October-9th-2004, 02:48 PM
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#1
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www.steveminkin.com
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Healdsburg, Sonoma County, California
Posts: 12,226
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Darwin Awards 2004 -- The Breakthrough Year!
For the first time in the illustrious history of the Darwin Awards, this year's top prize goes to somebody who did not die.
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
From the Orlando Sentinel:
Based on a bet by* the other members of his threesome, Everitt Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls" in* a ball washer at the local golf course. Proving once again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix, Sanchez managed to straddle the ball washer and* dangle his scrotum in the machine. Much to his dismay, one of his buddies up'd the ante by spinning the crank on the machine with Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus wedging them solidly in the mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately* passed his threshold of pain, collapsed and tumbled from his perch. Unfortunately for Sanchez,the height of the ball washer was more than a foot higher* off the ground than his testicles are in a normal stance, and the scrotum was* the weakest link. Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open during* the fall, and one testicle was plucked from him forever and remained in the ball* washer, while the other testicle was compressed and flattened as it was pulled* between the housing of the washer, and the rotating machinery inside. To add insult to injury, Sanchez broke a new $300.00 driver that he had just purchased from the pro shop, and was using to balance himself. Sanchez was rushed to the hospital for surgery, and the remaining threesome were asked to leave the course.
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October-9th-2004, 02:50 PM
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#2
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Unflappable
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Jersey City, NJ
Posts: 15,854
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Squaredancecalling Steve
Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open during* the fall, and one testicle was plucked from him forever and remained in the ball* washer, while the other testicle was compressed and flattened as it was pulled* between the housing of the washer, and the rotating machinery inside.
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On the other hand, I bet they were pretty clean.
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October-9th-2004, 03:27 PM
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#3
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www.steveminkin.com
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Healdsburg, Sonoma County, California
Posts: 12,226
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Brian Olewnick
On the other hand, I bet they were pretty clean.
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Quite clean, I'm sure! But prior to this they were in a scrotumically-sealed pouch. Now, who know what will become of them!
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October-9th-2004, 03:35 PM
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#4
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"Long way from home"
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
Posts: 1,188
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Squaredancecalling Steve
Quite clean, I'm sure! But prior to this they were in a scrotumically-sealed pouch. Now, who know what will become of them!
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They'll be replaced in a "flat pack" ? Handy for opening doors in hotels when he's drunk and he's lost the keys...
Think positive, it beats a credit card...A good result all round...Or "flat".
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October-9th-2004, 03:45 PM
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#5
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www.steveminkin.com
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Healdsburg, Sonoma County, California
Posts: 12,226
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I love it that >>the remaining threesome were asked to leave the course.<<
Sounds like they intended to finish the round! "Meet you back at the hospital, Ev! Sorry about turning that crank -- seemed funny at the time."
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October-9th-2004, 04:09 PM
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#6
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"Long way from home"
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
Posts: 1,188
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"It's what friends are for" !
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October-9th-2004, 11:09 PM
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#7
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Tragically Impressionable
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 5,515
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Well, he did select himself out of the gene pool and that is what the darwin award is all about...
Ouch. I can't think about that any longer...
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October-10th-2004, 03:13 AM
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#8
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Happy 50th, Alaska!
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 17,363
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That's hysterically funny, dumb and painful to think about, all-at-once.
Steve, without taking anything away from this thread or the several sites which abound displaying this and other stories, I'm mystified as to why the "official" Darwin Awards site doesn't show anything for 2004 yet. Or, have we been duped?
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October-10th-2004, 04:55 AM
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#9
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www.steveminkin.com
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Healdsburg, Sonoma County, California
Posts: 12,226
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ron Thorne
That's hysterically funny, dumb and painful to think about, all-at-once.
Steve, without taking anything away from this thread or the several sites which abound displaying this and other stories, I'm mystified as to why the "official" Darwin Awards site doesn't show anything for 2004 yet. Or, have we been duped? |
Ron: I heard this one on the radio Friday, driving to a gig in Palo Alto, and it was presented as the winner of the Darwin Award. I have no idea if it was the official one or not. The official one probably waits until the year is over to make its choice.
It's going to have to be a doozy to top this one, though.
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October-10th-2004, 01:00 PM
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#10
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QAMS2005
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: NYC
Posts: 1,133
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Squaredancecalling Steve
For the first time in the illustrious history of the Darwin Awards, this year's top prize goes to somebody who did not die.
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But at least he won't be able to procreate.
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October-10th-2004, 01:38 PM
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#11
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"Long way from home"
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
Posts: 1,188
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One dimensional children ?
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