|
Hillarys Clinton and the Eggs on the Sidewalks
One times Hilarys Clintons plopped off her broomsticks and was walksins down the stret when she saw a egg sammich boilins on the sidewalk.
It was obvious that someones put the eggs there to heat it up cause they didn'ts have no money to have a hotplate.
So what happens next? Hillary jumps on the egg sammich and squiches it up and the egg cires so much that tears was comins out of its yellow eyes an' whatnot. An Hilary was bit up and ugly too, both insides and out. Eggs is beautiful and skin deep but Hilarys ugly cuts right to the bones!
Then some poor dudes comes outside and says "Hey ya skanky ol' witch! I cants afford no hotplate so I put that eggs on the sidewalk to heat it up so I can feeds my family! Why you squicthin' my egg with youers penny loafers, ya pig?"
And Hillarsy saids "I didn'ts know it was your hotplate, what are you so bitter about?"
"I'll tells you," says the yellins dude. "You and your husband make 100 millions dollars a second and you talks to me about my boy Obama and how HE'S elitist? The dudes just finshed payins off his college loans!!! Whys you distoritsns what he says NAD WHY DID YOU STEP ON MY EGG?!?"
"Ah, eat cakes," sayd Hilarys. "Ands another thing, yo and your eggs is an idiot. But if you vote for me, I'll maybe give you a dolalrs or somethings in tax breaks because I grew up in a church with frogs an' whatnot, and they didnot even let in the girls with the big butts, of which I was one, but now I has and cann afoord many hours of liposuctions so I look like I fits into this pantsuit real well but if I didn't afford the lipos I'd be bigger than a cow. And my butt would be enormous ands no one would vote for me because of my appreancex. But like I saids, please vote ofr me and I'lls pretend to be everythins you wants until 100 millions dollar is in my pocket again times seven!"
"I'll just take my scrumpy ol' eggs," said the dude as he went sadly back to his home with just the yolk. "Ands Id' vote for you if you had a huge butt. I'ds vote for you if you had NO butt! As long as you had a heart, which you don't." And he trudged back home, cryins egg in hand, to the shame of his family who were mad that Mis Clinton destroyed their last food fo the week.
The end
|
Linear Mode
