Most Brilliant Question Asked In A Song

[crawjo]

"When you asked how I was doing
Was that some kind of joke?"

--Bob Dylan "Desolation Row"

[GoodSpeak]

"What are we fighting for?"

From "I-Feel-Like-I'm-Fixin'-To-Die" Rag

Yeah, come on all of you, big strong men,
Uncle Sam needs your help again.
He's got himself in a terrible jam
Way down yonder in Vietnam
So put down your books and pick up a gun,
We're gonna have a whole lotta fun.

And it's one, two, three,
What are we fighting for ?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Next stop is Vietnam;
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Well there ain't no time to wonder why,
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.

Well, come on generals, let's move fast;
Your big chance has come at last.
Gotta go out and get those reds —
The only good commie is the one who's dead
And you know that peace can only be won
When we've blown 'em all to kingdom come.

And it's one, two, three,
What are we fighting for ?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Next stop is Vietnam;
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Well there ain't no time to wonder why
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.

Huh!

Well, come on Wall Street, don't move slow,
Why man, this is war au-go-go.
There's plenty good money to be made
By supplying the Army with the tools of the trade,
Just hope and pray that if they drop the bomb,
They drop it on the Viet Cong.

And it's one, two, three,
What are we fighting for ?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Next stop is Vietnam.
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Well there ain't no time to wonder why
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.

Well, come on mothers throughout the land,
Pack your boys off to Vietnam.
Come on fathers, don't hesitate,
Send 'em off before it's too late.
Be the first one on your block
To have your boy come home in a box.

And it's one, two, three
What are we fighting for ?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Next stop is Vietnam.
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Well there ain't no time to wonder why,
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.

[crawjo]

Another Dylan question that's always stood out for me:

"Something is happening here,
but you don't know what it is,
do you, Mr. Jones?"

This isn't who it would be if it wasn't who it is?

[Douglas]

Is this some sort of joke?

Peter and the Test Tube Babies

[Squaredancecalling Steve]

I'd just be curious to know if you can see yourself as clear,
As someone who has had you on his mind.

***

Now that our mountain is growing
With people hungry for wealth,
How come it's you that's a going
And I'm left alone by myself?

***

Oh the Summer time is coming
And the trees are sweetly blooming
And the wild mountain thyme
Grows around the blooming heather
Will ye go lassie go?
And we'll all go together
To pluck the wild mountain thyme
From around the blooming heather
Will ye go lassie go?

I will build my love a bower
Near yon pure crystal fountain
And on it I will pile
All the flowers of the mountain
Will ye go lassie go?
And we'll all go together
To pluck the wild mountain thyme
From around the blooming heather
Will ye go lassie go?

If my true love she were gone
I will surely find no other
Where wild mountain thyme
All around the blooming heather
Will ye go lassie go?
And we'll all go together
Pluck the wild mountain thyme
From around the blooming heather
Will ye go lassie go?

**

Caldonia, Caldonia --
What makes your big head so hard?

[Squaredancecalling Steve]

Can I get a witness??

***

On a tree by a river a little tom-tit
Sang "Willow, titwillow, titwillow"
And I said to him, "Dicky-bird, why do you sit
Singing 'Willow, titwillow, titwillow'"
"Is it weakness of intellect, birdie?" I cried
"Or a rather tough worm in your little inside"
With a shake of his poor little head, he replied
"Oh, willow, titwillow, titwillow!"

[Squaredancecalling Steve]

HIGGINS
Yes...
Why can't a woman be more like a man?
Men are so honest, so thoroughly square;
Eternally noble, historic'ly fair;
Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat.
Well, why can't a woman be like that?
Why does ev'ryone do what the others do?
Can't a woman learn to use her head?
Why do they do ev'rything their mothers do?
Why don't they grow up- well, like their father instead?
Why can't a woman take after a man?
Men are so pleasant, so easy to please;
Whenever you are with them, you're always at ease.
Would you be slighted if I didn't speak for hours?
PICKERING
Of course not!
HIGGINS
Would you be livid if I had a drink or two?
PICKERING
Nonsense.
HIGGINS
Would you be wounded if I never sent you flowers?
PICKERING
Never.
HIGGINS
Well, why can't a woman be like you?
One man in a million may shout a bit.
Now and then there's one with slight defects;
One, perhaps, whose truthfulness you doubt a bit.
But by and large we are a marvelous sex!
Why can't a woman take after like a man?
Cause men are so friendly, good natured and kind.
A better companion you never will find.
If I were hours late for dinner, would you bellow?
PICKERING
Of course not!
HIGGINS
If I forgot your silly birthday, would you fuss?
PICKERING
Nonsense.
HIGGINS
Would you complain if I took out another fellow?
PICKERING
Never.
HIGGINS
Well, why can't a woman be like us?
[To Mrs. Pearce]
Mrs. Pearce, you're a woman...
Why can't a woman be more like a man?
Men are so decent, such regular chaps.
Ready to help you through any mishaps.
Ready to buck you up whenever you are glum.
Why can't a woman be a chum?
Why is thinking something women never do?
Why is logic never even tried?
Straight'ning up their hair is all they ever do.
Why don't they straighten up the mess that's inside?
Why can't a woman behave like a man?
If I was a woman who'd been to a ball,
Been hailed as a princess by one and by all;
Would I start weeping like a bathtub overflowing?
And carry on as if my home were in a tree?
Would I run off and never tell me where I'm going?
Why can't a woman be like me?

[Cem]

Could you be loved?

[Cem]

Turning into a Dylan thread...

How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

[Gary Sisco]

Where have you been, my blue-eyed son?
Oh, where have you been, my darling young one?

I've been to the bathroom with nobody watching ...
Trying to park where there just isn't parking ...
Ringing twenty-five bells that shouldn't be ringing ...

[Gentle Giant]

Who knows where the time goes?
Sandy Denny

[Gentle Giant]

Where do I go? (Hair)

How can you mend a broken heart? (Bee Gees)

[Chris D]

How can you turn your back on your best friend?
How can you turn your back on the one who loves you? -R. Thompson

[Gentle Giant]

"Ah, my friends from the prison, they ask unto me,
"How good, how good does it feel to be free?"
And I answer them most mysteriously,
"Are birds free from the chains of the skyway?"

Dylan, Ballad in Plain D

[Root Doctor]

"What was it you wanted
I ain't keepin' score
Are you the same person
That was here before?
Is it something important?
Maybe not.
What was it you wanted?
Tell me again I forgot."

[Boris Badenov]

If I were a carpenter, and you were a lady, would you marry me anyway and have my baby?

[Boris Badenov]

Have you heard, have you heard, about the bird?

[John L]

How come my dog don't bark when YOU come around? (Dr. John)

[Squaredancecalling Steve]

Saturday morning serials chapters 1 through 15,
Fly paper, penny loafers, Lucky Strike Green.
Flat tops, sock hops, Studebaker, Pepsi Please,
Ahh, do you remember these?

Cigar Bands, on your hand, your daddy's socks rolled down.
Sticks, snow floats and aviator caps with flaps that button down.
Movie stars on Dixie Cup tops, and knickers to your knees,
Ahh, do you remember these?

The Hit Parade, grape Tru-Aid, The Sadie Hawkins Dance,
Pedal pushers, duck tail hair and peggin' your pants.
Howdie-Doodie, Tutti-Frutti, the seam up the back of her hose,
Ahh, do you remember those?

James Dean, he was keen, Sunday movies were taboo,
The Senior Prom, Judy's mom, Rock-n-Roll was new.
Cracker Jack prize, stars in your eyes, as Daddy tore the keys,
Ahh, do you remember these?

The boogey man, lemonade stands, takin' your tonsils out,
Hindenburg, -n- wait your turn, and 4 foul balls you're out.
Cigarette loads, -n- secret codes, -n- savin' lucky stars,
Can you remember back that far?

The boat neck shirts, and fender skirts and crinoline petticoats,
Mum's the word, and a dirty bird and a double root beer float.
Moon hub caps, and loud heel taps, and he's a real gone cat.
Ahh, do you remember that?

Dancin' close, little moron jokes, and cooties in her hair,
Captain Midnight, Ovaltine, and The Whip at the County Fair.
Charles Atlas Course, Roy Roger's Horse, and "only The Shadow knows"
Ahh, do you remember those?

Gable's charm, Frog in your arm, loud mufflers, pitchin' woo,
Going steady, Veronica and Betty, white bucks, and "Blue Suede Shoes"
Knock Knock jokes, and "Who's there?", Dewey, Dewey who?;
Do we, do we remember these? Yes, we do, Ahh do we do we remember these?

[crawjo]

"And you, you just sit around and ask for ashtrays,
Can't you reach?"

Dylan, "She's Your Lover Now"

[clinthopson]

Originally Posted by John L

How come my dog don't bark when YOU come around? (Dr. John)

JohnL you beat me to it!

The only better question is "Oop-Bop-Sh-Bam."

[Squaredancecalling Steve]

Who's making love with your old lady, while you were out makin' love?

**

What kind of love is this that makes me want to twist and shout?

**

How much is that doggie in the window, the one with the waggly tail?

**

Has anybody here seen Kelly: K-E-double L-Y?

**

Would you rather be a colonel with an eagle on your shoulder or a private with a chicken on your knee?

[Brian Olewnick]

How can I miss you if you won't go away?

[Enforcer]

Brian, for some reason I was expecting you to produce a King Crimson lyric.

[Pete C]

How do you do what you do to me?

[Chris D]

What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?

[Brian Olewnick]

Originally Posted by Larry Nagel

Brian, for some reason I was expecting you to produce a King Crimson lyric.

Will no one lay the laurel wreath
When silence drowns the scream?

[Squaredancecalling Steve]

How come you do me like you do do do
When I ain't done nothing to you?

[Chris D]

What can a poor boy do, 'cept sing for a rock'n'roll band?