret of Obama's blackness has finally been uncovered, it's time for him to promote his other half. Okay, I know what you're thinking:

But Bomani, we need to appeal to the historic significance of his being black, or try to make him non-racial!

Not so. In all honesty, the more I watch Obama talk and interact with people, the more I'm convinced he's a "soul brother." He walks with a rhythm, slaps skin when he shakes hands with even the most white-bread politician and speaks in a cadence that would make Rudy Ray Moore proud. Even though these attributes are part of the reason he has garnered support among important blocs of voters -- African Americans, young people, liberals, antiwar activists and the highly educated -- they will also serve to galvanize a voting bloc that hasn't had to come together before in the history of our country. That is the all-important "Aw Hell No!" voting bloc.

That's right. The "Aw Hell No!" political bloc has lain dormant for 200 years, waiting for a moment to flex its political muscle. Don't forget that this country is more than 60 percent white and that less than half the population votes. This means that a lot of white people could care less about the political process. They believe that national politics are really out of their reach and that it's not worth taking time off from work to participate. As long as the federal government stays within some superficial norms, they aren't worried about who does what in November. That is, until a black man (and to be honest, a woman) got a real chance to become president.

This attack on the laws of the universe is destined to cause a spike in participation by these once-apathetic voters. This is a group that includes young and old and has members in both rural areas and urban communities. "AHN" members are comfortable with their lives and just aren't ready for such a dramatic change in the White House. I wouldn't even be surprised if some members of this bloc have spoken glowingly of Obama -- maybe even attended his rallies. They may not realize that they're members of this group until the curtain is closed behind them in the voting booth.

This is why I say, play up Obama's white heritage as much as possible. He needs to start posing with his mother's family a lot more, not the United Nations crew of brothers and cousins he's normally seen running with. Staffers need to start snapping as many pictures as possible of him putting mayonnaise on his sandwiches and shaking hands straight up and down (no more low-fives that evolve into a shake with that pat on the back). He should also be banned from speaking at any kind of Baptist church (not just the United Church of Christ) and should just stick to churches that only use a pipe organ and where folks sing their songs solemnly and straight from a hymnal.

He should be given diction lessons so he stops cutting off his y's (no more "li-ber-teh" and "e-kwa-li-teh"). And for heaven's sake, when he's campaigning this summer, no rallies on the "south side" of any city. (Is there some cute, Anglo-sounding nickname that we can use as short for Barack? I'm open to suggestions. Hey, I've got it -- Barry!)

Okay, I hear you again:

But Bomani, playing into racial stereotypes has to be counterproductive! And having him fake anything takes away from the realness that gives him such broad appeal!

Look, Obama's amazing background and upbringing allow him to play any role in our tragicomedy of black vs. white thoroughly and authentically. After he wins the presidential election, I will personally show up on Pennsylvania Avenue during his inaugural procession, wearing the African flag colors of red, black and green, with the rap group Public Enemy (pre-Flavor Flav's "Flavor of Love"), screaming at the top of my lungs like a teenager running behind Muhammad Ali in Zaire: "Barack, bomaye! Barack, bomaye!"

Until then, I am not taking any more chances acknowledging him as a black man.

info@notarapper.com

Bomani Armah is a Washington poet, hip-hop artist, satirist and educator.

[Gary Sisco]

Good one.

Shit. Another white president, coming up.

[patricia]

I can't help thinking that you've got your guy who is willing to take on the mess that exists in Washington and don't really want him.

Too many are content to want more of the same, and McCain is anxious to carry on what many have become used to, getting screwed and liking it.

Too late to have buyers' remourse, once either McCain or Clinton are settled into the White House.

Or, as my late dad used to say, "You had your chance and you blew it."

Sad really.

[Gary Sisco]

Nothing like writing off a campaign and people before the race starts ...

[patricia]

Originally Posted by Gary Sisco

Nothing like writing off a campaign and people before the race starts ...

Exactly what I've been thinking. What is the point of winning the nomination, by any means, if you still lose in November because of the trashing that has been done now.
OR what is the point of trashing your opponent in the primary, especially if YOU don't win the nomination.
What is the matter with these people???

[Gary Sisco]

This is what happens when "extraordinary people" do things.

"Ordinary people" get fucking jobs and work for a living -- and for theirs as well.

I'm not and never was a Trotskyist but when I was in London, *The Militant* was trumpeting "A worker's MP for a worker's wage!"

Fucking right, I thought. We institute that as a program and the extraordinary people will flee the whole mess and leave us ordinary mofos alone, for once.

[Root Doctor]

Originally Posted by Gary Sisco

I'm not and never was a Trotskyist

Too bad, you could have become a neocon.

[Gary Sisco]

Nah, I'd've had to be a left-Maoist for that ...

[Darryl G. Thomas]

The AHN bloc is intriguing. It may exist. I work with folks like that. Totally apolitical, I often wonder what would make them want to vote.

That and the mayonnaise bit. All the white guys I work with like mayo, I'm a Miracle Whip guy myself.

[Gary Sisco]

Tony Soprano called his neighbors "the Mayonnaise down the street." I got a good laugh out of that one.

My old pal Rick Knight called it "Protestant binder."

[groover]

Shirakiku - Mayonnaise with Horseradish 10.58 Oz.


I used to like mayo as a kid, but this is the only kind I use now.

[Dr Dave]

I don't buy it. Apathetic is apathetic. People who won't come out to vote for someone won't come out to vote against someone, either.

I gave up mayo years ago. Hummus is where it's at. Performs the same functions (cementing the greens to the lunchtime sandwich so's they don't fall out) without the fat.

[Gary Sisco]

You're wrong about that, Dave, because I've gone out to vote against someone myself. Alfred E. Bush, for example, three times (counting primary).

In other places -- England, for example -- the practice has a name: strategic voting.

(I used to use hummus and still would except locally it's sold in tiny, shallow containers and when you do the math and realize how much they're charging per pound, it's cheaper to just buy some cocaine. Then you won't be so hungry so you don't have to worry about fat content.)

[Dr Dave]

Originally Posted by Gary Sisco

You're wrong about that, Dave, because I've gone out to vote against someone myself. Alfred E. Bush, for example, three times (counting primary).

In other places -- England, for example -- the practice has a name: strategic voting.

I may be wrong about you, and I may be wrong about the Brits, but I don't think I'm wrong about this. For better or worse, I know a lot of people who take a perverse pride in not voting; they can't be bothered, or they think it's all rigged (they've been right about that a few times, eh?). I just can't see them getting off their duffs to prevent a woman or a guy who is half-white and half-black become President. Especially since the alternative is a guy who wants his constituents to go on dying in Iraq.

[Gary Sisco]

True enough, but they don't matter in an election, here or anywhere.

It was noted in the press that many repubs turned out to vote for Clinton, in Mississippi, to use a recent American example. This will be common in other contests from here on because the repub candidate has already been crowned.

Many people on the left who wouldn't have voted for LBJ (or anyone) because Goldwater was so belligerent about Vietnam, turned out to vote for him. (Only to have LBJ elected to become as belligerent as Goldwater, but still another example.)

Many people on the left consciously didn't turn out to vote for Humphrey (or anyone) because he insisted on continuing the war and also for retaliation against the party for the Chicago police riots.

Political people vote (or abstain for tactical or strategic reasons). The rest don't matter. They are often the largest "bloc" and not just here. Reagan won what we were told was a landslide when he was elected by one in five eligible voters.

[Dr Dave]

Yes, I take your point. But wasn't the original post about people who are not "political" coming out to vote?

[Gary Sisco]

Yeah but why would they if they're not political?

Myself, I'd rather people who aren't political don't vote. If they haven't thought enough to develop a politics and some kind of notions of their own, or can't be bothered to, I'd really rather they didn't vote at all.

I've developed grave doubts in fact about universal suffrage by birth alone. I just don't have a better idea. It seems to me very strange to require more knowledge about the US's political ideas and system of naturalizing immigrants than of by-birth citizens (and we do).

[patricia]

One thing that I find curious is the number of Republicans who claim to have pushed Hillary over the top in states where they can vote in Democratic primaries.
Would they be doing this, assuming they did, to achieve a more easily beaten candidate in November?
Isn't it possible that some of the victories that Clinton has gotten in the primaries may be giving her and her supporters an unrealistic idea of just how viable a candidate she will be in November against John McCain? Those Republicans will presumably vote for their Republican candidate when it counts.
Perplexing.

[Gary Sisco]

They perceive, correctly, that Clinton would be the weaker candidate for the repub party to face.

The repub party can war on Clintons on autopilot. They already know how to do that. Entire careers have been made doing it. Indeed, they've never stopped. Clinton would also unify a very fractured repub party, because it would become an "anyone but her" deal, the same way other people were "anyone but Bush."

[Darryl G. Thomas]

Gary,

Then why does Clinton insist she's more electable than Obama (just joking).

[Gary Sisco]

She insists all kinds of shit, evidently. ;-)