Only In Canada

[patricia]

CP Toronto [Calgary Sun, June 25]
DOG THWARTS KILLING SPREE

A man who told police he was bent on going on a murderous rampage believed people in his native New Brunswick were nice, so he planned to gun down people in Toronto instead.

That is, until a friendly dog changed his mind about the city's residents.

The man drove from the Maritimes with a carload of guns and ammunition intending to kill as many people in Toronto as he could, he told police.

But a last-minute encounter with a woman and her dogs in a lakefront park convinced him Torontonians are also nice.

"He wanted to start a killing spree," said Det./Sgt Bernadette Button.
"He didn't indicate why, but he did say that the people in the Maritimes were nice so he thought he'd come up to Toronto."

By chance, he encountered a woman walking two dogs.

"One of the dogs approached him and it was playful and they got into a bit of a tug-of-war," Button said.

James Stanson, 43, was charged with eight weapons-related offences after a man surrendered to police Wednesday in the peaceful east-end neighbourhood known as the Beaches.

Justice Richard Schneider ruled the accused would undergo psychiatric assessment before June 30 and appear again in court for a progress report on July 14.

Police said a man had a loaded gun in his pocket and a car crammed with more than 6,000 rounds of ammunition and had intended to start firing in the park on a sunny summer afternoon.

Helen Stanson of Guelph, Ont., said she believed her nephew was in Toronto seeking medical help for a heart condition.
"He was a walking time bomb," she said.

---------------------------------------

So, although we have black hearts and suppressed murderous intentions, ultimately, we ARE a kinder, gentler people, who can be steered away from evil-doing by the affection of a random dog in a park. Who knew??

[Ron Thorne]

Hey, no fair. There are many more Canadians than Alaskans posting on Jazz Corner. In fact with Cousin Bruce Massey preoccupied with his job and softball in Juneau, I think I'm holding down the fort by myself.

Having said all of that ... go nuts, kids!




Hey, I wanna visit that friendly neighborhood known as Ass-The-Beaches!

[patricia]

Originally Posted by Ron Thorne

Hey, no fair. There are many more Canadians than Alaskans posting on Jazz Corner. In fact with Cousin Bruce Massey preoccupied with his job and softball in Juneau, I think I'm holding down the fort by myself.

Having said all of that ... go nuts, kids!




Hey, I wanna visit that friendly neighborhood known as Ass-The-Beaches!

Not just friendly, but FRIENDLY. No fair, back at ya. You know I'm spelling-challenged and you are WAY too picky.
[I'll correct it.] You Alaskans.
BTW, I miss cousin Bruce Massey too. Work and family is NO excuse.

[Ron Thorne]

I was hoping you'd like that particular pickiness, Patricia. How's that for some serious illiteration?

You did correct it. You know I'm just funnin' with ya, right?

I've chided Bruce, and he says he'll pop in sometime soon. Yeah, I miss his no-nonsense comments and observations, too.

[patricia]

Originally Posted by Ron Thorne

I was hoping you'd like that particular pickiness, Patricia. How's that for some serious illiteration?

You did correct it. You know I'm just funnin' with ya, right?

I've chided Bruce, and he says he'll pop in sometime soon. Yeah, I miss his no-nonsense comments and observations, too.

Of course I knew you were kidding, but I couldn't let the error stand, once you brought it to my attention. Yeah. Very serious alliteration.

We haven't heard from Bruce for a long time and I really do miss him. I particularly miss his no-nonsense prodding of this humble scribe into not being quite so stiff. His girls must be in their mid to late teens by now.

Originally Posted by Patricia

Very serious alliteration.

I don't know if you could consider it serious or not, but when I ordered my motorcycle pants, they didn't fit right at all.

And on top of that, the fucking zipper was broke. Can you believe it??!!

So I took them to this alteration shop that is owned and run by an older, but incredibly beautiful, Vietnamese lady.

I don't think she understood me, and I sure as hell had a hard time understanding her(VERY thick accent), but eventually we decided that she would fix the zipper and make some alterations to the pants.

She did an awesome job, and charged me next to nothing.

The part that sucks is that I don't even wear the pants anymore because they restrict my leg movement too much when I'm out on Namaste.

Weird, huh?

Bottom line? If you're ever in Jefferson City, and need some alterations done, I know just where you can go.

[patricia]

Originally Posted by Mo Noyz

I don't know if you could consider it serious or not, but when I ordered my motorcycle pants, they didn't fit right at all.

And on top of that, the fucking zipper was broke. Can you believe it??!!

So I took them to this alteration shop that is owned and run by an older, but incredibly beautiful, Vietnamese lady.

I don't think she understood me, and I sure as hell had a hard time understanding her(VERY thick accent), but eventually we decided that she would fix the zipper and make some alterations to the pants.

She did an awesome job, and charged me next to nothing.

The part that sucks is that I don't even wear the pants anymore because they restrict my leg movement too much when I'm out on Namaste.

Weird, huh?

Bottom line? If you're ever in Jefferson City, and need some alterations done, I know just where you can go.

Good to know Scott. You might be able to amortize the cost of your now incredibly well-fitting pants with the working zipper, by wearing them to parties, dances and other social functions, calling for a ruffley shirt, a bolo tie and the hat of a cabellero. Ole'!! Be a cutting-edge, fashion forward rebel!!!

Yeah, but what about the whole padded ass thing? I mean, I have a very nice ass, I'm sure you'll agree, but the padding thing just looks tacky in a social situation.

And besides, with the internal CE approved armor in the knees and hips, they just make me look fat.

God my life is so depressing at times.

[patricia]

Also good to know that our men worry about looking overly voluptuous. On you, the extra roundness would look sexy. Try it. You'll see that I'm right.

No, no. Overly voluptuousness isn't my concern. The padding gives it more of a flat and lifeless look. Not a description that fits my ass at all.

Besides, I think you're just saying all this to make me feel better.

[patricia]

Originally Posted by Mo Noyz

No, no. Overly voluptuos isn't my concern. The padding gives it more of a flat and lifeless look. Not a description that fits my ass at all.

Besides, I think you're just saying all this to make me feel better.

Never reject a compliment. Of course I'm trying to make you feel better and maybe even smile. So, sue me.
We all admire, even envy your pert little tush. It's rounded, just so and as lively as the dickens, I'm told. Lucky you. A guy with an ass as cute as yours will go far. Trust me.

Alright Dammitt!! Even I know when I'm being toyed with.


























Please go on!!

[patricia]

I'm toying with you. We ladies of JC know that all the cats here are putty in our hands, so to speak. We love that about you. Stay as sweet as you are. Do you have matching shoes to complete the very fetching ensemble??

My boots would turn you to jello.

Read 'em and weep:

Now tell me those baby's ain't getting ya hot!!!!!

[Ron Thorne]

Originally Posted by patricia

Yeah. Very serious alliteration.

Gulp.

Well, at least I'm not totally illiterate.

Oh, Canada ...

[patricia]

Originally Posted by Ron Thorne

Gulp.

Well, at least I'm not totally illiterate.

Oh, Canada ...

I think it was Dr Dave who went to the trouble of googling the entire lyrics of our ponderous national anthem and posting them a while ago.
I like to think I am reasonably literate also, but sometimes my spelling gets away from me, a lot like a nervous puppy. As my youngest used to say, when confronted with a spelling error, "That's the way I spell it", as if I were somehow squashing her creativity. I'll go with that.

[Deke]

C'mon Bro' Mo, admit it. Don't they get you hot?


...or whatever turns you on...

[patricia]

Scott's shoes, co-ordinating his ensemble are indeed attractive and he can wear them anywhere.

Hot?? Perhaps not red-hot but definitely all-occasion.

[GoodSpeak]

Cruel shoes?

Howza 'bout this?

[patricia]

Originally Posted by GoodSpeak

Cruel shoes?

Howza 'bout this?

WAY too cruel. Ouch.