Don't even think about slowing down

[Enforcer]

I'm driving to work today and I find myself in a traffic jam. Nothing new. As I approach the end of the backup and finally get a look at what's causing the delay, I see a really bad car accident. Looks like an emergency vehicle and some police cars are trying to handle the situation. Hopefully, nobody was hurt badly, although the scene looked pretty bad.

The problem is, there was hardly any traffic to begin with. And what little there was didn't slow down because of a massive merging of lanes. No, what caused the backup was the f**king bozos who couldn't just keep driving past the accident. They had to slow down and get a real good look. Nice. What the f**k is wrong with people? Go! Tragic sh** happens, it's unfortunate, you just drove past it, now GO!. It must be cool not to have a f**king job or commitments so that you can take all the time in the world to drive to work. And stare at the misfortunes of others along the way, no less.

The traffic reports sometimes refer to backups because of "gawkers." First of all, I hate that word. "Gawk" sounds like the noise you'd make if you were trying to get a hair out of your throat. So first of all, stop using that f**king word. Next, stop doing it. You're going to f**k up my morning, and the mornings of hundreds of others, so you can slow down and look at a f**king car accident. These assholes who stop to look at car accidents should be held accountable. First of all, the next thing that should happen is *they* should be involved in a massive, multi-vehicle car accident themselves. Then *I* want to drive by and stare at *their* cold, shivering asses while they wait for a cop to come fill out an accident report, and maybe yell out the window, "Sorry you'll be late for work, motherf**ker! Should have kept your eyes on the road, huh, F**kpuppet? Too bad for you, gawkboy!"

But I can't count on that kind of good fortune, so poetic justice aside, they should be ticketed, jailed and shot in the face with a pellet gun.

Larry

[Chris D]

I wouldn't go as far as the pellet gun, but I agree on all other counts, Larry.
Just DRIVE! Keep your eyes on the road and DRIVE. Everything will be better if you stop the rubbernecking and DRIVE.

[Jazzzoline]

A car was stopped just before the tunnel ( in Montréal, when I lived there), causing what would be many hours of traffic delay. The cop got this answer from the guy in the car: "Nothing's wrong, I just wanted to listen to the end of the song". The tunnel don't let the signal in the car radio.

[Enforcer]

Our tunnel to Windsor has one or two radio stations piped in so you can continue to listen while driving through. I always wondered why they thought it was so important to do that. Now I know why. Probably the same guy came through our tunnel.

Larry

[clinthopson]

I always drive with the attitude that every other driver is an idiot who is going to do something unexpected and stupid.

I'm more often right than wrong.

[Brian Olewnick]

As with most traffic problems, it only takes one stupid driver. One idiot slows down and everyone has to follow.

I think I've mentioned it before, but one of my all-time fave New Yorker cartoons showed a guy sitting in his car, dead-still in a traffic jam. On the side of the road is a sign:

"Traffic eases inexplicably one mile ahead"

[stonemonkts]

The only thing worse than sitting in traffic while people slow down to get a thrill, is being the one they're gawking at. Happened to me once (car stalled in the fast lane of the GSP, there was nothing I could do, traffic was heavy and slow to begin with. Let me tell you, I lost count of the people who drove by and screamed epithets at me. The fuckers.

[moneyp]

Originally posted by Larry Nagel
The traffic reports sometimes refer to backups because of "gawkers." First of all, I hate that word. "Gawk" sounds like the noise you'd make if you were trying to get a hair out of your throat. So first of all, stop using that f**king word.

Out here they call it "spectator slowing," which are the two most foul words in the English language. Couldn't they mimic boot camp and put a couple of army guys out there to fire live rounds above the cars to keep them moving?

[Gentle Giant]

When I was young and would ask my Dad why we were going so slow and he would say "I dunno, must be an accident up ahead," I would always wonder, "How could anyone get into an accident when everyone's driving so slowly?"

Let's face it, people want to see a corpse or a limb or some blood so they can go to work and blab to their colleagues about what they saw on their commute. Ultimately, it eats into worker productivity, which negatively affects the country's GDP, leading to higher interest rates, lower sales of durable goods, and a weakened nation susceptible to terrorist attacks and a Republican-dominated Congress. So let me add my voice to the chorus: just keep driving and don't worry about the poor fucker whose air bag just got jammed down his throat.

[Vince Kargatis]

Unfortunately, this is an unavoidable result of human nature. Traffic dynamics are fairly well modeled now in the abstract. Afaik, it's now quite "easy" for modelers to replicate traffic jams in simulations, given sample input. The only solution is a visual barrier. High median walls would at least stop rubbernecking delays when the accident is on the other side.

For accidents, they'd probably have to do studies to see what kind of barrier would work. I'd guess that a simple tent-like barrier would help a little, but not fully prevent a slowdown.

I bitch similarly about merging behavior, but realize that that won't change either. Behavioral-change solutions are non-starters for these issues.

I await computer-controlled/coordinated driving myself. That will be sweet. Of course, the kneebiters who insist on controlling their own vehicle will be the primary causes of slowdowns then.

[Jazzooo]

"These assholes who stop..."

Didn''t you mean to say "These a**holes who stop..."?

Nice to see you, Vince!

[Enforcer]

Originally posted by Jazzooo
"These assholes who stop..."

Didn''t you mean to say "These a**holes who stop..."?

I didn't know the Church Lady was looking over my shoulder.

Larry

[patricia]

The people who slow down to "share the moment" with the unfortunate accident victims are also found on the street, yelling "jump" at people on the edges of buildings, intending suicide and at street and bar-fights. A truly inexplicable trait shared by many more than would have been imagined. It's a streak of cruelty, that emerges when we least expect it to, from those from whom we never expect it from.
Years ago, the tabloid, Police Gazette used to show the bloody bodies after mob hits and car accidents and I used to wonder about the grown men leafing through them at the news stand. I could understand their facination with nude women, but not violence and tragedy.
Now I think that it is the real pornography.

[Squaredancecalling Steve]

Doesn't even have to be an accident. Every Halloween, in a field just north of Petaluma and bordering the Freeway, they make a corn maze; and every year, for the three or four week that the maze is up, everybody slows down to look. Not much to see, and the same every year, and lots of pissed off people honking their horns, but the rubberneckers still slow down. One of those mysteries of life.

[bostontricky]

Originally posted by Larry Nagel
f**king bozos f**k sh** f**king f**king f**k up f**king assholes asses motherf**ker! F**kpuppet

Jesus, you'd think Rod F**king Stewart himself cut Larry off.

[gnhrtg]

FWIW and FYI, Thomas Schelling nicely discussed situations like this in his book "Micromotives and Macrobehavior." Short and not terribly difficult to read which provides his analysis of the accident jam, racial segregation, seating patterns, falling attendances to meetings, concerts etc.

[Jazzzoline]

"Faces of death " can be found and downloaded from Kazaa.

I heard the founder of #1 newspaper here brag everytime he could: "I've made my fortune from the 3 "s" (sang (blood), sex, sport).

[stonemonkts]

Originally posted by patricia
The people who slow down to "share the moment" with the unfortunate accident victims are also found on the street, yelling "jump" at people on the edges of buildings, intending suicide and at street and bar-fights. A truly inexplicable trait shared by many more than would have been imagined. It's a streak of cruelty, that emerges when we least expect it to, from those from whom we never expect it from.
Years ago, the tabloid, Police Gazette used to show the bloody bodies after mob hits and car accidents and I used to wonder about the grown men leafing through them at the news stand. I could understand their facination with nude women, but not violence and tragedy.
Now I think that it is the real pornography.

I think the tendency for people to be attracted to violence is hardwired to the same reptilian brain stem where sexual pleasure resides. This shit is pure Freud. Many like to mock him, but he knew a thing or two, I reckon.

[Squaredancecalling Steve]

Originally posted by gnhrtg
FWIW and FYI, Thomas Schelling nicely discussed situations like this in his book "Micromotives and Macrobehavior." Short and not terribly difficult to read which provides his analysis of the accident jam, racial segregation, seating patterns, falling attendances to meetings, concerts etc.

Sounds very interesting -- thanks!

[HenryMc]

We ALL hate those who slow down when they see an accident/sight/something strange yet I bet WE all look too as we pass

[Ron Thorne]

Originally posted by HenryMc
We ALL hate those who slow down when they see an accident/sight/something strange yet I bet WE all look too as we pass

Yep, it's human nature, as Vince and others have pointed out.

Here in Alaska, we have the addition of scenic wonders to create havoc. Sometimes it's absolutely necessary to slow down or stop to allow a moose to cross the road; or a porcupine, one of which was ambling into the driveway of one of my drum students last Fall. In the summer, we have amazing (and dumb) traffic snarls when Dall sheep, mountain goats, Orca (killer) whales and beluga whales make appearances on or near our limited roadways. It's not only drivers who put themselves (and others) in peril, it's pedestrians, too. I've had to jam on my brakes and use my horn to remind goofballs that they could get killed by this large, powered machine when they walk right in front of me with a camera glued to their face. They'd never seen a Dall Sheep standing ten feet from the highway before. DUH!

The photo below was taken only last week. The situation is compounded in the summer months by warmer weather and lots of out-of-state visitors who have only seen such animals in a zoo.



At home on the rocks: A young Dall sheep waits on the cliffs above the Seward Highway as
three older sheep graze along the road at Mile 106. Though the sheep like to live in remote
places, they're often seen munching on grass and sedge on the crags overlooking the Seward
and Glenn highways. (Photo by Bill Roth / Anchorage Daily News )

[moneyp]

Originally posted by HenryMc
We ALL hate those who slow down when they see an accident/sight/something strange yet I bet WE all look too as we pass

Wrong! I can't see shit with all the blood pouring out of my eyes.

[Chris D]

I actually make a point of NOT looking. I'm no hypocrite. Of course, if I have an adult passenger, I might ask what he or she sees.

[tippy]

I was going to say AMEN. I thought the thread title was sarcastic because I don't think I can run any faster than I already am, but if I can select the music, talk on the phone, put on my makeup, roll and smoke a cig, and drink coffee, what's one more little thing like slowing down to check out the accident. Geez you guys, have you know curiosity in your surroundings?

[Dr Dave]

Tippy: I am trying my best to slow down. But traffic accidents do nothing for me. Crumpled metal, broken glass, cops, fire trucks, ambulances, lanes closed, orange traffic cones, lots and lots of flashing lights. The banality of highway tragedy, etc. I just want to get where I'm going without having to witness something unspeakable.

[tippy]

Hey I don't drive anymore so what do I know? I did something REALLY stupid like forget to turn in my CA driver's license after it expired even though I had TWO YEARS by NY law to do so and now all I've got is a stupid ID card and a day of driving school and a driving exam to look forward too.

DOH!

[Gary Sisco]

I'm with Clint. I drive as if every mofo out there is trying to kill me. And many of them are. Whether consciously or no, it amounts to the same thing. The moron factor on the roads has been dramatically increasing over the past 10 or 15 years. I'd have an accident everyday if I didn't drive with that defensive attitude, *expecting* stupid shit, like people running stop signs or flying through intersections like they're not even there. There's a stop sign here where I can't remember seeing anyone ever stop, so I make a habit of expecting them to run it. They do.

[Enforcer]

For all the young guys in this town who cruise around in their riced out wheels, drag race at every stop light and burn rubber, they've got nothing on teenage girls. There is nothing scarier for me than seeing a car bumper right on my ass, looking in the mirror and seeing a teenage girl. They drive with no fear.

Larry