Translatorese & gobbledygook

[Nate Dorward]

I thought I'd start a thread for people to post entertaining examples of unintended impenetrability. I was reading Plato's The Republic in Paul Shorey's translation (this is the old Loeb Library translation, though the edition I'm using is an anthology). Here's a passage right from the start (Socrates is conducting an imaginary dialogue with Simonides via his defender, Polemarchus):

Tell me, Simonides, the art that renders what that is due and befitting to what is called the art of medicine? What do you take it would have been his answer?

Obviously, [Polemarchus] said, the art that renders to bodies drugs, foods, and drinks.

And the art that renders to what things what that is due and befitting is called the culinary art?

Seasoning to meats.

Good. In the same way tell me the art that renders what to whom would be denominated justice.

If we are to follow the previous examples, Socrates, it is that which renders benefits and harms to friends and enemies.

I get the gist here but as far as I can tell the first and especially last questions defy parsing.

Any other favourite examples of tortuous English or awkward translatorese?

[Monte Smith]

I can't believe Pauly Shore even translated Plato.

[Tom Storer]

Wow, that reads like something from the Alta Vista translation engine.

Nate, I find both the first and last sentences parsable, after a little copy editing. I read the first sentence this way:

Tell me, Simonides, the art that renders what that is due and befitting to what is called the art of medicine? What do you take it would have been his answer?

equals

Tell me, Simonides, the art that is called "the art of medicine" is the art that renders what that is due and befitting to what?

And the answer is: it is the art that renders drugs, food and drink to bodies.

I'd work out the last sentence this way:

In the same way tell me the art that renders what to whom would be denominated justice.

equals

In the same way, tell me, the art that renders what to whom would be denominated justice?

equals

In the same way, tell me, the art that one would denominate "justice" is the art that renders what to whom?

[Tanager]

Nate, what is the actual page number of the passage?

(FWIW, I studied Ancient Greek for a number of years, starting in high school...I'm just curious to see if I can get enough rust off to come up with something, and I'm curious to see if it'll be intelligible enough to share here...)

[Uli]

Originally posted by Tanager
I'm curious to see if it'll be intelligible enough to share here...)

On need to be shy, Tanager.

[Tanager]

Originally posted by Uli
On need to be shy, Tanager.

Hey, if what I come up with is entertainingly bad, I'll share that too, no worries.

[Chris D]

Do you not be happy with me as the translator of the books of you?

[Nate Dorward]

It's Republic 332c-d (using the marginal system of references--most editions will have these running down the margin or in the headers or footers). My paperback of the Jowett edition isn't here so I can't compare to its rendering.

Tom--yes I think that's about what the sentences mean.....but examples of the translators art they ain't!

Hey, anyone else how examples of fine specimens of gobbledygook to share? I suppose I picked the Plato because it's a good example of something that was obviously clear & intelligent enough in the original, but rendered opaque via translation. Versus mere poor writing, though that has its charms too (anyone else similarly addicted to Anthony Braxton inscrutable liner notes? they have a perverse charm to them...). Then there's other oddities--for instance I picked up Jean Stambough's translation of Heidegger's Being & Time in a bookshop ("picked up" physically, not purchased) & noticed that she managed to get through the text in about 2/3rds the pages of the "standard" translation.