Jesse Helms dies

Gentle Giant · July-4th-2008, 11:24 AM

Sayonara, asshole.

Former Sen. Jesse Helms dies at age 86

July 4, 2008

RALEIGH, N.C. --Former Sen. Jesse Helms, who served 30 years in Congress, died on the Fourth of July, the Jesse Helms research center says. He was 86.

The center, based at Wingate University in North Carolina, said Friday that he died at 1:15 a.m. Jimmy Broughton, Helms' former chief of staff, says the former senator died of natural causes in Raleigh.

Helms built a career along the fault lines of racial politics and battled liberals, Communists and the occasional fellow Republican during his decades in Congress. He was slowed in later age by a variety of illnesses, including a bone disorder, prostate cancer and heart problems.

GoodSpeak · July-4th-2008, 11:58 AM

To quote a phrase my Mother used to say: Good riddance to bad rubbish.

I wish I could say better, but it is not within me. The bigot is dead.

Gary Sisco · July-4th-2008, 12:05 PM

Geez. Already?

BFrank · July-4th-2008, 03:33 PM

"He was one of the giants of the 80s and 90s in the United States Senate," former Republican Sen. Trent Lott of Mississippi told Fox News.

>>> Good riddence to you, too, Trent.
BTW......I thought he was already dead. Who am I thinking of?

Squaredancecalling Steve · July-4th-2008, 03:37 PM

As Mark Twain said, "I won't be able to attend the funeral, but I approve of it."

Jon Abbey · July-4th-2008, 03:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BFrank

BTW......I thought he was already dead. Who am I thinking of?

probably Strom Thurmond, another scumbag who will hopefully rot in hell.

PHILLYQ · July-4th-2008, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BFrank

"He was one of the giants of the 80s and 90s in the United States Senate," former Republican Sen. Trent Lott of Mississippi told Fox News.

>>> Good riddence to you, too, Trent.
BTW......I thought he was already dead. Who am I thinking of?

Them and Strom got together, got out the white sheets...
And where they'll all wind up, cross burning is approved and encouraged.

BFrank · July-4th-2008, 04:59 PM

Not Strom.......an evangelist - Pat Robertson-style.

steve(thelil) · July-4th-2008, 05:27 PM

He actually died 3 days ago, but they just stuffed him in a Hefty bag until today so they could announce he died on the Fourth of July.

Squaredancecalling Steve · July-4th-2008, 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by steve(thelil)

He actually died 3 days ago, but they just stuffed him in a Hefty bag until today so they could announce he died on the Fourth of July.

Maybe, but I'll bet it was a red, white and blue Hefty bag.

Monte Smith · July-4th-2008, 05:47 PM

I can't believe you people piling hate on Jesse, a man who never hated a soul in his life. I'm just happy he died on the 4th of July, like the two men he mentored: Jefferson and Adams.

Al in NYC · July-4th-2008, 06:36 PM

It took too goddamn long for this to happen.

GoodSpeak · July-4th-2008, 09:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PHILLYQ

Them and Strom got together, got out the white sheets...
And where they'll all wind up, cross burning is approved and encouraged.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BFrank

Not Strom.......an evangelist - Pat Robertson-style.

They all need to burn in Hell.

GoodSpeak · July-4th-2008, 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Monte Smith

I can't believe you people piling hate on Jesse, a man who never hated a soul in his life. I'm just happy he died on the 4th of July, like the two men he mentored: Jefferson and Adams.

Jeese Helms on the 1964 Civil Rights Act : “The single most dangerous piece of legislation ever introduced in the Congress.”

The bigot's bigot.

gonzo · July-5th-2008, 02:36 AM

i hear they're having a heatwave in hell this time of year jesse.

Steve Reynolds · July-5th-2008, 06:04 AM

imagine if we piled on some run of the mill lefty when he or she died,,,,,

Monte Smith · July-5th-2008, 07:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoodSpeak

The bigot's bigot.

Well, when I say Jesse never hated a "soul," I'm using the term "soul" as Jesse would, to denote a white Christian male North Carolina voter.

steve(thelil) · July-5th-2008, 10:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steve Reynolds

imagine if we piled on some run of the mill lefty when he or she died,,,,,

.....You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.

Slurpy · July-5th-2008, 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Monte Smith

Well, when I say Jesse never hated a "soul," I'm using the term "soul" as Jesse would, to denote a white Christian male North Carolina voter.

BTW, how'd this thread split from the Bozo the Clown RIP thread?

Gary Sisco · July-5th-2008, 11:08 AM

Ain't no heaven.
Ain't no burnin' hell.
-- John Lee Hooker

Jesse be carrion, now -- the one fate we all share.

Root Doctor · July-5th-2008, 11:10 AM

If Jesse don't like it then it's prob'ly not art
Jesse knows what's good Ol' Jesse is smart
And if you don't like that don't feel sad
'Cause the art that you like is probably bad

Grandma Moses, she's OK
Never exposes anything; everything's far away
And the statue of David's all right with Jesse
'Cause Michelangelo gave him such a tiny pee-pee

If Jesse don't like it, it don't stay;
get it out of the museum, get it out of there today
Jesse's fav'rite painting is the one of the clown
with the daisy in his hand and a tear rollin' down

In the kindergarten years ago, Jesse got rude
He took a red Crayola and he drew a nude
And the teacher took a ruler to Jesse's behind
She beat his butt but she ruin'd his mind

Jesse prob'ly didn't like Picasso
But neither did the dictator Franco
And I know about art but I've got to take a hike
If I like somethin' that Jesse don't like

If Jesse thinks it's dirty it don't get any funds
They use the taxpayer's money on tobacco and guns
Your freedom of expression is bein' denied;
But if you're not sure what you like then just let Jesse decide

Don't photograph a penis; don't paint a breast
Don't write about the truth because it might offend Jesse
And don't tell it like it is, and don't show where it's at
'Cause Jesse don't like it and that is that.

Gary Sisco · July-5th-2008, 11:14 AM

Mr Helms don't like it
Ain't gonna have it here

clinthopson · July-5th-2008, 11:35 AM

Too bad it didn't happen 20 years ago.

Gary Sisco · July-5th-2008, 11:43 AM

Better yet, 50.

Jimmy Cantiello · July-5th-2008, 12:10 PM

Even better yet, how about 86.

Scott Dolan · July-5th-2008, 01:11 PM

Hittin all the make up work today, Rootz?

Jesse · July-5th-2008, 01:36 PM

Gentle Giant · July-5th-2008, 01:58 PM

Jesse
By Todd Rundgren

He found a letter.
Someone had slipped it under the door.
Said I gotta tell you something,
I never told no one before.
I know it sounds crazy.
I can hardly bring myself to say,
But the feeling is oh so strong now,
I can't hold out another day.
I hope you can take it said that way.
When I say,
I wanna fuck you, Jesse.
I wanna fuck you, Jesse.
I wanna fuck you 'cause I got the right
To love a man whose stupid, ugly, and white.
I wanna say "fuck you," Jesse Helms.

She got a message,
Just another beep on the message machine.
Said I feel so guilty,
I think it's time that I come clean.
I thought I knew better.
I thought I had chosen the proper words to say.
I wanted to be so honest.
Tell you a story you've never heard,
Now that I finally got the nerve.
I wanna fuck you, Tipper.
I wanna fuck you, Tipper.
'Cause you showed me that things are still the same.
Everybody's parents turn out lame.
I wanna say "fuck you," Tipper Gore

He heard her crying,
But he couldn't make out a word she said.
She was alone and frightened.
She was wishing she was dead.
She knew it was hopeless.
He was way up there, and she was way down here.
Still she called his name out
In a voice that was loud and clear.
She said I know it sounds so weird,
But I wanna fuck you, Johnny.
I wanna fuck you, Johnny.
I wanna hold you down
And fuck you while you squirm
And force you to bring that thing to term.
I wanna say "fuck you," John Paul II.

Got to say "fuck you" Tipper Gore.
Just got to say "fuck you" Jesse Helms.

rollhead · July-5th-2008, 02:52 PM

I see where the New York Times called him the "beacon" of conservatism. More like the sump hole.

Squaredancecalling Steve · July-5th-2008, 03:26 PM

"Jesse Helms, my friend and long-time senator from my home state of North Carolina, was a man of consistent conviction to conservative ideals and courage to faithfully serve God and country based on principle, not popularity or politics.

In the tradition of Presidents Jefferson, Adams and Monroe -- who also passed on July 4th -- it is fitting that such a patriot who fought for free markets and free people would die on Independence Day. As we celebrate the birth of our nation, I thank God for the blessings we enjoy, which Senator Helms worked so hard to preserve.

Over three decades in the United States Congress, Senator Helms was a loyal and effective leader on behalf of our State, with whom I connected during times of national crisis. He was the first person to call me when President Reagan was shot, even before it was reported as news.

Senator Helm's wife, Dot; their three children; and seven grandchildren are in my thoughts and prayers as they honor his legendary life and extraordinary legacy."

(For some reason, reading this made me like thelil's theory a little more.)