Russians in the sauna ...

[rollhead]

Back in the old days, during the Cold War, I was trained in Russian at the Defense Language Institute. Unfortunately, I have forgotten most of it.

But ... recently, I have been noticing that there are several sinister looking Russians who hang out in the sauna at local YMCA and speak animatedly in -- you guessed it, Russian!

I figure that I need to keep track of what they are saying, in case they are envoys for Putin, trying to hatch a plot, in concert with Al Qadi, against apple pie, Old Glory, and everything else that makes this country the greatest on God's green earth.

I am thinking of my various options. 1) brush up on my Russian, so I can jot down what they say after I get out of the sauna. 2) find some kind of recording device that can withstand the 185 degree temperature of the sauna. 3) figure out a way to secret it on my person when I am just wearing swimming trunks.

I'd be very interested in hearing other people ideas on how I can single handedly thwart this apparent plot against all that is decent.

(I will gladly give you credit in the acknowledgements of the book I plan on writing after the dust settles.)

[rollhead]

You might wonder why I think they are hatching a plot even though I only understand only about every third word of what they are saying.

Well, its been my experience that Russians usually hatch plots in steam rooms (i.e., Turkish baths), NOT saunas.

So, you can understand why I became very suspicious when they were plotting in the sauna -- I knew something serious was in the making.

Undercover photo of Russians hatching plot in steamroom:

[rollhead]

I think they know I am on to them.... last night, they invited Natasha in to distract me from their conversation:

[lonely-at-the-top]

I don't know what shocked me the most:

1. the alledged russian attack on U.S. / YMCA sanctuaries or
2. someone wearing swim trunks in a sauna

In any case I would recommend a 5 months intensive brush up with 10 hours of consecutive tuition per day and be it just to keep you away from that dangerous hotspot. People keep disappearing form JC for all kinds of reaons, it'll be a shame to lose you to some borscht munching oil 'n gas tycoons.

[rollhead]

Natasha tried to coax me out of my trunks... but I am wise to that trick. (I think she suspected that I was hiding a large microphone there.)

[groover]

Originally Posted by rollhead

I figure that I need to keep track of what they are saying, in case they are envoys for Putin, trying to hatch a plot, in concert with Al Qadi, against apple pie, Old Glory, and everything else that makes this country the greatest on God's green earth.

Considering Russia's bitter experience in Afghanistan fighting the Taliban, and their conflicts with Muslims in Chechnya, it's doubtful they'd be cooperating with Al-Qaeda on anything, outside of your active imagination, rollhead.

[rollhead]

Actually, they didn't fight the Taliban in Afghanistan. The Russians fought the U.S. supported Afghan Mujahdeen, which spawned the Taliban and al-Qaeda.

The Taliban and al-Qaeda were our allies, now they are our enemies.

You, of all people, should know Exodus by heart:

"I will be an enemy to your enemies and will oppose those who oppose you."

The Russians and al-Qaeda are like the Pharisees and the Herodians who united against Jesus.

Now you know why they are plotting in the YMCA!!!

You are helping make it clearer to me! Thanks.

[groover]

Yes, I've heard that saying, the enemy of my enemy is my friend. That's the principle on which we supported the mujahadeen, more or less.

It's not always true.

Sometimes the enemy of your enemy is still also your enemy.

I doubt the Russians trust Al-Qaeda enough to cooperate with them in any way, since Al-Qaeda is actively supporting the Chechnyan rebels.

But I'll leave you to your own paranoid delusions.

[lonely-at-the-top]

I already like Natasha; and be it for obeying the proper Sauna dress code.
BTW : Time's up 'Tasha!

[rollhead]

Originally Posted by lonely-at-the-top

I already like Natasha; and be it for obeying the proper Sauna dress code.
BTW : Time's up 'Tasha!

I like 'tasha too.... I am going along with her effort to seduce me... she doesn't know that I will never become a double agent. But I won't stop her from trying to.

[lonely-at-the-top]

Originally Posted by rollhead

she doesn't know that I will never become a double agent

What makes you so self-confident? Didnt you notice the warning signs all flashing: her time's already up; it's a 185 Fahrenheit and yet she doesn't even sweat a f.. drop! She's all set to play hardball, I'd be careful if I were Rollie, but then again....

[Tom Storer]

So, Rollie, during the cold war you were a militant anti-communist?

[GoodSpeak]

Originally Posted by rollhead

(I will gladly give you credit in the acknowledgements of the book I plan on writing after the dust settles.)

There's dust in the sauna?


Maybe Natasha could investigate....BTW, nice distraction, Rollie. Looks like you've got your work cut out for you on this one.

[claude]

Googling "Russians in the sauna" brings up the following picture:



Rather disturbing...

[rollhead]

Originally Posted by lonely-at-the-top

What makes you so self-confident? Didnt you notice the warning signs all flashing: her time's already up; it's a 185 Fahrenheit and yet she doesn't even sweat a f.. drop! She's all set to play hardball, I'd be careful if I were Rollie, but then again....

Do you think that I am going to trust someone who has Putin as an avatar? Think again!

[rollhead]

Originally Posted by Tom Storer

So, Rollie, during the cold war you were a militant anti-communist?

Not when I was with Natasha, no. You think I would blow my cover?

By the way, did I ever show you where I worked during the Cold War?

Check it out:

http://www.ccc.de/teufelsberg/

[groover]

SAUNAS

Troitska Sauna
Krasnoarmyiska 66, Kiev
phone: 227 4068
Classical Russian sauna
Price: 150 UAH/2 hours








How 'bout this one in Kiev? Looks like it might be worth the 150 UAH.

[rollhead]

Originally Posted by claude

Googling "Russians in the sauna" brings up the following picture:



Rather disturbing...

A sauna truck! And you thought those commies never came up with a good idea.

[rollhead]

Originally Posted by groover

SAUNAS

Troitska Sauna
Krasnoarmyiska 66, Kiev
phone: 227 4068
Classical Russian sauna
Price: 150 UAH/2 hours








How 'bout this one in Kiev? Looks like it might be worth the 150 UAH.

Those are Krasnoarmyska (Red Army) girls. I would recognize them anywhere.

[rollhead]

More pics of the Russian sauna truck:

[GoodSpeak]

The guy in the middle is weirding me out.

[steve(thelil)]

Originally Posted by GoodSpeak

The guy in the middle is weirding me out.

I kinda like him.

[Dr Dave]

Real Finnish sauna: You can tell by the beer. I'm guessing the pig was a model.

[lonely-at-the-top]

Originally Posted by rollhead

Do you think that I am going to trust someone who has Putin as an avatar? Think again!

..damn, I knew something was wrong

[lonely-at-the-top]

Originally Posted by Dr Dave

Real Finnish sauna: You can tell by the beer. I'm guessing the pig was a model.

Ever been to a Finnish original? It's Vodka in beer bottles


@ Rollie: you were a real "Berliner" !

[rollhead]

Ich bin Berliner... as opposed to "Ich bin ein Berliner," which means I am a Berliner pfannkuchen, or a jelly roll.

[rollhead]

By the way, I poked my head in the door of the sauna last night... no Russians were in there. I am afraid someone might have blown my cover.

I am going in earlier tonight to see if they are timing their visits to miss me.

[GoodSpeak]

You keep going into the sauna like that and you'll end up weighing 90 pounds or something.


Pace yourself, Rollie.

[GoodSpeak]

Originally Posted by steve(thelil)

I kinda like him.

Ack.

[lonely-at-the-top]

Don't you worry Rollie, no covers blown, no harm done: tuesday night is traditional moonshine night for russian espionage networkers(that would include your no-sweat Tasha, too)

BTW I am impressed to the highest extend by your language skills