January-26th-2004, 08:52 PM
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#1
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The big apple - North of the Core
Posts: 5,439
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But then again, I'm a fucking guru.
I know you were all thinking that the Alley has recently missed the meaningless, immature pathologically selfinvolved threads I used to post when I'm drinking or weeding and needing self-stimulation. Or probably not.
But anyway, tonight I'm cold and alone in a cold OLD house right smack in the fucking middle of nowhere and had to make a fucking fire to keep reasonably warm and for the moment it seems like there might be some good reason to announce that on this board I will heretoforel use the expression "But then again I'm a fucking guru" repeatedly and in a way that will endlessly amuse you. Or probably not. But hopefully me.
Last edited by steve(thelil); January-26th-2004 at 09:05 PM.
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January-26th-2004, 09:03 PM
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#2
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 6,026
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Ask me to see my wad.
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January-26th-2004, 09:04 PM
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#3
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The big apple - North of the Core
Posts: 5,439
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Quote:
Originally posted by Michael Schaumann
Ask me to see my wad.
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May I see your wad?
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January-26th-2004, 09:08 PM
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#4
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************
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Manchester United States of America
Posts: 15,521
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So what's the back story?
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January-26th-2004, 09:11 PM
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#5
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Guest
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A guru of fucking? And cold and all alone?
I smell a cover up story here.
Last edited by Scott Dolan; January-26th-2004 at 09:11 PM.
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January-26th-2004, 09:57 PM
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#6
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 6,026
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Quote:
Originally posted by steve(thelil)
May I see your wad?
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(He reaches into his pants and pulls out a sizable wad of cash.)
This is my wad.
It’s very nice.
It’s amazing. You take two rectangular pieces of paper from the wad and give it to an eighteen year old girl who has never done video and she will suck you off. It’s fantastic.
It’s the magic of the wad.
It really is. I know so many people who spend more and get less. There are all these flyers for girls to come to your room for a hundred and seventy five dollars, but I’m not into that shit. I have this girl on video. It was a great experience and I want to relive it on tape for the rest of my life.
Will we be able to see this?
Of course, coming soon in Rampage number 5 from West Coast Productions.
Is there anyone you have seen here that you would like to get in a Rampage scene?
That girl right over there and if not her, that one over there.
You just want to follow your dick anywhere.
Like I just said, last night I shot an eighteen year old named Peaches. It was her first scene ever. She is four feet six inches of all woman and weighed ninety pounds. She felt comfortable enough to shoot her first scene with me. It was just a little ten minute blowjob, nothing rough or anything, but the little teenager asked me for the wad. To me, that is quality adult entertainment. If I can have many years of meeting girls half my age who do half the nasty things she did, I will be happy for years to come.
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January-26th-2004, 10:05 PM
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#7
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************
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Manchester United States of America
Posts: 15,521
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Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap.
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January-26th-2004, 10:09 PM
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#8
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2007 Stanley Cup Champs
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 12,063
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I'm scared to ask how you came across that, Michael.
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January-26th-2004, 10:48 PM
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#9
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A-scan, ya'll
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 1,796
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encore!
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January-26th-2004, 10:59 PM
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#10
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Guest
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Quote:
Originally posted by mone peterson
I'm scared to ask how you came across that, Michael.
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Wow! Double entendre included!
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January-26th-2004, 11:10 PM
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#11
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,939
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Drink 3 of these and you won't need a fire.
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January-27th-2004, 07:59 AM
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#12
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The big apple - North of the Core
Posts: 5,439
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OK. I drank 3 of those and have seen his wad. I'm starting to feel better.
What's next?
But then again (I should know), I'm a fucking guru.
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January-27th-2004, 08:19 AM
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#13
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Columnated ruins domino
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Melrose, MA
Posts: 9,999
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I like the new look, Steve!
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January-27th-2004, 08:34 AM
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#14
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Southampton, England.
Posts: 120
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IS IT COINCIDENCE ? Mr guru, My gas fire has just fucked up, on the coldest week in years. and i am frezzing my bollocks off.
__________________
it don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing.
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January-27th-2004, 09:23 AM
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#15
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User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Below the line
Posts: 9,884
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are you still a fucking saint, too? or just guru?
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January-27th-2004, 12:58 PM
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#16
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The mouldiest of all figs
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Tustin, CA
Posts: 11,249
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Your fucking guruness,
May I presume to ask if any old wad would do, or are there paramaters I should follow?
__________________
Stand clear of the doors
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January-27th-2004, 08:42 PM
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#17
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The big apple - North of the Core
Posts: 5,439
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Doc: I am still a fucking saint, which in guru lingo gives me guru cred.
Hops: when it comes to wad, it isn't the parameters, it IS the length.
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January-27th-2004, 10:19 PM
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#18
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koong
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,008
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during a moment of lucidity i was hoping u could give a little insite to why
i havent seen scrotum boy in the latest presidential race. is that becuz the
repub ticket is filled? i havent paid close attention? he's lost alone in a
cold fucking house...? what?
__________________
fpop
Last edited by frankiepop; January-28th-2004 at 12:41 AM.
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January-27th-2004, 10:56 PM
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#19
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User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Below the line
Posts: 9,884
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The one I miss is Vanessa. Her post on "The Postmodern Phenomenon That Is Rollhead" was an early classic thread on the willingness of posters to swallow whole an Internet persona. I know I was well and truly taken in for a long time. I sent e-mail to victoria@skidmore.edu or whatever the bogus e-mail address was.
Don't get me wrong, I also miss Tool Music and the Rodentron. And I miss Apu®, also. And Darryl Thomas talking about listening to "John Coltrane In Tokyo" in one sitting. I even miss Conan Nado, advocate of fusion jazz and Carlos Santana. Conan sent me a CD; his "Hola Carlos" tribute was, to me, anyway, Conan at his most comfortable. Great stuff. Does anyone here remember when you could attract Conan's attention simply by starting a thread entitled "George Benson"?
And I miss Bruce Woods. He was too cool for school, and that's a fact.
Of course, Tippy is also too cool for school. Tippy is the bomb, don't you think?
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January-27th-2004, 11:24 PM
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#20
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Next year....
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The San Joaquin Valley, CA
Posts: 23,914
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(thelil),
Just exactly where do you live?
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January-27th-2004, 11:25 PM
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#21
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Happy 50th, Alaska!
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 16,985
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Quote:
Originally posted by clinthopson
Your fucking guruness,
May I presume to ask if any old wad would do, or are there paramaters I should follow?
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When speaking of "wads", I think it's customary to think in terms of diameter, not parameter.
Whatever you do, don't follow Johnny Wad's parameters!
Yes, I agree that the Tipster is da bomb.
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January-28th-2004, 12:58 AM
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#22
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Next year....
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The San Joaquin Valley, CA
Posts: 23,914
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How can anybody be too cool for school?
[Can I use that one, Dave? ;-) ]
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January-28th-2004, 08:31 AM
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#23
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The big apple - North of the Core
Posts: 5,439
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Blessings for the props Doc (Still the fucking saint, you see), but it was "The Postmodern SPLENDOR that is Rollhead".
Scrotum boy hasn't thrown his wad in the ring because he looks too much like Kerry.
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January-28th-2004, 11:26 AM
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#24
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The mouldiest of all figs
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Tustin, CA
Posts: 11,249
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I shall now do a Google for "wad."
Film at 11.
__________________
Stand clear of the doors
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April-28th-2004, 09:53 PM
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#25
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The big apple - North of the Core
Posts: 5,439
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by clinthopson
I shall now do a Google for "wad."
Film at 11.
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I can only guess he did a Google image search and he's STILL analyzing the returns.
Exit Pole, baby
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April-28th-2004, 10:06 PM
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#26
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User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Below the line
Posts: 9,884
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Yes, the postmodern SPLENDOR.
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April-29th-2004, 07:08 AM
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#27
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Felix kep' on walkin'
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Temple Cowley, England
Posts: 1,309
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ron Thorne
When speaking of "wads", I think it's customary to think in terms of diameter, not parameter.
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There was a choirboy from Peru
who said as the bishop withdrew
"The vicar is quicker, and slicker, and thicker,
and 3 inches longer than you."
And that's official.
__________________
[img]http://www.smilies.nl/muziek/musicband.gif[/img]
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April-29th-2004, 11:55 AM
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#28
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The mouldiest of all figs
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Tustin, CA
Posts: 11,249
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WAD magazine
WAD Seattle rock band
WAD debugging system
World Academic Database
Joan the Wad
Wad Wizard choke tubes
Doom Wad
amongst 738,000 results.
I figure I'll be through them by the next full eclipse of the sun.
__________________
Stand clear of the doors
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