Invasion of the Penis Snatchers

Gentle Giant · October-10th-2003, 11:21 AM

Couldn't pass up the opp to share this news item. Really makes you appreciate the US Constitution.

Suspected penis snatcher beaten to death in Gambia
10/10/2003

BANJUL, Gambia (Reuters) - A 28-year-old man accused of stealing a man's penis through sorcery was beaten to death in the West African country of Gambia Thursday, police said.

A police spokesman told Reuters that Baba Jallow was lynched by about 10 people in the town of Serekunda, about 9 miles from the capital, Banjul.

Reports of penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, with purported victims claiming that alleged sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear in order to extort cash in the promise of a cure.

The police spokesman said many men in Serekunda were now afraid to shake hands, and he urged people not to believe reports of "vanishing" genitals. Belief in sorcery is widespread in West Africa.

Seven alleged penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs in Ghana in 1997.

RBS · October-10th-2003, 11:33 AM

I don't quite get it. Someone steals your penis?

And then they get lynched? Does it hurt when they steal it?

And how do you prove that your penis was stolen?

Monte Smith · October-10th-2003, 11:34 AM

"Seven alleged penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs in Ghana in 1997."

"Alledged?!" Goddamn liberal media.

Actually, this penis snatching incident reminds me of a little humor from my college days. We were rolling down thru Georgia, headed to Atlanta I guess, when my pal Gillen the Belgian noticed a bumpersticker that read "I like snatching kisses and vice versa."

Poor Gillen was so high on European hash that he could only mutter over and over, "Catching snitches? What does this mean?"

That anecdote and this Reuters report proves that all foreigners are deluded savages.

Tom Storer · October-10th-2003, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by RBS
I don't quite get it. Someone steals your penis?

I'd be interested to know how many men in these incidents will come right out and say "my penis is missing," and demonstrate. However, note the phrasing of the article:

Quote:

purported victims claiming that alleged sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear

Me? I was touched by an alleged sorcerer. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

RBS · October-10th-2003, 02:08 PM

You're so self-deprecating, Tom.

Maybe these guys just jumped in a cold river and blamed it on an "alleged sorcerer."

Gentle Giant · October-10th-2003, 02:17 PM

Funny that the dick swiper's name is Baba, kind of like Bobbitt.

Pete C · October-10th-2003, 02:59 PM

An alleged sorceress once touched my genitals. They didn't shrink.

HenryMc · October-10th-2003, 06:21 PM

Maybe he was listening to KING MISSILE

" I woke up this morning with a bad hangover,
and my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.
This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home when I think it's going to get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party,
get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
rememberwhat I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment
and I couldn't find it,
so I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
coz for some reason,
I leave it there sometimes,
but not this time.
So I told them if it pops up
to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man
and I really hate to have to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast.
Then as I walked down Second Avenue toward St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted 22 bucks,
but I talked him down to 17.
I took it home,
washed it off,
and put it back on.
I was happy again.
Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know. Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis."