Monte, start singing

[Gordon B]

John Kerry Songbook

[Monte Smith]

Gordon, that is a wonderful site. And one thing that the Alley may not know about me is that I have a rich and beautiful voice, really a voice that comes along once in a generation. And so I can do justice to numbers such as these:

Oh Johnny Boy (to the tune of Danny Boy)

Oh Johnny boy, the polls, the polls are falling
In Trenton, Denver, watch the count recede.
Momentum's gone, and all the fervor's dying,
O 'tis you, O 'tis you must go and soon concede.

But come you back when Frenchmen fill the meadow
Or when the valley's flush with NGOs.
Al Franken's there with Janeane Garofalo.
Oh Johnny boy, oh Johnny boy, they love you so.

And if you're asked about those medals flying
And now you've said, it's yours they well may be
You've come, refined the case that you were lying
A heel displayed on ABC TV.

And we have heard quite oft you spread the calumny
That George won't take responsibility.
Is that your family's or your pers'nal SUV?
We'll simply sleep in peace after we reject thee.

--lyrics by Don Eyres
Minnetonka, Minnesota

[HenryMc]

Monte
You have the voice of an angel, the soul of pixie and the politics of the devil!!!

Here's one for you to sing

My buddy George and I
were on a cocaine spree
talking investment banking
and old money in my family

Just when we were spritzen
you know flying in the ozone
George says "Buddy, you know
I want an Oilfield of my own"

I said George old pal
You know what to do
invade Iraq and kick out Saddam
and take his Oilfields too

George looks up and smiles
a spark lights in his eyes
(if George didn't have family money
he'd probably be serving fries)

He says, pal, ole buddy, thank you
now I know just what to do
Get Rummy in here now
and that Condi Crystal too

what was that office block he said
the one , oh you know, near Manhattan
lets invade someone for that
ah darn, lets just blame the Taliban

and you know afghanistan
thats some place over there in asia
lets hit those suckers hard
with rockets guided by the laser

And isn't Iraq somewhere near
that place were gonna invade
you know I gotta clean up the mess
the one that daddy made

and you know with god on my side
making decisions to kill isn't hard
heck its even easier than
my time in the National Guard!


(Singing notes ,,,,Monte you go downward on the last notes ...a la ..in ...myyyyyy ...fam...i..ly

And when you come out of the coma, try this one, to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies:

Come and listen to my story 'bout a boy named Bush
His IQ was zero and his head was up his tush,
He drank like a fish while he drove a car about,
But that didn't matter 'cuz his daddy bailed him out.
DUI that is,
Criminal record
Cover-up.

Well, the first thing you know little Georgie goes to Yale
He can't spell his name but they never let him fail.
He spends all his time hangin' out with student folk,
And that's when he learns how to snort a line of coke.
Blow, that is.
White gold.
Nose Candy!

The next thing you know there's a war in Vietnam.
Kin folks say, "Georgie, stay at home with Mom."
Let the common people get maimed and scarred.
We'll buy you a spot in the Texas National Guard.
Cush, that is.
Country clubs.
Nose candy.

Twenty years later George gets a little bored.
He trades in the booze, says Jesus is his Lord.
He said, "Now the White House is the place I wanna be."
So he called his daddy's friends and they called the GOP.
Gun owners, that is.
Falwell.
Jesse Helms.

Come November 7, the election ran late.
Kin folks said, "Jeb, give the boy your state!"
"Don't let those black folk get anywhere near the polls."
So they put up barricades so they couldn't punch their holes. Chads,
that is. Duval County. Miami-Dade.

Before the votes were counted, the 5 Supremes stepped in.
Told all the voters "Hey, we want our George to win."
"Stop counting votes!" was their solemn invocation.
And that's how little Georgie finally got his coronation. Rigged, that
is. Illegitimate. No moral authority.

Y'all come vote now. Ya hear?

[GoodSpeak]

Thems the folks what's votin' fer 'im.



Yee-hah.