How Do You Propose To Die?

[Dr Dave]

It's been a few years, time to raise the subject again. I hope to die drunk on Dom Perignon.

[Pete C]

I want to die with you holding my hand, Finch, singing April In Paris softly in my ear.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh................................................

[Monte Smith]

With the circle unbroken: beside my wife and a table full of great-grand-children who never heard of Islamic terrorism.

[Tom Storer]

In my sleep, many decades from now.

What's with people calling each other "Finch"? I've noticed that lately here.

[Squaredancecalling Steve]

Screw dat -- I'm working on getting a special exemption.

Oops, sorry Tom.

Actually when Dr. Dave dedicated that thread to me so many moons ago, I felt a genuine love coming from him. So I figured a pet name was in order and kindly asked him if he would mind if I called him Finch. He agreed, saying that I could call him anything I wanted, just don't call him late for dinner.

I figured one of two things happened. Either there was a true love there, or else seeing that the thread somewhat backfired on him he was just in an "aw, fuck it" mood, and ready for anything. My bet is on the former.

Either way,

The rest, my friend, is history.

Now, if anyone else is calling anyone Finch around here, I may have to seek legal action.

[Groovie]

When I'm about to split the scene I would like to dig some, Bird. Monk, Bud, Billie, Satch, Pres, Stitt, Trane, Sarah and the very underated Sonny Criss wailing " Up Up And Away."

[Gary Sisco]

Don't worry, Monte. Whatever happens, it'll be down the memory hole long before that, anyway. The collective memory is only about ten days right now and shrinking ...

I've long had my mind made up, and Bronwyn knows and fully supports, that when I begin to suspect that I'm failing, physically (by my own standards), or mentally (by my own standards), that's that. In short, if I suspect I'm going to lose my able-bodied or able-mindedness, or if I'm in pain that I find untolerable (by my own standards) I'm going to take matters into my own hands and walk outside, while I still can, with my 9mm, so as not to make a mess for someone else to have to clean up. Let the birds and animals do it. They're faster and more competent, anyway. Barrel in the mouth, pointed slightly upward so the round takes out all the motor functions, instantly. All done.

I will never if I'm conscious consent to being in the position my old man was in this past week, attached to all that shit and gasping like a fish out of water. No fucking way. Bronwyn knows already. I don't want *any* measures taken that are taken only to prolong "life." If I'm going out, anyway, and have the misfortune to find myself inna Babylon hospital and unable to leave under my own steam, Bronwyn has strict instructions (and the legal capacity) to refuse any treatment but palliative treatment for pain and dignity while I ship out. She's also plenty hard enough, and we have several friends that are hard enough to do it for her, if necessary, and also to hold off anyone objecting, at least for long enough to get shit done according to my wishes. Half the ashes to be dumped next to my old buddy Rex, Dog of Doom (long may he live!) in our herb garden, and the other half under the matts in my mare Suzy's stall.

But I insist on a jazzman vet's send off, as well, with the blues dirge to begin, "Taps" to follow (if anyone still knows how to play it), the traditional three volleys in the air, and then a second-line jam to follow that and get the party rolling.

[jesus marion joseph]

In the saddle, a la Nelson Rockefeller.

[Monte Smith]

Huh. So far, nobody has said "thru overzealous auto-erotic asphixiation, like that guy from INXS."

Go figger. I thought I knew this board better than that.

[Gentle Giant]

I don't propose to die; I propose to get married.

Death is simply the cure.

[cookie]

Old, incredibly wealthy, and well-dressed.

[hornplayer]

Originally posted by cookie
Old, incredibly wealthy, and well-dressed.

DITTO!

[clinthopson]

Death is like sex, except after death you don't get nauseous.



Thanks, Woody

[bostontricky]

- - - - - - - - -

Nah, that wouldn't work.

Hopefully, not in an unexpected manner. Three of my grandparents made it into their 80s, my grandmother is still hanging in there at 89. The wild card comes from the lineage of my mother's father who died of a heart attack in his mid-50s, before I was born. Several of his brothers and half-brothers kicked off relatively early as well, including a couple in their 30s IIRC.

That's probably my biggest fear: going before I'm ready. I gave up serious drinking six or seven years ago, generally eat vegetarian (instead of ingesting copious amounts of kielbasa and Polish pastries), and ate more oat bran for breakfast today than my great-uncles collectively ate during their entire lifetimes. Prosit.

[Jimmy Cantiello]

I don't plan to die...................

[chuckyd4]

Don't know how I'm gonna die yet (only 23), but I definitely plan to have Booker Little's "Man of Words" playing from his Candid CD at my funeral. Frankly I don't even want some fuckers I didn't really care about in life telling stories about the time I saved a stray cat or some bullshit like that, I just want them to come in, sit down, shut their mouths and listen to Booker Little play; then leave. That's the most beautiful funeral piece I've heard.

My lady friend has been instructed, too.

[Jazzooo]

A couple of answers.

Either from the ground up, or all at once.


Or the Emo Phillips answer:

When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather--not screaming like the passengers in his car.

[moneyp]

Originally posted by Jazzooo
Or the Emo Phillips answer:

When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather--not screaming like the passengers in his car.

ROFL. I like that!

[Monte Smith]

Speaking of buried and dead, what ever happened to Emo Phillips??

[bostontricky]

Alive and well, and coming to a comedy club near Monte.

He did get a haircut somewhere along the way...

[Ron Thorne]

I'm with Jimmy, but if absolutely necessary, I'll accept Emo's response.

I also like Cookie's ... response that is.

[Pete C]

How did Prince Charles propose to Di?

[Valerie]

Originally posted by Pete C
How did Prince Charles propose to Di?

I actually die all the time from Pete's posts!! They just kill me!!

[Ron Thorne]

Oh that Pete! I quite agree, Valerie.

[LeMo]

Alive!

[jeff54]

The sad reality is, my last days will most likely be spent in a really crummy old age home where I spend all my waking hours in a chair in front of the TV, listing to one side and drooling on myself, getting half my breakfast, lunch, and dinner on my bathrobe. My kids having gradually cut back their vists to once a month, and the nurses glad to be rid of just another pain in the ass old man.
Actually if you replace the crummy old age home for my crummy home and my wife for the nurse that's pretty much the way my life is now.

[Monte Smith]

Originally posted by jeff54
The sad reality is, my last days will most likely be spent in a really crummy old age home where I spend all my waking hours in a chair in front of the TV, listing to one side and drooling on myself, getting half my breakfast, lunch, and dinner on my bathrobe. My kids having gradually cut back their vists to once a month, and the nurses glad to be rid of just another pain in the ass old man.
Actually if you replace the crummy old age home for my crummy home and my wife for the nurse that's pretty much the way my life is now.

[Clap clap clap!]

That's beautiful.

[patricia]

I guess, surrounded by those I love, listening to great jazz. Suddenly someone will say, "What's the matter with Patricia?". There I'll be, dressed great, still holding my glass of wine, sitting upright, but dead at ninety-two.

or:

Still lookin' great, listening to great jazz, in the arms of someone who loves me.