Funny malapropisms

[claude]

Last day of tax season up here in Canada and I had a client come in and say it was "time to pay the pauper". I'm still laughing.

[stonemonkts]

Script writers seem fond of slipping a few in here and there. Archie Bunker uttered at least one per show, iirc.

Just last week on the Sopranos, Chris said something like "it may spread dysentery among the ranks".

[Joe Milazzo]

Referring to someone as a "social bumblebee".

[Root Doctor]

I overheard a young woman the other day describe her dog as a "bull massive."

[claude]

My father (for whom english is a second language) was telling a story about someone making a beehive for the door. He had many of these types of sayings, my all time favourite was "that's a Goddamn good ID" when someone had a good idea or "holy smackeral" to express surprise.

My Grandfather's favourite was God Dan when he wanted to swear.

[crawjo]

I have this weird habit of saying that something doesn't have a "stone' s chance in hell." I've done it several times. I think a stone would actually have a pretty good chance in hell.

[Sergio Zamora]

I often used the phrase 'passing a movie' to mean 'showing a movie'. I was making a direct, word-by-word translation of the phrase in Spanish.

I was never corrected until around six years ago (I attribute this to the fact that most people I socialized prior to this time were native Spanish speakers), but didn't get accustomed to the correct phrase until just a few years ago. It still sounds wrong to my ears.

[Brian Olewnick]

As in, I should've passed on 'Raider of the Lost Ark'.....

[Squaredancecalling Steve]

Originally Posted by stonemonkts

Archie Bunker uttered at least one per show, iirc.

As when he expressed his shock over a movie with "full noodle frontity!"

[Captain Hate]

Working in IT I certainly run into people that would be better off communicating directly to the computer; I bite my tongue when somebody sez that something's a "mute point". Also in emails I get a lot of "for all intensive purposes".

[SinginSumo]

A female friend was visiting a fabric show/convention in New York. She went from room to room looking for what she needed. Exasperated, she entered a room and asking, "Does anyone know where I can get felt?"

Realizing immediately what she had said, she wanted to soften the gaffe.

She immediately followed her first question with, "Cheap?"

[Jimmy Cantiello]

This is not a malapropism per se but I always cringe when someone says "irregardless". I know that this is not a legitimate word, but through constant usage it's been, or is about to be, accepted into the American vernacular. Can we do something to stop this tragic inevitability? And about the word "lite". What's up with that?...................

[Deke]

This is actually a Spoonerism, but I can't be bothered to start a new thread...

Years ago, when I worked in an office, there was this shy guy, and this very full-on girl. So one day she's walking past his desk, loaded with work, and she drops a pencil.

Quick as a flash, shy guy is on the floor picking it up.

"Don't worry!" he shouts. "I'll be your shight in knining armour..."