Post secrets other posters have told you in confidentiality here

[Enforcer]

Moné: "When 'Tighten Up' by Archie Bell and the Drells comes on the radio at work, it's not a question of *if* but *when* I will start showing off my crazy dance moves."

Larry

[Sergio Zamora]

Ollie: I'm so sexually attracted to Larry Nagel.

[Brian Olewnick]

Originally Posted by Sergio Zamora

Ollie: I'm so sexually attracted to Larry Nagel.

Well, you notice that since Lois deleted dual poster-names, we haven't seen too much of Jazzzoline around here......

[moneyp]

"'Maggie May' is a real toe-tapper." -- Larry Nagel

Retaliating with brute force,
Mone

[Monte Smith]

Gordon Blewis, despite his emphasis on figures, odds, and percentages, has to use his fingers to count.

[Chris D]

Monte whispered that he always had a thing for Bella Abzug.

[Monte Smith]

Phwah! Given the choice, I'd probably have to go for Bela Lugosi.

[Brian Olewnick]

Abbey uses Poincare distributions and Brownian motion phenomena to provide himself a statistical determinent for deciding what music gets released on Erstwhile.

[Gentle Giant]

Steve Reynolds: My **most** prized possession is a used reed, which I suck on every day, that I found on the stage after a Kenny G concert in 1998 (I forget which city; I was sort of following him around that year).

[Enforcer]

Brian O.: "Are there any players at all who have demonstrated an ability to hit in the clutch, as defined by a revolutionary and infinitely complex algorithm I've devised, over the course of their entire careers? Of course there are. I have a list of them right here. However, failing your compliance in completely emptying your savings and assets into my bank account, expect more of my 'There is no such thing as clutch hitting in baseball' schtick. Understand?"

[clinthopson]

Jimmy Cantiello once told me about the time he had with the Peruvian belly dancer, her pet aardvark and the ukulele.

You know, the same old boring crap.

[crawjo]

Chris A told me that he has the hots for Laura Bush.

[graypencil]

Originally Posted by clinthopson

Jimmy Cantiello once told me about the time he had with the Peruvian belly dancer, her pet aardvark and the ukulele.

You know, the same old boring crap.

Jimmy told me something similar ..except it was an outboard motor instead of a ukelele ..

and Goody once confided in me that he wasn't really a frustrated teacher at all ..but a really *HOT* court reporter in Vallejo ..

..with really , REALLY giant bazongas !!!

[sonic1]

I told Rob Damen that I really wanted him to have me over his knee on stage at the Lincoln Center and redden my ass with broadsides yelling, "WHO'S YOUR DADDY...WHO'S YOUR DADDY!!" with me yelling' "OH DADDY...DADDY OH DADDY..."

but he told me he couldn't do it cause he wasn't man enough...


Jared

Crawjo told me that he isn't sure which side to come down on in the Boer War.

Monte e-mailed me a photo of his head towel collection and (in the foreground) a device for mashing French fries beyond recognition. The items were all made in China.

Dolan admitted to having a Dale Carnegie dart board.

[Deke]

Mo Noise told me that his other alter ego is Chris A.

[Monte Smith]

It is no secret at all that Chris A. demands to know a cabby's stand on the war before he will agree to any fare.

[Dr Dave]

Squaredancecalling Steve was the first lead guitarist in Metallica.

Steve(thelil) is actually Elias Cannetti.

Walto used to be a procurer for Steven Spielberg.

When Scott Dolan was a teenager, he was Gloria Steinem's love slave.

Crawjo has a Joan Baez poster in his kitchen.

Cookie owns every recording ever released by Judas Priest.

Bluenoter vacations in Ibiza and listens to all the Cafe del Mar compilations.

[Tom Storer]

Monte told me that when you get down to it, he really respects Gary's political integrity.

Gary told me that he may disagree with Monte's politics, but he admires his horsemanship.

Bluenoter told me she thinks Scott Dolan looks so masterful in his avatar that she goes weak in the knees.

Jazzooo told me he stocks his CD collection by burning copies from the library.

Walto told me he doesn't really know anything about philosophy - he just makes that stuff up.

[Phil_Meloy]

Crawjo told me that he is converting his garage into a library to archive all the articles that Chris has posted.

Goody told me that he actually really much prefers cricket to baseball.

Scott Dolan told me that he is trying to get in touch with his feminine side.

and oh yeah...

Bluenoter told me what she told Tom about Scott as well.

[john williams]

Stonemonkts told me he is always the noisiest at parties and has to be the center of attention.

Lazarus told me about his complete Abba collection.

Bluenoter told me she couldn't care less about grammar.

Tippy told me she's not really turned on by "Stupid Sexy Flanders"

Jon Abbey has recently decided the next five Erts will be Zorn solo saxophone CDs.

Reid told me the he's excited by all the innovation in jazz lately.

[Phil_Meloy]

Scott Dolan told me that he really thinks that Wynton Marsalis is a complete nerd but he still sticks up for him anyway 'cause he's just that kinda guy.

[Captain Hate]

Uli owns the entire Erstwhile catalog.

[Chris D]

Captain Hate keeps photos of Ernest Byner and Jose Mesa in his wallet for safekeeping.

[Brian Olewnick]

Dupre hasn't gotten a ball out of the infield in years.

[Captain Hate]

Originally Posted by Chris D

Captain Hate keeps photos of Ernest Byner and Jose Mesa in his wallet for safekeeping.

Pretty funny, Chris. Actually I've always been a Byner fan, partially because I hated the Browns during the Modell years. Byner was the fall guy for that game; you take away his performance prior to the fumble and the Browns aren't even withing spitting distance of the Broncos. And Modell, true to form, sends Byner to the Joe Gibbs Redskins for the great Mike Oliphant (!!!) and the Super Bowl goes to Washington. Byner had killed the Redskins in an earlier game and Gibbs had to have been in hot pursuit of him after that; when offered at bargain basement rates his prayers were answered.

[Monte Smith]

Brian Olewnick once had an emotional breakdown when for a period of 45 minutes, he couldn't remember the name of William Powell's dog in The Thin Man.

[Chris D]

Good analysis, Hate. I always liked Byner, was rooting like heck for the Browns that day and felt terrible for the guy.

Thanks for the name check, Brian. Scored the winning run in the bottom of the last inning Tuesday after hustling on a hard grounder to third that the guy threw into the stands. Another grounder to the same guy, I bluff toward him, he flinches, then throws another one out of play. Ballgame!

[patricia]

That's common, Monte. I couldn't remember what breed of dog Nick and Nora had, but couldn't forget, no matter how hard I tried, that it's name was Asta.

However, there was a brief period of about an hour, when I was mortified at having forgotten whether one works from the outside, or the inside of the accepted place-settings at a formal dinner. I had managed to negotiate placing the napkin on my lap, rather than tucking it into the front of my strapless gown, with little difficulty. Suddenly, I could feel the distainful stares of the other spiffily turned-out diners around me and felt sure that I would be reduced to dabbling my fingers in the fingerbowl, which thank God I hadn't thought was the aperitif. These are the poterntial scandalous faux pas which plague me.

Nobody tells me secrets because I think of them as news flashes and feel duty bound to be the first to inform the general public of the juiciest items.

[Brian Olewnick]

Originally Posted by Monte Smith

Brian Olewnick once had an emotional breakdown when for a period of 45 minutes, he couldn't remember the name of William Powell's dog in The Thin Man.

pfft. That would be as likely as not remembering "esne" or "oona"!

Um, Chris, I notice in your recap that there's no mention of any Dupre-hit ball reaching the outfield....