Unfortunate names...

[Douglas]

Ok having had second thoughts and as I can't seem to delete the thread a prize of my choosing for the first person to post a picture of the person with probably the most unfortunate name (in the English language) in the the world.

[Monte Smith]

Prunella Scales (right).

[Dennis Gonzalez]

In that case (that we must post a picture), I will not win, though I can tell you I taught a 7th grader 15 years ago, so there is no way to track down his pic. His name was (is) Skeeter Raper. Not his nickname. His legal christened name.

Dick Puffer: Assistant Professor of Communication BA, State University of New York MMC

[Douglas]

OK. Monte, not even close/left.

Dennis close, but your post makes me think of changing things around a little. One of Dennis' CDs (if he'll take my credit card) for the picture to accompany the most unfortunate name posted by next Friday evening.

[Stuckinagroove]

Paltrow gives birth to baby Apple





Paltrow and Martin married in secret in December


US actress Gwyneth Paltrow, 31, has given birth to her first child, a girl called Apple.

The Hollywood star underwent a long labour before delivering her first born at a London hospital on Friday.

Gwyneth and her husband Chris Martin, front man in the band Coldplay, have named their daughter Apple Blythe Alison Martin.

The baby weighed 9 pounds 11 ounces (3.8kg) and both mother and baby were said to be doing well.

Ecstatic

Chris Martin said: "We are 900 miles over the moon, and we'd like to thank everyone at the hospital who have looked after us amazingly."

A spokesman for the couple confirmed everything had gone to plan.

"Apple Blythe Alison Martin was born in London after a long labour, on 14 May, and weighed 9lb 11oz," she said.

"Both mother and baby are very well."

[Dennis Gonzalez]

Originally Posted by Douglas

OK. Monte, not even close/left.

Dennis close, but your post makes me think of changing things around a little. One of Dennis' CDs (if he'll take my credit card) for the picture to accompany the most unfortunate name posted by next Friday evening.

Let's do it.

PM me.

[crawjo]

Unfortunately, there is no picture that I know of for this guy, but it is a pretty awful name for a professional athlete to carry around.

[crawjo]

And then there's this fellow. And to think his nickname was "ugly." So I guess people called him "Ugly Dickshot." That's tough.

[Brian Olewnick]

Only because I happened to receive it in an e-mail frm my brother the other day, I'm guessing Douglas is referring to:

http://www.ns.nie.edu.sg/faculty/chewsf.htm

[RBS]

http://www.fourthfightergroup.com/resource/hunt.html

At least he was a fighter pilot.

[Ron Thorne]

Too bad that a photo is also required for this, since it's extremely difficult to find photos of individuals you've never known, especially if they just happen to have really goofy, unfortunate names and live in a remote village.

I can certify the following name (see #17), but not with a photo. He used to live in western Alaska (Barrow), and his name is legendary in these parts:

Nimrod Bodfish

His wife is Emma Bodfish.

I would dearly love to win a Dennis González CD.

[Noj]

We were just discussing a similar topic on another board. My Mom told me about a girl who came to her Junior High School from Pakistan whose name was pronounced "Prick Shit." It had to be delicately explained to her and her parents that she would need to choose an alias.

[Cem]

A friend went to a private, old-school British type school in Ontario. There was a poor little fella whose last name was Bator. Of course, he was called Master Bator by his teachers.

[Douglas]

With Dennis' agreement, whoever comes up with the picture to the best name will receive a copy of "N Y Midnight Suite". Brian links to the one I had in mind. At least on my browser opening that page doesn't bring up the picture - but there is at least one out there. Let's keep it open and see how creative some parents can be.

RBS, I know someone called Richard Micheal Hunt. He is, of course, called Dick Mike Hunt.

[mjb]

Let me introduce to you ... Shit Fun Chew

[mjb]

http://stuff.ubersite.com/1086993500...8/1/chewsf.jpg

[graypencil]

I went to grade school with a guy named ( no shit ) :

ADRIAN TATERBEAN PASSWATER


later on in high school , someone said he'd been teased so much he had his name changed ..

to ...



DARYL TATERBEAN PASSWATER

( so people wouldn't think he was a girl ! )


sorry ..no picture ..

[Dennis Gonzalez]

I taught a kid 10 years ago whose name is Touch Thang, so I gave him the nickname "Dat"...and he loved it: Touch "Dat" Thang! I shit thee not.

And then, we had an Amerasian kid who really wanted to be acclimated to US culture. His name was Nguyen Trang, and he had his name changed legally to Dennis Whisker. True story.

First year I taught I had a child named Tyrone Osserus Rex Johnson. Ok, maybe I'm lying on this one.

How about jazz keyboardist Dick Hyman? He looks happy!

Thanks Douglas for not deleting this thread.

[Rob C]

I got some correspondence at work once regarding property owned by one Anna Septic.

[clinthopson]

I don't know how to post them pics and I doubt if I could find a pic of the very talented multi-reed player Dick Johnson who has a handle of phallic magnificence.

[Underhound]

Originally Posted by clinthopson

I don't know how to post them pics and I doubt if I could find a pic of the very talented multi-reed player Dick Johnson who has a handle of phallic magnificence.

Or how about Peter O'Toole.

[hornplayer]

My mom went to school with a whole family of kids with the last name of RAPE. Harry Rape, Edith Rape, Willie Rape.... and a kid named Harry Bacon.

For 4 summers I went to band camp with a red-haired, freckled saxophonist (played well!) named Bill Outhouse. He had a great sense of humor about his name, and used to tease that when he was old enough, he was going to change his last name to JOHNS!

Ran into him quite a few years later at a mutual friend's wedding, and there he was: Bill JOHNS!!!

[stonemonkts]

[walto]

Hey, wait a minute thar, stone! I love Karen Horney's stuff!

FWIW, I had a friend in college who told me she had an opthamologist named Dr. Seitz and a gynecologist named Dr. Kuntz.

[stonemonkts]

I'm a Horney fan too...but the name is a bit unfortunate for a psychoanalyst!

[Jason Bivins]

Wow, I shouldn't have started eating before reading this thread. I almost laughed my lunch up at Brian's first post. Two thoughts from the groves of academe:

1. My colleague in Biblical studies swears up and down that someone in his field once got busted for kiddie porn. Name of Dick Pervo.

2. Several years back, I had a woman in my class named Squirrelena Jenkins. On the first day of class, as I was calling roll, she tensed up by the time I got to the "H" names. I barely had "Sq" out of my mouth when she lept in, "Lena Jenkins! Here!"

[Douglas]

This guy bears one of my favourite surnames (see here)



Parenthetically, I was thankful when I was travelling to Russia fairly frequently that the visa bureaucracy transliterated my surname in a non-strictly phonetic way. The first syllable would raise eyebrows.

[GoodSpeak]

David Pigg, a former student of mine [I swear, I am not making this up].

Intials for the first name and it would be: D. Pigg.



The running gag around campus was he had a sister named Ima.



Poor guy.

[Douglas]

One week up, and Jason's response seems to back up my intuition of THE name. So if no-one contests (Brian did the link you provided show a picture?) mjb it is. And thanks everyone for some funny stories/names.

MJB, PM me or Dennis a mailing address and I'll add NY Midnight Suite to an order I'm sending to Dennis this evening.

[mjb]

That's terrific - thank you. More than makes up for the crappy week I've had.

In the circumstances, I am rather glad that so few people know my full name!