Old April-3rd-2003, 12:50 PM   #1
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The Poetry of Donald Rumsfeld

My buddy just sent this to me, its from Slate. Ya'll hate him, but I like this man.


low concept
The Poetry of D.H. Rumsfeld
Recent works by the secretary of defense.
By Hart Seely
Posted Wednesday, April 2, 2003, at 10:03 AM PT

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld is an accomplished man. Not only is he guiding the war in Iraq, he has been a pilot, a congressman, an ambassador, a businessman, and a civil servant. But few Americans know that he is also a poet.


Until now, the secretary's poetry has found only a small and skeptical audience: the Pentagon press corps. Every day, Rumsfeld regales reporters with his jazzy, impromptu riffs. Few of them seem to appreciate it.

But we should all be listening. Rumsfeld's poetry is paradoxical: It uses playful language to address the most somber subjects: war, terrorism, mortality. Much of it is about indirection and evasion: He never faces his subjects head on but weaves away, letting inversions and repetitions confuse and beguile. His work, with its dedication to the fractured rhythms of the plainspoken vernacular, is reminiscent of William Carlos Williams'. Some readers may find that Rumsfeld's gift for offhand, quotidian pronouncements is as entrancing as Frank O'Hara's.

And so Slate has compiled a collection of Rumsfeld's poems, bringing them to a wider public for the first time. The poems that follow are the exact words of the defense secretary, as taken from the official transcripts on the Defense Department Web site.


The Unknown

As we know,
There are known knowns.
There are things we know we know.
We also know
There are known unknowns.
That is to say
We know there are some things
We do not know.
But there are also unknown unknowns,
The ones we don't know
We don't know.

—Feb. 12, 2002, Department of Defense news briefing


Glass Box

You know, it's the old glass box at the—
At the gas station,
Where you're using those little things
Trying to pick up the prize,
And you can't find it.
It's—

And it's all these arms are going down in there,
And so you keep dropping it
And picking it up again and moving it,
But—

Some of you are probably too young to remember those—
Those glass boxes,
But—

But they used to have them
At all the gas stations
When I was a kid.

—Dec. 6, 2001, Department of Defense news briefing


A Confession

Once in a while,
I'm standing here, doing something.
And I think,
"What in the world am I doing here?"
It's a big surprise.

—May 16, 2001, interview with the New York Times


Happenings

You're going to be told lots of things.
You get told things every day that don't happen.

It doesn't seem to bother people, they don't—
It's printed in the press.
The world thinks all these things happen.
They never happened.

Everyone's so eager to get the story
Before in fact the story's there
That the world is constantly being fed
Things that haven't happened.

All I can tell you is,
It hasn't happened.
It's going to happen.

—Feb. 28, 2003, Department of Defense briefing


The Digital Revolution

Oh my goodness gracious,
What you can buy off the Internet
In terms of overhead photography!

A trained ape can know an awful lot
Of what is going on in this world,
Just by punching on his mouse
For a relatively modest cost!

—June 9, 2001, following European trip


The Situation

Things will not be necessarily continuous.
The fact that they are something other than perfectly continuous
Ought not to be characterized as a pause.
There will be some things that people will see.
There will be some things that people won't see.
And life goes on.

—Oct. 12, 2001, Department of Defense news briefing


Clarity

I think what you'll find,
I think what you'll find is,
Whatever it is we do substantively,
There will be near-perfect clarity
As to what it is.

And it will be known,
And it will be known to the Congress,
And it will be known to you,
Probably before we decide it,
But it will be known.

—Feb. 28, 2003, Department of Defense briefing

Article URL: http://slate.msn.com/id/2081042/
Rumsfeld Says it like It Is
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Old April-3rd-2003, 12:56 PM   #2
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This is brilliant!

I'd always thought Rumsfeld's press conference talk was incoherent gibberish, but Salon is right - this is poetry. Beautiful. I love it.
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Old April-3rd-2003, 01:11 PM   #3
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Slate, not Salon, Tom. Salaam.
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Old April-3rd-2003, 03:02 PM   #4
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You can lead a horse to water but you can't put its
nose to the grindstone and hunt with the hounds.
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Old April-3rd-2003, 05:13 PM   #5
Ron Thorne
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Oh yeah. Rummy's a remarkably straightforward, modest man, a genius ... and an artist.

To answer your question
Supposes that there is indeed an answer
Even a question
For which or to which I would provide an answer
Provided that there is one, of course
And if there is or was one ... that is, a question or an answer
It would beg the question
Why should I answer?

- typical Rumsfeldian-style response

Last edited by Ron Thorne; April-4th-2003 at 04:13 AM.
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Old April-3rd-2003, 08:03 PM   #6
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thats pretty remarkable if its real
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Old April-3rd-2003, 08:24 PM   #7
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That's more painful than anything Nikki Giovanni ever coughed up!
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Old April-3rd-2003, 08:26 PM   #8
Dennis Gonzalez
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He and Bush and Quayle are from the same school of poetry.
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Old April-4th-2003, 03:39 AM   #9
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Actually, putting it in free verse form makes it much more comprehensible than when it's all mushed together in a paragraph. It makes his thought patterns suddenly clear.

I love "Glass Box."
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Old May-9th-2003, 08:24 PM   #10
Ron Thorne
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Yeah, what's not to like about ol' Rummy? Hell, even Saddam seemed to like him at one point in time. Remember, Monte?


( Iraqi President Saddam Hussein greets Donald Rumsfeld,

then special envoy of President Ronald Reagan,

in Baghdad on December 20, 1983.)


Now, that photo and all it represents provides yet more poetry. Despite his knowledge of chemical weapons, external aggression and human rights abuses, Rumsfeld failed to raise the chemical weapons issue during his personal meeting with Saddam. Amazing what a couple of decades and an out-of-control ego can do, huh?

Last edited by Ron Thorne; May-9th-2003 at 08:26 PM.
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Old May-9th-2003, 08:45 PM   #11
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I'm almost certain, that years ago, Mr Rumsfeld was the author of these random truisms, before he burst out in full-blown poetry.

"A wet bird never flies at night"

"Scratch a man, who looks like a turnip
And I'll show you a man, who looks like
A scratched turnip."


Profound and yet, naive.
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Old May-9th-2003, 09:13 PM   #12
Ron Thorne
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Apparently there's no end to this man's talents.


See? I can be wild and crazy too.
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Old May-10th-2003, 12:45 PM   #13
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This is a joke right?

So they've taken his circular, criptic, non specific briefings and call it poetry. Does this qualify him for a NEA grant too.
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Old May-10th-2003, 01:14 PM   #14
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You're right, Lynn. I have never listened to one of Rumsfeld's briefings and heard a single meaningful phrase, which told me anything I hadn't already heard. Nothing specific, although he does have a low tolerance for dissention. His method of dealing with questions, which don't fit into his agenda, is to belittle and baffle with B.S. the person who asked the question.
I don't expect actual substance in anything he says.
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Old May-10th-2003, 04:23 PM   #15
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It is a joke, Lynn, and it soon will be a book. The author of this Slate piece was the subject of a brief bidding war in the publishing business and I think Running Press out in Philadelphia acquired it. So look for The Poetry of Donald Rumsfeld in a bookstore near you in six to nine months.
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Old May-10th-2003, 08:19 PM   #16
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Don Juan

All he said was
meaningless to my ears
but somehow
it spoke to my heart
and I knew
I would follow him
anywhere
hoping
to understand
the unknown unknowns
that I know
he knows.

- Dedicated to all who love Rum.
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Old May-10th-2003, 11:50 PM   #17
Ron Thorne
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Hey, I wonder if Rummy will donate all profits from this "joke" to the orphans in Afghanistan and Iraq, along with the amputees now and for years in the future, as kids (and others) find more cluster bombs and other munitions? I won't even bother going into depleted uranium/plutonium as a health problem for generations to come.

A true believer's haiku -

What I know, I know
And I know Don knows all too
War is not pretty
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Old May-11th-2003, 12:08 AM   #18
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I think I'll put my Rumsfeld book on the shelf next to my copy of "Contemplations On a Contemporary Analysis of the Meaning of 'is'", by W.J. Clinton.
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Old May-11th-2003, 04:27 PM   #19
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jmj:

I think the real title of the former president's quickly-remaindered memoir/manifesto was From Hope to History.

From Hope to history to the bargain bin, more like. Hey! How are Al Gore's two new books doing? Quickly forgotten, so quickly forgotten.
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Old May-11th-2003, 05:17 PM   #20
lynn
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As this one will be.
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Old May-11th-2003, 09:37 PM   #21
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"As this one will be."

Could be, Lynn, could be. Perhaps the window on satire of Donald Rumsfeld is closing and will be closed by the time this book reaches distribution. However, I doubt Donald will cry himself to sleep, as he has nothing to do with this project. Except for being himself and uttering those stanzas of admirable clarity.
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Old May-11th-2003, 10:29 PM   #22
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I think you're getting a little too much sun Monte. Better stay indoors for a couple hours until you feel better. :-)
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Old May-11th-2003, 11:15 PM   #23
Ron Thorne
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Quote:
Originally posted by jesus marion joseph
I think I'll put my Rumsfeld book on the shelf next to my copy of "Contemplations On a Contemporary Analysis of the Meaning of 'is'", by W.J. Clinton.
It's interesting that some of the comments on this thread are putting me in a haiku mood for some reason. Oh yeah, this was a poetry thread, orginally.

A bj or war?
Monica, Bill and Donald
Some explosions kill
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Old May-24th-2003, 11:01 PM   #24
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Hey now! I was in Borders this afternoon and I saw a copy of this book, hot off the presses! I doubt they broke any insta-book records to get this to the shelves, but seven weeks is pretty good.



I was wrong about the publisher--it isn't Running Press, it's Simon and Schuster's imprint Free Press.
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