What does it mean?

Enforcer · January-28th-2004, 10:37 PM

I love our dog. I just f**king love the little motherf**ker. I can't wait to come home and play with her. I look forward to having her sit in my lap when I watch the hockey game. It's all good with me and our dog. She's a Lhasa Apso. We keep her hair fairly short, not long like those show dogs. I never thought I would want a small dog. I was always a "big dog" guy. Most people think the right dog for me is a Doberman Pinscher, just because it "looks right" next to me. I used to agree. But this little dog just f**ked me up completely and now it's all over. She's the dog for me.

There's something confusing, though. She comes up to me and acts like she wants something. I don't know what it is. She does the same thing whether she wants food, water or to go outside. I always try those things first, but sometimes it's none of them. I mean, she likes to be pet, be scratched under the collar, stuff all dogs like. But I don't really know what she is actually looking for. Maybe she just wants attention. Except I'll be lying on the bed or on the floor, and she'll come up really close to me. Right up to my face. Not just "kind of close." I'm talking anywhere between 1/16 and 1/8 of an inch from my face. I can't figure it out.

Chances are you can't either. But throw me a f**king bone and humor me.

Always seeking to improve himself as a "pet owner,"
Larry

al j · January-28th-2004, 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Larry Nagel
She comes up to me and acts like she wants something.

What does she need, Larry? 26 pounds of non-stop energy lovin. My stud below can provide, but there's always a fee. Once she goes Beagle, she'll never go, um, I dont know.

moneyp · January-28th-2004, 10:45 PM

"Dog" isn't a code word here, is it?

willy · January-28th-2004, 10:52 PM

Does your dog eat cats? My wife has four of them that she can snack on.

Enforcer · January-28th-2004, 10:52 PM

Joe,

That's a fine beagle. Unfortunately, as a protective father, I'm going to have to reflexively dismiss any potential suitors.

Mone,

My covert operations are way too subtle to be detected. Hint: Many of them take place at LGW, and "Federov" is a key word.

Larry

Enforcer · January-28th-2004, 10:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by willy
Does your dog eat cats? My wife has four of them that she can snack on.

"Oh, Jesus. Pigs."

Larry

willy · January-28th-2004, 10:54 PM

"There are flames on my car!"

Enforcer · January-28th-2004, 10:55 PM

"With these overseas connections, sometimes you have to scream like a banshee to be heard."

Jazzzoline · January-28th-2004, 11:09 PM

what does it mean?
I think the fullmoon is coming. (is it ? )

moneyp · January-28th-2004, 11:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jazzzoline
what does it mean?
I think the fullmoon is coming. (is it ? )

Eventually.

crawjo · January-28th-2004, 11:17 PM

Maybe your dog is depressed?

Enforcer · January-28th-2004, 11:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jazzzoline
what does it mean?
I think the fullmoon is coming. (is it ? )

There's a joke based on a double entendre here, but I'm much too bashful to make it.

Straightening the pocket protector,
Larry

al j · January-28th-2004, 11:55 PM

Mone- 1
Nagel- 0

Larry, it's just as well. I've known many a poodle and dolled-up maltese to leave the brothel that is my backyard muttering, "too beaucoup".

moneyp · January-29th-2004, 12:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Joe Christmas
Larry, it's just as well. I've known many a poodle and dolled-up maltese to leave the brothel that is my backyard muttering, "too beaucoup".

We're still talking about your beagle, right?

moneyp · January-29th-2004, 12:57 AM

Seriously, Larry, your pooch is just an attention slut. The close face thing is just her way of ensuring that she gets it.

Either that, or she's checking to see if your asleep before feasting on your jugular. But either way, Apsos are adorable little scamps, aren't they?

January-29th-2004, 02:47 AM

Quote:

Once she goes Beagle, she'll never go, um, I dont know.

Dobie?

walto · January-29th-2004, 08:27 AM

Risotto?

Uli · January-29th-2004, 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Larry Nagel

Always seeking to improve himself as a "pet owner,"
Larry

have you checked all the blogs & canine sites, Larry?

Enforcer · January-29th-2004, 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by mone peterson
But either way, Apsos are adorable little scamps, aren't they?

Oh, hell yes.

Remarkable hearing, too. I used to wonder what the point was in having a dog that can hear everything but is too small to do anything about an intruder. But I understand it now. I would have plenty of time to react with the early warning. She can tell when the girlfriend is turning onto the street a block away just by the sound of the car she drives. I mean, if she can filter that out from all the other sounds, I'm pretty sure she'll let me know well in advance if someone is trying to open the door with a credit card. Gives me a certain peace of mind.

Unfortunately, she also barks at what I've come to the conclusion are ghosts, so I do get awakened unnecessarily from my sleep now and then.

Larry

Enforcer · January-29th-2004, 09:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Uli
have you checked all the blogs & canine sites, Larry?

I just started doing that this morning, as a matter of fact, Uli. So far, the "attention slut" thing that Mone suggested seems to be the consensus.

Taking comfort in his experience thanks to an extensive familarity with "sluts" over his lifetime,
Larry

Jazzzoline · January-29th-2004, 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Larry Nagel
There's a joke based on a double entendre here, but I'm much too bashful to make it.

Straightening the pocket protector,
Larry

Bashful ? *raising a perfect brow*

Enforcer · January-29th-2004, 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jazzzoline
Bashful ? *raising a perfect brow*

Well, maybe not bashful. But "full" of something, I'm told.

Larry

Jazzzoline · January-29th-2004, 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Larry Nagel
Well, maybe not bashful. But "full" of something, I'm told.

Larry

Let me guess...

Enforcer · January-29th-2004, 10:51 AM

Are those boots as warm as they make me feel?

Larry

Jazzzoline · January-29th-2004, 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Larry Nagel
Are those boots as warm as they make me feel?

Larry

There's only one way to know: you need to try them

Enforcer · January-29th-2004, 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jazzzoline
There's only one way to know: you need to try them

I have very big feet.

Larry

Chris D · January-29th-2004, 11:16 AM

Get a room, you two.

Jazzzoline · January-29th-2004, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Larry Nagel
I have very big feet.

Larry

Are you telling me your foot wouldn't fit my boot or vice versa ?
Now that's sad

walto · January-29th-2004, 11:42 AM

Snug is good.

Enforcer · January-29th-2004, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jazzzoline
Are you telling me your foot wouldn't fit my boot or vice versa ?
Now that's sad

No, no. I'm just saying that I have very big feet. And you know what that means...

Yeah, it means I wear very big shoes.

Too clever for most of you,
Larry