I hate everybody

Dr Dave · November-30th-2003, 06:51 PM

You all suck.

Captain Hate · November-30th-2003, 07:01 PM

One never knows what form the holiday spirit will take.

GoodSpeak · November-30th-2003, 07:07 PM

Aw, put a cork, er, sorry...a twist top in it.

Kinda loses something in the translation now, don't it? ;-)

gonzo · December-1st-2003, 02:42 AM

why do we all suck dr. dave??

craigz · December-1st-2003, 03:36 AM

I for one refuse to suck Dr Dave.

Squaredancecalling Steve · December-1st-2003, 05:56 AM

I wouldn't touch this thread with a ten foot Pole.

Or even an eight-foot Hungarian.

[ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom]

Gary Sisco · December-1st-2003, 08:25 AM

Fuck you.

jesus marion joseph · December-1st-2003, 08:46 AM

A new Scrotum Boy is born?

Tom Storer · December-1st-2003, 09:01 AM

Dr. Dave, I forgive you. That's how magnanimous I am.

jesus marion joseph · December-1st-2003, 09:16 AM

No, wait: Scrotum Boy hated *himself*. Dr. Dave hates everyone else. Sort of the opposite of Scrotum Boy. Maybe Vulva Boy?

tippy · December-1st-2003, 09:18 AM

LOL, Capt. Hate. Dave's on the wrong medication. (Wellbutrin, baby...you won't even miss your short-term memory--just make sure you separate your doses into a pillbox and leave the keys in the car.) Or why *do* the holidays suck...is it the commercials where everyone has grins pasted on their faces as they delight in dancing snowmen? Is it having to be paraded before extended family who find you positively enigmatic (in a pariah sort of way)? ("Aren't you married YET?!? You're not getting any younger you know." "Have you tried a service?" "Just so you know, I am FOR gay rights.") Is it the passage of time--one moment it's 2003 and a mere second later it becomes 2004 and you are a whole year older and what the hell are you doing with life? The realization that things are no different after one whole year is a real slap uside the head: Hope is for fools. New Year's drunk is always a bad drunk, without the cozy layer of denial--an escapeless escape--why is that? What the hell is life anyway but a series of immersions in escape projects, focus on something that will "get you ahead" only to discover in the end that you are killing yourself and for what? For WHAT I ask???

Dave's right, happy people are pretenders. I hate everybody too!

Zane, Zane, Zane, ouvre le chien.

stonemonkts · December-1st-2003, 09:31 AM

Some people need a mantra for the Holidays. You can pick any of mine:

Every day above ground is a good one.

Life's too short to be this long.

It takes all kinds. Just keep 'em far away from me.

During this time of year, ignorance is truly bliss.

The horror.

Tom Storer · December-1st-2003, 10:15 AM

Just say to yourself: I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

Chris D · December-1st-2003, 10:18 AM

So, it looks like the Doc has been spinning Randy Newman again.

tippy · December-1st-2003, 10:27 AM

>>Every day above ground is a good one.<<

#1 (at least) is a keeper!

>>Just say to yourself: I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.<<

Yes, yes!

clinthopson · December-1st-2003, 11:29 AM

Doc, in spite of your negativity, we all WUV you!

graypencil · December-1st-2003, 01:28 PM

for de holidaze ,I recommend DrD ( Dave, not Demento )

don him now his gay apperal (sp?)

settle down in front of a nice fire ..

do some Paxil, Xanax, and a nice tawny port ..

and view a loop of " Eraserhead" until January 17 , 2004

hornplayer · December-1st-2003, 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tom Storer
Just say to yourself: I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

ROTFLMAO, Tom! [/

HenryMc · December-1st-2003, 03:44 PM

Dave baby say it ain't true
cussin'us out, that ain't you
man, you're the cat with the wit
if you were clara bow you'd have 'it'
but I guess it's thanksgiving and to be free
you've let out another personality!

Doc...man put on some bird, grab a smoke and some good scotch and relax man

Squaredancecalling Steve · December-1st-2003, 03:48 PM

The frontal lobotomy line IS funny, and has been at least since Tom Waits used it on Fernwood Tonight.

Monte Smith · December-1st-2003, 05:01 PM

Bullshit, Dave. You can't possibly hate the 1984 Trinity Christian College volleyball team!

Catch the spirit!

walto · December-1st-2003, 05:17 PM

I hear several of those girls could really "set"!

Squaredancecalling Steve · December-1st-2003, 05:22 PM

KATHARINE:
I hate men.
I can't abide 'em even now and then.
Than ever marry one of them, I'd rest a maiden rather,
For husbands are a boring lot and only give you bother.
Of course, I'm awfully glad that Mother had to marry Father,
But I hate men.
Of all the types I've ever met within our democracy,
I hate most the athlete with his manner bold and brassy,
He may have hair upon his chest but, sister, so has Lassie.
Oh, I hate men!
I hate men.
They should be kept like piggies in a pen.
Avoid the trav'ling salesman though a tempting
Tom he may be,
For on your wedding night he may be off to far Araby,
While he's away in Mandalay is thee who have the baby,
Oh I hate men.
If thou shouldst wed a businessman, be wary, oh, be wary.
He'll tell you he's detained in town on business necessary,
His bus'ness is the bus'ness with his pretty secretary,
Oh I hate men!
I hate men
Though roosters they, I will not play the hen.
If you espouse and older man through girlish optimism,
He'll always stay at home at night and make no criticism,
Though you may call it love, the doctors call it rheumatism.
Oh, I hate men.
From all I've read, alone in bed, from A to Zed, about 'em.
Since love is blind, then from the mind, all womankind should rout 'em,
But, ladies, you must answer too, what would we do without 'em?
Still, I hate men!

-- Cole Porter

Dr Dave · December-2nd-2003, 09:27 AM

Gimme them volleyball girls, when I'm through with them they'll be soulless zombies shot through with blood-lust and self-disgust.

walto · December-2nd-2003, 11:09 AM

You're too late, Dave. Many of them have been since about 1989.

Was it Reagan? Who really knows.

Tom Storer · December-2nd-2003, 11:39 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Squaredancecalling Steve
The frontal lobotomy line IS funny, and has been at least since Tom Waits used it on Fernwood Tonight.

It's been around a lot longer than that. I first heard it decades ago.

GoodSpeak · December-2nd-2003, 05:03 PM

Um.

Fernwood Tonight was decades ago ;-)

What a cool show, wasn't it? Martin Mull kills me.

Squaredancecalling Steve · December-2nd-2003, 05:41 PM

>>Um.

Fernwood Tonight was decades ago ;-)

What a cool show, wasn't it? Martin Mull kills me.<<

And Fred Willard as the sidekick. And bandleader Frank deVol (it's his band on Ella's great "Swinging Cristmas" album) as Happy Kime, always the butt of Martin's jokes.

Dr Dave · December-2nd-2003, 11:09 PM

Tippy:

The Dog Is Us

The title essay in a book of them by Marcelle Clements of the Village Voice. She says in the way long ago when we were stoned in college or someplace that this dog would walk up, and it would just seem so hilariously pathetic to us. That was the way long ago. Today, the dog is us: When we're stoned we can be excruciatingly self-aware, and that is a really uncomfortable feeling, and that's why we stopped smoking dope. That's what she says. Me, I have cats, so there's no issue. Cats never seem pathetic. Well, unless they want something, and they think looking pathetic will do the trick.

GoodSpeak · December-2nd-2003, 11:13 PM

Slap on some Horace Parlan or Miles and mellow out, big guy.

We'll talk you down, OK?