Eating People Is Wrong

[Monte Smith]

Fijians say sorry to eaten Briton's family
BBC

The family of an English missionary who was eaten by Fijian tribespeople 136 years ago are to receive an apology.

According to local media, the remote village of Tui Navatusila on the Fijian island of Viti Levu has invited the descendants of the late Reverend Thomas Baker to visit next month.

Reverend Baker was killed and cooked by the people of Tui Navatusila on 21 July, 1867, after he took a comb out of a chief's hair.

It is forbidden to touch the head of a chief in Fiji.

One villager who took part in the feast was quoted in contemporary accounts as saying "we ate everything but his boots".

One of his boots is reportedly on display in the Fiji Museum.



Fiji's Prime Minister, Laisenia Qarase, is expected to attend the traditional apology.

The Fiji Village web site reported that the inhabitants of Tui Navatusila believed they were suffering from a curse because of the actions of their forefathers.

Reverend Baker is the only white man to have fallen victim to Fiji cannibals.

Cannibalism died out in Fiji in the mid-19th century with the end of warring and the acceptance of Christianity.

Tuesday, 14 October, 2003, 11:28 GMT 12:28 UK

[bluenoter]

Eating People Is Wrong

Yeah, yeah. Another value judgment.

[tippy]

Originally posted by Monte Smith
Eating People is Wrong

I'll remember that.

[Pete C]

Nibbling is OK, though.

[tippy]

Snacking, but not unto death.

Cute avatar. Is that Spanky's dog...forgot his name...wait, is it Petey?

[Monte Smith]

Unfortunately, I can't find an image of the old Penguin paperback my dad had:



This is Bradbury's first novel, from 1959 or 60. The title has always stuck with me as indicative of good sense.

[Noj]

Damn, and I took Governator Ahhhnold's word that "eating isn't cheating."

[Underhound]

Eating People Is Wrong

I don't know about that. If prepared correctly, and with the right spices...

[Pete C]

Originally posted by tippy
...wait, is it Petey?

Yes. He was reincarnated as me. I couldn't bring myself to eat dog meat when I traveled in Asia.

[tippy]

Good choice! Better to snack on da people.

If Monte says it's wrong, it must be right.

[Monte Smith]

Originally posted by tippy
If Monte says it's wrong, it must be right.

You say that now, but in 136 years you may be apologizing.

[Tanager]

Originally posted by Underhound
I don't know about that. If prepared correctly, and with the right spices...

If vinegar and crushed red pepper works for pig, why not for people...

/me goes to kill and cook his neighbor...

[Tom Storer]

If anyone is familiar with the most delicious ways to cook human flesh, it'll be Pete. He can probably recommend a good cannibal restaurant on every continent.

[mke]

Originally posted by Monte Smith
According to local media, the remote village of Tui Navatusila on the Fijian island of Viti Levu has invited the descendants of the late Reverend Thomas Baker to visit next month.

I wonder if they'll go, it sounds like a trap. As the saying goes: "Once bitten, twice shy."

[tippy]

Originally posted by Monte Smith
You say that now, but in 136 years you may be apologizing.

Hey if my sins runoff to the great grandkids, what do I care--I'll be dead.

[tippy]

Originally posted by Tanager
If vinegar and crushed red pepper works for pig, why not for people...

hey, speak for yourself. tippy tastes like chicken. If I could be jamaican jerk tippy, that'd be alright with me.

[clinthopson]

I wonder if they served the Brit with mint sauce and followed the entree with pudding.

[Uli]

I like my Brits "Well done".

Vinnegar, tipy, that's it.

Brits & chips, baby!

[Chaz Longue]

I miss the late (very) English comedy team FLANDERS AND SWANN,
Easily the funniest comedians I've ever heard. Imagine a british Tom Lehrer - times two.

This is a dialogue between them with piano accompaniment. If you've never heard them this won't floor you - but if you have, it'll bring back fond memories.

Anybody remember Flanders and Swann?



Seated one day at the Tom-tom,
I heard a welcome shout from the kitchens:
Come and get it!
Roast leg of insurance salesman.
A chorus of 'yum's ran round the table.
Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum....
Except for Junior, who pushed away his shell,
Got up from his log, and said
'I don't want any part of it'.
What? Why not?
I don't eat people,
Eh?
I won't eat people,
Huh?
I don't eat people,
I must be going deaf.
Eating people is wrong.
It's wrong?
Don't eat people,
Have you gone clean out of your mind?
I won't eat people,
What's the matter with the lad?
Don't eat people,
He keeps on repeating,
Eating people is bad.

But people have always eaten people,
What else is there to eat?
If the Jou-Jou had meant us not to eat people,
He wouldn't have made us of meat.
Don't eat people,
Oh no, not again.
I won't eat people,
All the day long,
Don't eat people,
He keeps on repeating,
Eating people is wrong.

Well, I've never heard of a more ridiculous idea in all my born days. To think that a son of mine should grow up to be a sissy... Me, chief assistant to the assistant chief. I suppose you realise, son, that if this gets around we may never get self-government.
I won't eat people!
Have you been talking to one of your Mothers again? You're not getting to be one of these cranks that thinks that eating people is cruel, are you, you see a man sitting in a pot and think he's suffering? Oh, it's not like that at all. Why, he's just had an invigorating chase through the forest. He's sitting there in the nice warm water, with all the carrots and dumplings and things, he's thinking 'Oh, the pleasure and happiness I'm going to give to a whole heap of people', that man in the pot there, he enjoys it.
Eating people is wrong!
Look, son, I admine your sincerity, always be sincere, whether you mean it or not. You're young, when you're young, you think you can change the whole world overnight, even eating people, I know, I've been young myself. Take it from your old dad, you've just got to learn to take the world as it is.
I won't let another man pass my lips!
I know why you say 'Don't eat people', because you are a coward, Francis, that's your trouble, yes, a yellow-livered coward. You wouldn't mind eating people if you weren't afraid of ending up in the pot yourself. Go on like this and you're liable to get me into hot water.

I won't eat people!
That's enough!
I don't eat people!
I don't want to....
Eating people is wrong!
Communist!
Going around saying 'don't eat people, that's the way to make people hate you!
We always have eaten people, always will eat people, you can't change human nature.I won't eat people!
I don't eat people!
I won't eat people!
I don't eat people!
I won't eat people!
I don't eat people!
I won't eat people!
I don't eat people!
It must be someone he ate.
Eating people is out!
I give up. You used to be a regular anthropophagi. If this crazy idealistic idea of your was to catch on, I just don't know where we would all be. It would just about ruin our entire internal economy. Fortunately, I suppose it catching on isn't very likely. Why, you might just as well go around saying 'don't fight people', for example?Don't fight people? Ha Ha!
Oh, that's my boy.
Ridiculous!

[Monte Smith]

Originally posted by Monte Smith
The Fiji Village web site reported that the inhabitants of Tui Navatusila believed they were suffering from a curse because of the actions of their forefathers.

They're only apologizing because of the curse. They're not sorry.

[Uli]

From the meats perspective, waht's the diff, Monte between being cooked and a smart bomb?

[tippy]

Originally posted by clinthopson
I wonder if they served the Brit with mint sauce and followed the entree with pudding.

Damn, getting fery hungry!

[Monte Smith]

Originally posted by Uli
From the meats perspective, waht's the diff, Monte between being cooked and a smart bomb?

Cannibalism is funnier, Uli. At least if it was 136 years ago.

[Uli]

Top 13 Little-Known Hannibal the Cannibal Lecter Morsels
Tuesday, October 22 :: 10:51 a.m. :: permalink

13. He's a leg man.

12. Serves nudists with dressing on the side.

11. Likes the tomatoes on a tossed Sally.

10. Best dip: the Fat Free Blanche.

9. Best dish: Dictator Tots.

8. Best lunch: Vegetable Soupy Sales and pies.

7. Holds pinkies out when he lips a Manwich.

6. Says sniveling cowards make tasty chicken fingers.

5. Plays with his food: Enjoys a good Scrabble hand, and Jacks.

4. Last dinner and a movie: The Three Faces of Eve and some
movie.

3. Cool snack: Munch a bunch of free toes and Pop's corns.

2. Favorite wine: Baby Pool, 1986.

And the number one little-known Hannibal the Cannibal Lecter
morsel:

He sees you when you're steeping. He knows when you're a cake.

[Brian Olewnick]

Potentially offensive material below
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This reminds me of an entirely tasteless (so to speak) cartoon that appeared many years ago in some NatLamp collection (probably "Cartoons Even We Wouldn't Dare Print"). A cannibal is walking toward a group of hungry tribesmen, a large cauldron containing a missionary woman in the background. "I'm afraid we'll have to have her New England Style instead of Manhattan. She's having her period."

[Monte Smith]

"Potentially offensive," he says.

[Brian Olewnick]

During our recent move, I found my copy of said cartoons. Man, I wish they were available on the Net. Some hysterically offensive stuff in there.

[patricia]

Considering that the animals which are eaten by people are animals which are herbivores, at the very least, before eating somebody, one should ascertain whether they, the potential dinner, are vegetarian. If they are, they fall into the "food" catagory and are thus, food. If they are omivores, they don't.
Seems only health conscience and polite, to me.

[Jazzzoline]

... Imagining the women fighting over his "meat" ...

[mke]

Originally posted by Brian Olewnick
"I'm afraid we'll have to have her New England Style instead of Manhattan

I'd like to be offended, but I don't know what the difference is between New England and Manhattan styles.