If this isn't a joke...

JazzJunkie · July-3rd-2004, 11:37 AM

Found this classified ad and if it isn't a joke then I seriously pity da fool -- too funny!!

Couple getting married in need of a band. Ideally, we'd like a 4-5 piece band that can play disco, funk, R&B, Motown, rock, top-40, as well as some Jewish Ethnic songs like "Hava Nagila". We'd need about four hours of music, from 6-10 PM with some breaks in between. We also need some light rock or jazz for the dinner music.

Also: we need to use your microphone for toasts and speeches, etc.

Pay: Unfortunately, we cannot afford to pay the band in money. But here's what we offer in return:

(1) You and the band will be fed a great meal. (However, as we do need some quiet dinner music provided, you'll have to eat during the toasts.)

(2) Each band member will get 1 free drink.

(3) We will mention your band in the toasts, and you'll get a chance to pass out your business cards, and you can give away any band CDs you have. There will be some very high class people there, and you'll probably get some offers from this.

(4) If you do well, we might hire you for a paid party later this fall.

(5) We will have a tip jar out for the band.

(6) You'll get the great feeling of doing a good deed!

One more thing. We do have a few family members that play drums and guitar, so we hope it'll be okay to let them sit in for a tune or two.

{That "one more thing..." just kills me!! --JJ}

Captain Hate · July-3rd-2004, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JazzJunkie

There will be some very high class people there, and you'll probably get some offers from this.

Translation: "There will be some people there who have significantly more money and class than we do that we're inviting so we can hit on them for an awesome gift, probably in cash. If we were high class people instead of lowlife trash, we would pay you out of that."

You'd kinda like some Buzzcocks cover band to take the gig and start playing stuff like "Orgasm Addict" or play "Sex Farm" like Spinal Tap did at the USO mixer.

bluenoter · July-3rd-2004, 08:44 PM

Quote:

One more thing. We do have a few family members that play drums and guitar, so we hope it'll be okay to let them sit in for a tune or two.

Out of curiosity, how unheard-of is that when it's a normal private gig--one for which the band is getting paid?

Gary Delligatti · July-4th-2004, 10:37 AM

Epilogue:
Job closed:
Kenny G took it

hearsay · July-5th-2004, 12:53 PM

That is really funny, where was that add from?

VIBEr · July-5th-2004, 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluenoter

Out of curiosity, how unheard-of is that when it's a normal private gig--one for which the band is getting paid?

It's not unusual for someone to sing a tune with the band (depending on their level of sobriety at the time), but it's been my experience that musicians are usually hesitant to turn over their expensive instruments to an inebriated someone they don't know.